The mind of Engineer_AYO

coming back soon

2011-09-04T12:13:00.000-04:00

heading back to blogging. watch this space. . .

No Arms, No legs, No Worries....

2009-08-10T20:36:00.001-04:00

you dey do me strong thing

2009-05-01T22:51:00.000-04:00

What Would You Do?

2009-04-10T19:27:00.002-04:00

please what the clip below and share your thoughts.

Top 10 Monday

2009-04-06T00:42:00.002-04:00

we all know the police are our friends, but there are some things you might say to them when they pull you over that could land you in more trouble. my top 10 today are the top 10 things you do not say to a police officer when you get stopped.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
its engineerAyo's TOP 10

TOP 10 THINGS YOU DO NOT SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER WHEN YOU GET PULLED OVER.

1. You had a donut today?
2. Dont you have better things to do?
3. Did you make your quota for this month?
4. Whats your badge number?
5. Thats not mine, i dont know how it got there?
6. Dont you have criminals to catch?
7. I didn't know i was going that fast?
8. Stop wasting my time.
9. I only had a few drinks
10. eff the Police

feel free to add a few of your own and if you have had personal experiences you might want to share please feel free.

have an awesome work week guys....

Feline Seduction

2009-04-04T22:41:00.006-04:00

it is Saturday nite, its been windy all day but i heard the weather tomorrow is going to be off the hook. i've been having issues with getting myself on here to update. so i have decided to rebrand my blog, but unlike Dora, the explorer and her nigeria rebranding quest. i have decided to change some things as a way of rebranding and not simply going all over shouting rebranding without things really changing. i have a few things in mind and i'll need you guys to help me out when the time comes. listed below are some things im thinking of rebranding with.
1. EngineerAyo's Monday Top 10
2. EngineerAyo's private thought(inspired by FemiB)
3. EngineerAyo's journey to becoming a CPA
4. once in a while i hope to do a post about EngineerAyoRESS
5. etc etc etc (theres more rebranding to come)

ok, i got back from work last monday and as i did my parallel park magic. i noticed my neighbours cat out in the yard beside the house pacing back and forth. with my windows wound up i could hear its calls. it was obvious it was restless, something serious was going on. i finished with my parking magic, stepped out and the cat was right by the car door. strange, as i walked to the house, we walked side by side and i almost tripped over it a few times. all the while it kept on with its calling which kinda became louder by the way.

as i moved to let myself in the house, puss gets closer and was rubbing itself all over my leg. i made an attempt to check its collar, just in case its house address was somewhere on it, and it dipped its head down, bent its legs and raised its back side. hmmm, i tried again and it did the same thing. anywho, i let myself in grabbed me a can of tuna and headed back out to feed it and it wasnt there no more. all well i went back in and i got thinking. what was wrong with the cat? was it on heat? why did it follow me instead of the woman walking on the sidewalk? was it my testosterone? was its cat sign language an act of flirting? was it scoping me? does it not know the difference between feline testosterone and human testosterone? did it know, but just didnt care at that point and just needed to get laid? i had more questions running around in my head than you have in an exam test booklet.

i dont know much about cats but i did some lil research and found out that the position it took when i tried to check its collar was the mating position. the 'calling' was a mating call, its rubbing against the steps, my legs, my shoe were all signs of it being on heat. so in conclusion i think i got seduced by a cat. i got hit on by a cat. i can go on a on but u get the gist. imagine, temptation plenty for this world o. even cat dey try tempt people now.

y'all have an awesome sunday. be sure to stop by on monday for the first instalment of 'engineerAyo's Monday Top 10'

lets make babies

2009-03-24T21:23:00.000-04:00

hi people, make una no vex. recession dey try catch my blog but it cannot fit to try it. theres a thin line between right and wrong. but this youtube video got me wondering. please watch it in its entirety and lets know wat u think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqXZGM_sfvA

i hope to update b4 the end og the week.

my MUSHED UP naija trip

2009-01-31T19:41:00.004-05:00

i was going to blog about the car stealing goat from naija but thats stale gist by now i assume. instead i'll talk a litte about my naija trip. my trip to naija was aiight. at least better than nothing, but it sure was a hell of a trip. you all remember all the BS they gave me even before i left good old JFK.

anyway, i left JFK a little delayed because we needed some plane de-icing (wings, wheels, tail even runway needed de-icing). the snow mixed with rain we had that day was one in a million. if i didnt know better i would have thot the prayers of people who wanted me to take them along but refused was being heard. moving on, we finally took off safely, a few minutes into the flight turbulence kicked in. no like the one i tried creating for yessie on our way back from maryland on one of our numberous road trips. this one was ebeano, if i learned anything from my flight that nite, it was to always heed to the fasten seatbelt calls we hear too often during flights. the turbulence kicked into overdrive and out of nowhere we were all jerked out of our seats violently enough for me to feel my butt lift way off the seat. u know the way it is on some rollercoasters (the ride NITRO at sixflagpoles in NJ comes to mind). anyway, we got thrown out of our seats and a little after that it was smoothflying all thru.

i arrived at heathrow and it was all cool beans and sauce. my aunt saw me for the first time in about 8yrs. long story short, i enjoyed my stay in the UK and soon it was time to pack my bags (which i never really unpacked) next stop naija.

then the wahala started, i got to the airport at about 7.45am, gatwick was a total mess that day by the way. got to the Virgin nigeria counter and then the bomb got dropped. somehow like this

VN staff: sir the flight was overbooked by the ticketing office in lagos.
VN staff: you wont be able to fly today, you've been bumped to tomorrow.

it sounded like april fools in december, cos first they had made me stay longer than i had planned. i had missed my highschool reunion because of that and now they were dashing me an extra day at my own expense. ok they paid for the hotel and all but that wasnt wat i paid for when i booked my flight damnit!

at this point i was fumming, ready to curse anyone from VN out. then it dawned on me, i wasnt the only one. checking in had started at 6am, they did a first come first serve thingie (so if u had checked in online, most likely u might still not have made that flight) and by 8am or thereabout the flight had been filled. my buddy L was lucky, he got to the airport just early enough to be able to check in. but they had overbooked damn flight by not 1 seat but by close to 30 seats. some lady also flew in from NY that same day, paid some 100 pounds for cab, even tipped the cab only to be told. YOU CANNOT TRAVEL TODAY, YOUR FLIGHT WAS OVERBOOKED. YOU FLY TOMORROW.

they said we would be checked in at about 10.30am after the flight we missed had left. they took our names, gave us vouchers to go get somn to eat and instructed us to come back. trust naija people, nobody left to use no voucher till after checking in.

anywho, part two of the whole thing happened when i tried to check in at 10.30am. they said they couldnt find my ticket to lagos on their system, WHAT! my aunt broke the guy a piece of her mind at this point. i called my agent and they had said they ot a call from the airline stating that i had been bumped to the next day so how come they couldnt see my trip tto lagos in their system(by the way they saw my return trip starting from lagos back to NY) i was on their fone on hold tryong to get them to talk to my agent for over 3hours(it had to be their fone cos i wasnt even going to use my money to call and stay on hold forever. Waste my money ke. IMPOSSICANT!) anyway, i had to pass the night at premier hotel,(london people fit know am well, it round the block from the airport). then found out from my amebo(very informed) hotel shuttle bus driver, that VN had been bumping people for a while, problem carried foreward if you ask me. and they had been checking them into the hotel for the nite. anyway, all nite i was on the fone with the agent, thank God for free internet calls. by morning i was the first person they saw at the checking counter, the guy whom had been giving me a hard time the day before was the one who eventually fixed the crap they caused.

they offered most of us free ticket valid for a year but i refused to even collect mine. you wonder why? its because i had the gutt feeling and based on some reliable info that they might not fly that route for much longer. THEY STOPPED FLIGHTS ON THAT ROUTE AS OF JAN 27TH WHICH HELPED ME CONFIRM. so i finally got to naija, caught a little fun as i could. it ended up being a serious trip instead of a relax myself trip. then part 3 got served, i tried checking in and the VN staff told me he couldnt locate my ticket again, i had to go to ticket desk for them to resync my ticket, whatever that means. i was about to start my very deserved tantrum when i looked at my mums face and she had noticed somn was wrong from far and had given me the calm-ur-nerves-and-dont-start-trouble-here look. anyway i did, they "resynced" my ticket and soon enough i was on my way, went thru security, customs, (they tried to make money off of me as usual) searched for souvenirs to buy for my co-workers. got them the I LOVE NIGERIA fridge magnet from duty free. then i got my GOOD BYE NAIJA gift. but unlike the welcome naija gift thats given to everyone on arrival (NO AIR CONDITIONING) my good bye gift was unique to our flight alone. guess what it is, u cant guess, no u cant try again, impossicant, u get a 2012 range rover before vera if u do.

oh you still want to know my gift, THERE WAS NO POWER/LIGHT/ELECTRICITY at the gate my flight was meant to leave from for quite a while thus we couldnt board. and with that i left naija with the hope of returning before the end of the year. if you think u have been given a better goodbye naija gift let us know.

see below for the pics i took of my gift, some nonsense lady thot i ws taking pics of her daughters while i tried taking pics of my gift by the way. SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL HER I DONT DO JAIL BAIT.

PS: i'll add the pics later tonight, i ned to get myself to upload it from the memory card first.

Hope they are listening

2009-01-20T16:16:00.003-05:00

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."

President Barack Obama

this whole inauguration thing has been all i've heard from most people for the past week. from people wanting to know what Mrs Obama would wear, to those wishing the day would come already so he'll get to work, t to those expecting his inaugural speech. talking about his inaugural speech. Number 44 as he would be called by some said something in his speech today that i hope nigerian/african poliSTEALtians heard as the whole world also did. its the quote above, i know you must have heard it but if not, join me in saying a prayer for our PEPPERSOUPing, SUYAing and BIG-STOUTing politician. not for them to keep up with the aforementioned but for them to take toposted quote and make it their new creed/mision statement/goal/purpose ati be be lo.

gist of my trip to naija later.

'who owns the child,' disVIRGIN NIGERIA and other stories

2008-12-15T21:27:00.005-05:00

hey my people, this is a public service announcement.
i should have done this long ago but i was busy battling some oloshious fellow under the name virgin nigeria(VN). i'll keep it simple and straight forward.

IF YOU KNOW ANYONE GOING TO NIGERIA ANYTIME THIS MONTH FROM THE STATES, PLEASE HELEP ME CONTACT THEM TO CHECK THEIR FLIGHT INFO FOR ANY CHANGES.

idiotic VN cancelled and changed my flight on me without notifying me, i only found out that they did such when i called to do the runaround of trying to change my flight. now as it stands i'm missing my highschool reunion which is one of the reasons i decided to go to naija in the first place. im staying in london for twice days(my aunt and my cousins are happy with that by the way, instead of staying a few hours im now staying a few days)

i doubt if a lot of people have found out that their flights might be leaving days late or might be leaving from a totally different airport. yeah they might arrive at heathrow and depart for lagos from gatwick. it is depressing and i have made up my mind never to fly anything virgin nigeria again. by the way did i mention that its a possibility that only part of the flight might be changed, meaning ur flight to london might be the same but ur flight from london to lagos might have been changed. and for ur return flight, ur flight from lagos to london might be delayed by one day but ur connecting flight might not have changed. so chances that u would be in th air on ur way to london, while ur connecting flight might be leaving london for NY is a VERY GREAT POSSIBILITY.

anyway enough of the mess called virgin nigeria, my mate from highschool put this as her faceCRAPbook status message a while ago and i thot to share.
WHO OWNS THE CHILD? THE MAN OR THE WOMAN? B4 YOU ANSWER, THINK ABOUT THIS. WHO OWNS THE COKE, THE INSERTR OF THE COIN OR THE VENDING MACHINE?

who would have thought throwing of a show is considered an act of protest. how many nigerian political thieving elite would we need to throw shoes at? and with their overfed selves, we would most often hit the target cos their hanging bellies would sure get in their way as they try to dock.

thanks for hearing my rant, im off to naija of friday night so i might be off blogville for a minute. i'll try to blog but just in case i cant blog while in naija. i got a new huge and improved mail box. i can still accept gifts, so feel free to send my new year, hanukah, kwanzaa, yomkipur, xmas, ati be be lo gifts i have enough space to receive each and everyone of them.

100th Blog Post: ITS MY LIFE!

2008-12-03T00:20:00.003-05:00

It`s My Life
It's my life
take it or leave it
set me free
What's that crap-papa-know-it-all? I got my own life
Live your life and set me free mind your business
And leave my business you know everything papa-know-it-all
Very little knowledge is dangerous
Stop bugging me
stop bothering me
Stop bugging me
stop forcing me
Stop fighting me
stop yelling me
It's my life.
It's my life
it's my life my worries
It's my life
it's my life my problems
It's my life
it's my life my worries
It's my life
it's my life my problems.
It's my life
do you understand?
I live the way I want to live
I make decisions day and night
show me signs and good exemples.
Stop telling people how to run your business
Take a trip to east and west you find
that you don't know anything
Every's getting tired of you sometime
you have to look and listen
You can even lears from me little knowledge is dangerous
It's my life.
It's my life ...
It's my life set me free so you bed so you lie
What you see is what you get listen to people and sort things out
Things I do I do them no more things I say I say them no more
Changes comes once in life
Stop bugging me
stop bothering me
Stop bugging me
stop forcing me
Stop fighting me
stop yelling me
Stop telling me
stop seeing me
It's my life!

Dr. Alban

Date-Rape: when Laws protect the predator

2008-11-21T21:53:00.008-05:00

We have a society where there are spelt out consequences for every crime/offence you can think of. Some crimes/offences even have more than one consequence just for effects or better still to drive the message home. But depending on how some are committed, the laws broken are interpreted differently thus the consequence is interpreted differently. Heck, a few of us might have contested a traffic ticket or two even though we knew the very moment we got pulled over that we were wrong. We notice the officer spelt our name wrong, got the color of our car wrong (its dark green but he wrote down black), got the time and place wrong, and we choose to fight the ticket due to that fact. Yes, if you get your story perfected you would probably come out tops in traffic court.

Are you wondering what I’m up to yet? Read on… I was running around the internet while taking a break from working today and I came across some article on msnbc. It’s a story about women drugged and raped yet the jury still couldn’t convict said offender. I don’t have to define rape on here, if you need its definition consult dictionary (don’t) com. I read through the report with my mouth wide open. According to the article, if a rape victim knows her assailant, there is an 80% chance that said assailant would walk free. It was hard to comprehend the actions of the affected women afterwards and what must have been going thru their heads. What they must be feeling? I read unbelievable statements like,

“Cases where a victim knows her assailant are still extraordinarily hard to win,”

“To a juror, a rapist is a guy who jumps out of the bushes and throws a woman to the ground,”

“She has terrible injuries, and she leaps up and reports it immediately to the police. Anything that falls short of that story is questionable.”

After reading thru the whole article, I am left wondering what are laws for if they do not protect you in all scenarios. I wondered why a jury is picked not to include anyone who has ever been sexually violated or who has ever had a direct/indirect experience with such previously, just so the offender could get a fair trial. I ask, what about the VICTIM? Doesn’t he or she have the right to a fair trial as well?

I’m beginning to feel anger building up inside me. it is a lengthy article but please read the article here and give me your 2cents.

why is she singing the "i miss you" song into my ears

2008-11-15T12:33:00.008-05:00

Long post caution

why do we always try to fry our cake and bake it too? this is the story of the EX, why is it ok to make us break down and then she turns around and wants to be friends. while being friends is sometimes a good thing, why has she been singing some darn "i miss you" song in my ears lately.

lil past into:

we were friends for a minute. while we were friends i was in another relationfish at the time. she knew all about it and how i had handled the previous relationship. she knew how i could treat her with respect and how i could care for her and all. maibe that was wat made her want more. so anyway, when i became a free agent again, she had stated that she gbadun-ed my ringtone and all that good stuff.(NO i am not the next best thing after sliced bread) i had initially refused, talk about a girl asking a guy out and him saying no. lol. my initialy no had been bcos i didnt want to put myself on the line so soon after the past breakdown. anyway, after a while my No mutated into a Yes and we started kicking things.

sure everything was all cool beans till she realised she wasnt getting younger and wanted some more committment from me. In all honestly i didnt have a problem with that. Thing is, she wasnt making me feel secure enough to commit to her the way she wanted. not like i was chasing after anything and everything else in skirt (i dont do those) but i wasnt feeling the peace of mind that would make me consider raising her up to another level.

short story long, she cheated. i found out(insector gadget) she didnt want to let me go. she actually wanted to date the twice of us at the same time although she knew i knew she was telling someone else the L word as well. (i have suffered). dude treated her like crap, or had been twice dating her as well. all this happened so fast, i thot even God gives a second chance so who am i not to. fact remained things werent the same, i started to grow distant from her (unknowingly) yet i still treated her awesome. she then started beating the drums of committment even louder, and the first thought in my head was. after all this u made me experience u would have to do more than simply request for committment u would have to show me serious reason to want to. anyway turned out she was more self centered than i thot. she became nasty, picked arguments with everything, something as simple as me taking a deep breath could have sparked off an argument.
e.g.
ex: whats wrong?
me: nothing
ex: why did u take a deep breath, there must be something?
me: nothing seriously.
ex: there must be something and then continue by pissing me off and get pissed at me for getting pissed off.

anywho by this time the distance between us had put us in different time zones, she kept on with her attitude and got pissed at me more for telling her the truth about how i felt and she also got pissed cos even with that i was calm and kept my head. i tried to put us back right, call it reassemble, call it recycle, call it repackaging, call it whatever u want. i tried but it still had the flavor of the past. simple she was just a self first person, she wanted something and since i wasnt moving an inch. she figured to act up maibe i'd do wat she wanted. lil did she know that she was building a gentle monster. another funny thing is, she wont breakup with me so she could move on and find her committment somewhere else. i asked her once too, i hit the nail on the head so hard she was shocked. i asked without stumble, why wont u break up with me. she said she didnt know and she went ahead and got pissed for asking. using the, "are u tired of this relationfish? if u r tired let me know" line. i was just there laughing inside me.(im not evil by the way)

anywho, sometime after that, we were talking and she got into one of her kini and i was like, i dont think we could fix this. i gave my whole going away speech and she was like if thats what i want then fine. im like its not what i want but if thats what would fix things then why not. anywho we stayed friends per her earlier request. her sister and her kids still call me. we spoke a few times for like 5minutes. conversation was colder than alaska, i asked her why she didnt want to do the breaking down and she tried to get pissed, i simply closed the conversation.

ok now she has been trying to hold conversations. she would call, send a mail or leave me a message on FB. now heres the thing, she has been saying she misses me each chance she gets, i have been acting like i didnt hear or i'll just respond by saying 4real? and would keep it moving. what does she want from me? when she found out i was going to naija, she already asked if i would attend her other sistes wedding. i asked, AS WHAT? plus she wont be there.

anyway thanks for reading whats on my mind today, watch out for my next post. its titled, AN ONLINE PICTURE OF VERA EZIMORA. yes u read right, she has begged, bribed, threatened, seduced, romanticized, canoodled and whateverumacallited me into not blogging about this. she even said if i did, she would make me swim with the fishes (think italian mob) i was quick to remind her that she was russian not italian. i know people who know people. i'm still thinking about her offers though, im a democratic dictator so i'll be fair. i'll consider both sides of the coin and pick.

DAWN....

2008-11-09T23:41:00.002-05:00

DAWN....

today will soon be the past
then tomorrow will be today
time slips away so fast
so make each moment pay
because you can't recover lost time
there is no return to yesterday
life doesn't always rhyme
and the future is a new day
lost time is gone
the past has no replay
today is a new dawn
a chance to go a new way

REST IN PEACE

PATA PATA

what im thinking...

2008-11-07T13:47:00.004-05:00

the stomping is over, the unlimited fliers being sent to me asking me to vote for Mr. A over Mr. B is no more. no more, who are you voting for? vote for Mr. Man. ok? Barack Obama has been elected the 44th president of "These United States".
But me being the engineer that i am, i have opted to doctor some of the facts from this election cycle. im not against obama, im not sure why i have decided to attend this school of thought but one thing is sure, i've been thinking these things for a minute. i dont know if its boredom or my love for viewing things different (thinking outside of outside the box) that has prompted this blog entry. but whatever it is got me thinking good.

would i have voted for McCain if he hadnt picked Sarah Palin? would i still have voted obama if his VP pick had been someone like Palin? would i have voted democrat if the nominee had been a Biden or a Clinton? Would i have voted for McCain if McCain/Palin hadn't started spilling verbal constipation by making such comments about Obama being socialist/terrorist/muslim/anti-american the list goes on till etc.
Some argue that most people of color voted for him because he is of color as well, whatever happened to the fact that he is hybrid. what reason would be given for the majority who are not like him yet voted for him.(bandwagoners u might say, correct?) or did they support him so as not to be labelled the "R" word? Al Sharpton contested a few times b4 him, Jesse Jackson did same but there was not this much support for them as Obama got. could it be that he is actually different and could deliver? would Americans ask for his head in a short time or would they allow him time as they did for Bush to mush things up?

all these questions i raised i might never get answers to, not like im expecting to anyway but i felt i needed to ask them.

WHAT THE EEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFF IS THE MATTER WITH US?

2008-10-15T20:04:00.005-04:00

can someone please help me pick up my jaw, and shed a tear or 20 for the world we live in. read on to find out why.

my eyes have seen things, my ears have heard things, i know the world is on a moral downward spiral. i've had myself believe that things are not as bad as i might think. but am i wrong. they say grown men dont cry but i just shed a tear, for our world has mutated into something i can't put my finger on. i say mutated because i dont believe good old evolution could have been responsible for this. u might wonder where all this is coming from. what in the world could make engineerAyo shed a tear a 3. u'll find out at the end of the post. my friend sent me a clip on youtube and my jaw dropped i'll need a fork lift or a crane to raise it back into place. watch the youtube clip below and make sure u swear for whoever didnt do a good job at educating the kids in the video. help me formulate somn special for the adults present and didnt stop the madness u r about to watch.

the space above is for the invisible curses i rained on those responsible for all the moral breakdown in our world.

"Live from NEW YORK, its SATURDAY NIGHT!...."

2008-10-05T17:10:00.000-04:00

thanks NBC

ChiefO the driver-pilot....

2008-10-02T12:27:00.004-04:00

...or is it pilot-driver???

It was 4th of July '07. ChiefO suggested we head out to MD on a one day road trip for his friend's BBQ. I'm like cool. Yeah, I-95 is probably used to seeing Ayo and I do a quick round trip on the same day

I'm like who's your friend, he says, "Funmie and a couple of others I met in blogville" I so never visited blogville at the time because I just didn't have patience for it.

Anyway, whenever we have to drive back to NY on the same day we aim to leave home at about 4 a.m... never happens because ChiefO wouldn't get up from bed to get ready until I call him that I've arrived to pick him up. (We live on two extremes, I in Long Island and in on Slanting Island, he is closer to NY border so makes sense for me to do the picking/meeting up) And I have to leave L.I at 4a.m because my sprinklers got on at 4.13 a.m and it's a mad race to beat it so I don't get soaked. (funny to watch me racing to the car.. don't even try coming home after 4 a.m and u have suede shoes on, shoo u might as well kiss dem shoes goodbye,.. i've learned to leave them in the car till later in the day.)

Back to ChiefO. He finally gets ready, we head for I-95, get to MD by 8a.m. He calls Funmie, and she's just heading home from work. Funmie's mom is super nice, she hooks us up with Boiled yam and stew... I knocked out for a few hours... I woke up later and she's like "Are you okay?" Wondering if I'm feeling sick or so. I respond by saying, "Excuse me ma, it's your fault I slept off and for so long too, you fed me yam and it makes people sleep." She just burst out laughing at me. Plus before that day I couldn't remember the last time I ate yam, I felt I was in naija all of a sudden -- good stuff.

I met Vera and a few other blogvillers, Oh BTW Funmie's kid sister who happens to be my favorite person in that family, is totally Vera's mini-me(jealous Funmi always talking abt ahan, is she the only u know in this family?) ...
ChiefO works the grill as though he was born to do it, and Funmi and Vera try to stuff me with everything stuffable because there was everything grillable there... shoo, I'm salivating right just thinking about it.

But this post is meant to be about ChiefO, so lemme get back on track
It's about 8p.m we get on the road, ChiefO likes to do rest stops I HATE it. Anyway, a few hours later, I pullover at a rest stop for him, and ask him to take over driving...I grab my trusty blanket and off I was in dream land... I woke up a while later and said, "Damn, that sleep was so sweet it felt like the one you have in an airplane"...
while laughing hysterically ChiefO responds saying, "shoo do u want turbulence? I can go all the way to the right lane if you do, the road there is rough so you'll get some turbulence"... I just gave him 'the look' and went back to sleep.

Just one of a gazillion teasers I have to ensure from him, but trust me I always get him back, and real good too. Except, my friends then tell me, "why do u treat him like a step-brother?" shio to that, if only they see him in action too when he's picking on me

"igwe", nigerian day parade, X

2008-09-21T08:52:00.004-04:00

ok IGWE, that some song on Dbanj's latest CD. i dont know how that song is doing me but i've been feeling it a lil too much lately. im scared to listen to it on TRUSPOT cos IT might block it like they did DUDURADIO. maibe i'll just get the CD and rip it onto WMP, they cant block that can they. Igwe - DBanj "IGWE E! IGWE E! IGWE E!"

NIGERIAN INDEOENDENCE DAY PARADE NYC 2008 is on saturday, i dont know if i'll be attending yet. but im kinda like 70% on the side of attending. anyway, i'll be sure to get my paparazzi on for y'all to see if i decide to add the remaining 30% to my 70%. hopefully i'll have fun, cos parades tend to get boring after attending 3 yrs straight if i know how to count right. my passies from slanting island are attending. which is kinda why i might be there as well. if u need to know who i am. just simple look for that dude in a gray polo shirt with everyone around him in green. yeah i know im special like that. few yrs back i did my gray thing and my friends were cursing me out. i just didnt feel like being eco friendly (going green) dats all. im feeling the same way this year as well. but we'll see i might decide to go green afterall. maibe i wont want to be the only one not in green in my passie circle. talking about green, i need to call vera, is she driving to NYC for parade or is her chicken livered self staying put in good old Bmore as always. idiot like her, she has been making noise about attending for God knows how long. come to think of it, if vera were to attend, since she is already green, that means she wont need to wear anything since her birthday dress is green enough. not like that would be a good sight but anyway. on a second thot i doubt if she'll attend though. Her baby TAB lives in NY and she might not want to meet up with him in a public place. she prefares private sessions.

guess who is back blogging

2008-09-20T20:01:00.003-04:00

i'm blogging again, tell a friend. i could rant about OBAMA and McCAINT but im so tired of all the bruhaha i have decided to delete everything politics from my daily diet(i'll see how long that would last) anywho, for those wondering where i've been and what i've been up to. i've been running around the whole northeastern united states. I-95 seems to be my favorite interstate, but even with that, i have really cut back on my MD trips. i remember last year i was in MD so many times some pple actually thot i had finally relocated. u know somn funny though, the times i've gone to MD this year have all been because my mum is around and we've had a few family kinikon to attend which she didnt want to miss. ranging from my uncles surprise 60th birthday parry to family reunion (that i would later talk about). i'd rather endure the driving than have them dis-son or dis-nephew me. im not promising but the next time i go to MD this year, i'll have funmie's isi-ewu with me. for u see i didnt forget u. i've had ur isi-ewu between my mind for as long as u've requested it.

talking about isi-ewu, my isi-ewu lady is back from naija. she left since april and just got back. im thinking what in the world could she be doing in naija for that lng. instints tell me that she has gone to use our isi-ewu and pepper soup money to build some massive contraption in her village. anywho maibe just for the sake of amebo i'll ask her when i decide to go get me some pepper soup as medicine for this cold weather.

by the way, i think FALL is here too early. i've needed to dress warm the past few days and its not funny cos that is simply a sign that b4 we say shokolokobangoshe we'll be cleaning out snow for xmas. rewind maibe u cos i'll be in naija. hehehe. its been a minute. naija actually emailed me to invite me to come visit. talk about personal invite. its sending its not so private jet aka ??????airways.

i don dey tire abeg. ok honestly speaking a lot more stuff has happened since my last blog entry. aka my marriage proposal which i declined. the groom price that was offered my mum after i declined the marriage proposal and some other tantalizing drama. family reunion gist would wait till next time hopefully i wont have more juicy stuff to run my mouth over than i could put in one entry.

from Gasoline to Ireland with love

2008-05-04T11:19:00.003-04:00

hey my people. work is kicking my ass, almost to the extent i begining to regret taking my vacation. its like they all joined forces against ur one and only. anyway any over-working fashioned against me na simply beans talk.

gist of the week, i was running around on yahoo news the other day and i found this video clip about people going around syphoning gasoline from other peoples cars. i watched the clip with amusement, the first thot was my fellow american are so lagging behind in this great act. i remembered back in naija when my neighbours kids would raid their mum's car every night in their quest to "refill" their own car. and this wasn't around the time when gasoline was scarce, so imagine how they got when gasoline got scarce. i did my own fair share of syphoning, but mine was more for fueling the generator to watch champions league games than anything else. all this really shows how mushed up things have become. imagine costco limiting the number of bags of rice customers could buy. NO BE BEANS TALK O! but im not surprised though, for a long time it cost more to buy a gallon of milk than to buy a gallon of gas, so i'd be right to say that gas prices felt threatened it was getting upstaged by good old milk and it had to raise its game.

on a similar but different note, i went to ireland for my vacation, and it felt so awkward. from their driving on the wrong side of the road, the cars looking like toys and their not ever going past the speed limit. did i mention that the widest road had just 4lane (two in either direction) even lil richmond ave has 8 lanes in some places. it was an experience that was hard to swallow. it was made worse when i decided to go shopping, i got to the mall at about 6pm only to find out all the stores had closed for the day and all that was open was the grocery store.(where is SUPER WALMART) i wanted to blow a fuse, for God sake it was a saturday and the stores were closed by 6pm thats so not right. cos even my slanting island mall stays open till 10pm on saturdays. i learnt a lot of hard lessons on my trip, but if u ask me if i'd go to ireland again, i sure would. just that this time i'd make sure i go with strictly water proof clothing cos the way rain falls in that country get K leg pass one of my friends. one minute its sunny, next minute its raining cows and chickens. it was such that i thot it was some kinda game. (i guess dats why ireland is called a green country)

i'd gist y'all about my KFC experience next time.

happy birthday grandma

2008-04-27T10:35:00.002-04:00

my grandma turned 81 yesterday. someone please join me in saying a lil' big prayer for her.

i'll be back for the post of the day.

talking the talk

2008-04-20T14:58:00.002-04:00

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it"

those are the words spoken by Aung San Suu Kyi(political activist) those words are also the only explanation i could give to the shabang thats happening in southern africa today. i know im meant to blog about fun stuff but its hard to ignore the happenings in a certain country thats looking to set new standards for a failed state.

anyway, back to fun stuff. is it just me or is there a viral infection spreading in the name of ASA. she has been around for a minute(once upon a time i listened to her songs at work for 10 hrs straight) and due to my binge listening antics, DUDURADIO has been blocked by our IT dept. oooffffing eefffers! i call it a viral infection because even my fellow nigerians who would normally consider speaking yoruba or anything close to it as being local, razzzzz etc are bumping their heads to her songs and Gongo So by 9ice. short story summarized, "RAZZZZZ is the NEW COOL" but the flip side to this could be that everyone and their twins are tired of these naija artists singing about money and KELE's although most of them signed "SLAVE CONTRACTS" that wont allow them make as much as they should be making. but some things have to be kept the way they are, the fans built these lil monsters and the artists are only keeping up with the monsters their fans have built.

Can someone please tell MAMA CHELSEA and her MARATHON RUNNER rival to cut out all their bullManure already(actually its too late for that now) back in january i had said that these twice people should sort it out between themselves, basically cook up somn where one is president and the other takes vice-president. but NO they just had to play though guy till now, thus allowing their bullManure to start giving off perfume. e.g. marathon runners ex-pastor's comment bruhaha and MAMA CHELSEA's Sniper attack LIE.

Pennsylvania primary is on tuesday. make we see wetin go happen cos at this time T, junction J and point P. i'd really wanna know who either of them would pick as vice if they end up getting the nomination. i saw a clip from their debate few days ago when they were asked if they could make each other vice and i couldnt figure out what answer they both gave as answers cos they linked it up to a whole bunch of anything else.

anywho, i'll be back with gist about my vacation, YEAH I WAS ON VACATION FOR A MINUTE. till i come your way again, i remain engineerAYO FFF, BBC, CNN, AIT, NTA, MITV, DBN, the adopted step grandson of her royal wineness.

PEACE FOR THE PPLE WHO ARE GONE...YEEEPA FOR THE ONES NOT YET BORN

2008-03-30T19:29:00.002-04:00

"PEACE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GONE, YEEEEEPA! FOR THE ONES NOT YET BORN" Those are the words/lyrics of ASA. On my journeys while dining with princes and scoping princesses. i heard said song and i felt some feelings i hadnt felt for quite a while now. i'm really not the politics junkie that some people might expect but when i see whats happening in this world of ours. i cant help but pitch in my 2 cents.

blonging

2008-03-27T20:03:00.002-04:00

last time i blogged was like 15million cat years ago. i dont know whats been keeping me from bloging but i think i need to get back to my blogging ways.

i've been away dinning with princes, flying with kings and queens (trying to hook up with their daughters)

by the way, does anyone know where vera, OFAwhemed, afropinay, funmie, mari, cherub (baltimore gal), stranger's life ati be be lo. all the important ppl on my blog street. anyway i dey go come. make una wait me.

makes you think

2007-09-26T21:12:00.000-04:00

the original video was removed, hopefully this one wont.

when a car gets stressed out, BORNDAY, venting ati be be lo.

2007-09-02T20:38:00.001-04:00

ok my bornday is a stone throw away. i dont know whats gonna happen, i dont expect to get any gifts from most people. cheap ass vera you better give me something or u can count urself step-husbandless, do not give me excuses.

on a seriouser note though. i'm going to boston for my birthday weekend. i love driving thus 4hrs would be like drinking garri milk and sugar.

i feel like venting, but i dont know where to start, a lot of bookshit is happeneing thats pissing me the shit off. it sucks cos its kinda out of my control too. God dey sha, i'll be over it sooner than i could expect. i've been quiet for a minute on this blog, not that i dont have stuff to blog about but i just dont have the internal inuendum to sit and type out my thots et all. i hope to get back to blogging cos i feel the steam building up in me again and my blog or just doing blog rounds sometimes serves as a release valve.

yahooze

2007-08-25T23:59:00.000-04:00

birthday, reality show, novel reading, i'll be back with more..

2007-08-09T21:21:00.000-04:00

ok, you ppl. my birthday is a month away o. and i have decided to ask for just one gift. normally i dont ask for stuff but i feel i should ask this year and see those who would actually give a gift. i have asked some for $600 shoe which i would be surprised if i actually get it. (they all expect gifts for theirs yet they dont give gift) dont let the price of the shoe fool u into thinking its not affordable o, it is very affordable.

b4 i forget, abeg these naija people have come again with their wahala o, when will they ever copy something right. u wonder wat i'm making noise about. its all this their reality show copying habit o. they forget the logistics that it entails and just throw something out there. i read on the BBC website that some innocent contestant drowned during one of their nonsenseseses. dem forget say american shows get enough behind the scene cast, extras ati be be lo. ranging from medics, to life savers abi se na life guard dem dey call dem. anywho soon they would learn jare, MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE. AMEN.

moving on, did i tell you all i read a novel for the first time in over 10 years sometime last month. and i am so proud of myself. its by a nigerian author, EL-NUKOYA is his name. title of the book is NINE LIVES. anywho help me congratulate me for reading a book thats not a text book abeg its not everyday that happens to me.

i was doing blog rounds and i came across this piece by mineexclusively(i no know how to link person page jare) anyway search blogville for her page maibe later i'll add her to my favorites dat wat i can just refer to it. search for her blog read and comment, no be say una go just read comot mouth as always o.

trip to toronto

2007-07-26T20:47:00.000-04:00

hey people, i've MIA for twice months and change. a lot has happened during that time. i've been to maryland twice, one for cherub's sisters grad and the other for funmie's lil sisters BBQ (at least thats wat vera and funmie made it seem like allthough na soso overage ppl full there.
anyway, at the BBQ i put my enginering ability to work. I was the mesuya, enough grilling, wat didnt i grill u name it, it was on the menu, naija style suya (not the sorry excuse for BBQ some people feed you with) Asun (essabanty you do well o) roasted yam, fish, corn, boli (roasted plantains)and all the other stuff icant remember. If not for God "ube" (spelling) for dey there sef. anywho, engineerAyo did his thing and vera and funmie started thinking of and planning the next BBQ the very next day.

then i went to toronto, i know say overwhelmed go throw tantrum for me on this one but make she no vex. anywho, i went to toronto o Via ohio. you ask me wetin i find go ohio first abi. NO LONG THING. we drove (after agege bread the next awesome thing is road trips abeg) anywho, drove to tororonto, which was awesome, as i must have said 15million times already. na small i remain dem for crown me baale of toronto b4 i comot. but i just had to decline their offer.

anywho, b4 i forget i almost missed my flight to ohio scrap that i missed my flight to ohio but if not for the timely intervention of the almighty who made the flight delayed na another tori i for dey talk now. anyway the flight was delayed, i did my james bond after gtting to the airport at 5.15pm when my flight was meant to take off at 5.25pm i sha used my head and i was able to get my bad checked and i caught my flight.

back to toronto, na wa for una o, wetin dem dey take gas do for canada wey the thing cost money like that.(if u wanna make money abeg open gas station for canada)

anyways, short story long, toronto was fun, i'll be back later to give you gist on wat i went across the border for in the first place, i'll also talk about our amala eating detour thru detroit, MI. how nonsense customs wasted our time at the border cos of some flower wey we carry. i no blame dem, if to say we no tell dem say flower dey back dem for no waste our time. good citizens we are.

anywho, thats all for now, be back with more. make i go find food.
NB: afropinay is in transit to DUBAI, she suppose don land now sef. hopefully she would update soon. BYE BYE to her chinko life. now she can blog and comment and blog again and comment again and blob again without any chinko restriction on wat she can say.

i'm back

2007-07-24T23:06:00.000-04:00

hey my people na body? how na dey? sorry for not blogging for a extra long minute. na condition make fish begin do family planning. i've had a couple of ups and downs but i've kept myself in one piece thus far.

i'll be back to give y'all gist about the bookshytes i've been up to. e.g. my trip to toronto, detour thru detroit to eat amala. their speed limit in Km and gas flipping expensive. anywho make i never too talk, update on all the NY bookshytes too, MARS 2112, my trip first beach trip since i've been in NY, damn i cant believe i stayed this long b4 i got disvirgined or for lack of a better word, beachvirgined.

my nonsense friend who wants to get married next summer or so she thinks. my adopted aburo who is having a 21st bornday bash this friday is threatening fire if i dont attend. like say that would make me change my mind.

anywho work dey tomorrow make all men go catch sleep

"blueberry lomo"

interesting things happening....

2007-05-02T13:32:00.000-04:00

a lot has been happening around me, in my head and everywhere in between. the metamorphosis is wat i have been willing to blog about for a long while but each time i start typing, i chicken out and just simply delete the post or i save it to draft.
anyway, during one of my unlimited sessions of thinking things in search of my peace of mind, i was rudely interupted by a fone call. picked up and it was O.F. she was like hey mr. wats up we have gist. anyway being the listening ear that i am (note i didnt not say amebo) i listened and at the end of the listening sessions i came up with this question.

what would you do if you go into ur dads room to get a dvd,vcd,wateverumacallit. u get there and a couple of them looked like the one u wanted. u turn on the dvd player to test it out and at that point P and time T u get the surprise of all surprises. their was a dvd already in and its contents was shocking to the marrow of ur bone. long story short, the said dvd contained porn. what would be ur reaction? what would you do? there are more questions than i could give answers to myself but i'll be glad to read ur thots about this YAM aka ISSUE.

metamorphosis of ME....

2007-04-28T19:49:00.000-04:00

hey people. wats good? its been a rather long minute. this is kinda like the intro to the metamorphosis of me blog post i had wanted to put up for the past longshort minute. basically it would talk about me, how i've been, and how different situations around me have (for lack of a better) changed me. some have brought me full circle, some have not but all in all, everything put together sorta seems to me like a metamorphosis of sort. anyways y'all be good (yeah right) like you would actually listen. i'll be back for what might be part one or maibe a shorthand version of the whole thing.

BAD DAY :( :(

2007-04-16T15:41:00.000-04:00

its been raining for like forever. i slept with 12inches of water in my basement lastnight. it had receeded a lil bit by this morning. had to be at work, dont know how my basement looks like right now. hopefully all my summer cloths are not messed up. cant imagine shopping for stuff i didnt have to shop for.

:( :( :( :(

Inna lillahi wainna ilayhi rajiAAoona.(Q2 vs 156)

just got news that my grandma from my second mum has passed.

Rest in peace Grandma.

Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! to Allah we belong and truly, to him we shall return."
(Surat Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #156)

COMING OUTTA THE CLOSET!

2007-04-12T19:43:00.000-04:00

hey people, how has your week been? mine has been hectic like say we dey war zone. anywho, i came online to blog about some serious stuff. (the metamorphosis of me. Part 1.5) but i had to upload some stuff i've been holding back for y'all b4 doing that. i hope you awesome people would not think of me different after reading this, cos i'll need all the support and encouragement i can get.

B4 i start uploading wats on my mind. lately i've been listening to BBC news at work and yesterday i heard on there that female civil servants (govt workers) are required to fill out an appraisal and the rules require them to give information about their menstrual cycle, the last time tehy took maternity leave, etc etc etc etc. i dont know for them o but one think i can bet my money on is that, it is a man that came up with the idea. its funny to me cos i dont understand how this piece of information would benefit the indian Govt. i cant help but laugh at this orisirisi beautiful nonsense these indian people are pulling with themselves. talk about invasion of privacy on a grand scale. even VERA would not want such information in the hands of just anybody, who knows wat harm they might cause or wat they might do with it.

Now the reason for this blog post. the past couple of weeks have been very dificult for me. i know this would come as a shock to many of my readers, even my friend. but i've calculated the pro's and cons of my actions and i've decided to come out into the open. i've made a decision and i'm taking a bold step forward starting with this blog post.

i cannot continue to live the way i am, i cant say categorically that i've been living a lie but i hope my doing this would help lift a whole lot off my lil chest and i could be as clear headed as everyone else. those of you that personally know me(i'm not so A-NONI-MONS) might not have seen traces or traits butt hey were there all along. sometimes visible sometimes otherwise but they have always been present. even missDBL couldnt have seen this coming and i didnt hide it from her either.

i've had my moments on the DL too. i remember as far back as highschool, there was this one person that always made something in me jump whenever we are in the same space. i didnt see it as anything then but time has revealed to me that that i was feeling back then.

i hope some of you wont be dissapointed in me, or hopefully i wont have dissappointed any of you. i have been in denial all the while but this past couple of weeks were brutal, kinda like a turning point for me. this is wat makes me happy, i'm glad i can finally share this piece of information with you guys. i would really appreciate your support and taking time out to hear me out. i thank you all in advance for your support from here on from the bottom of my LUNGS (i say lungs bcos i have a icepick where my heart used to be) what i have been trying to say is that, i think i am in love with tall girls. yes! you heard right and I said it. I AM COMING OUT AND PUBLICLY DECLARING MY LOVE FOR TALL GIRLS.

MD gist!

2007-04-08T11:03:00.000-04:00

hey my people, fellow manbeings and womanbeings. Guess what! 71 is the new 21! yeah i said it. if u dont know, now u know.
i finally got over the hangover i suffered from going to MD (it was a hangover well suffered my people, read on to find out) my weekend in MD for Vera's mum gig was totally fantalistic (i need more of those weekend getaways 4 real)

anywho, Vera was totally awesome and way i can share and in ways i cannot share. i drove out to MD on saturday and nonsense funmie was complaining i got to her house too early. meaning the time i left home till the time i got to her house did not add up to mapquest's timing. anywho, i got to funmie's she was cooking and ish. i finally met funmies lil sister. she is such an awesome lil girl(reminds me of my nieces)

you all remember Vera saying she was gonna hook me up in MD right. YES she did hook me up. i shoulda known that she was talking about herself.(she gave me hints too but i didnt pickup them) anyway he experience was totally worth it sha. let no BF as Vera wat we did. its between Vera and I.

yes i finally delivered Vera's isi-ewu to her. funmie tried to trick me into giving her the isi-ewu but its a good thing i didn't cos the isi-ewu did stuff to Vera that it hasn't done in a long time.

i know Vera would have given you her side of the story and the happenings at the party. so i'll be giving you all the deleted scenes. scan forward to the end of the night. funmie asked if i could stay over instead of me going to rent a room as i had planned. i don't know wat she was thinking o, but i told her Vera and i had made other special plans(wink wink).

anyways we loaded the cars up. i drove mine, Vera drove her mums and her mum drove the rental car. yeah now i believe whenever Vera says stuff about her mum its not like she is adding to it most times its verbatim. (did Vera tell you guys about the balloon escapade, if not, go ask her about it) anywho we got to Vera's place and we offloaded some of the stuff from the cars, put them away nicely. (Vera kept eyeing her isi-ewu) then it was time to sleep, at this point I'll like to thank Vera for sharing her bed with me. it was softer than a baby's skin, then my head sunk into the pillow like it was nothing.

anywho, slept and woke up like 12, Vera was awake making noise on her fone. dont know how she could do that, after a long nite she still woke up early to make noise. bullshitted for a while, cheered Vera on as she cleaned the cooler. (YEAH i got front row seats to see Vera in her most vulnerable state) her house was not the way it normally was and my ears nearly got filled up with how she wants to clean and how her house was a nose sore. then kata kata burst, the garbage dispenser got clogged and it wont work. short story long i acted as a plumber, you all know plumbers do more jobs around the house than their job description states.

long story short, Vera and i finally recycled our love and its built on a cooler of isi-ewu. more stuff happened but i'm too lazy to keep typing. maibe i'll get to them soon, B4 i forget, vera and i are buying funmie butt implants, she tried to disrespect mine(she cant compete with vera's) and found out she got nothing on me.

talking about ass, for those of you who wanted me to take pictures of vera backside and face. let me just put it this way, i'm sorry to disappoint you but i didnt get them, their was no way i could have. plus the way vera kept rubbing my head anytime she walked by me b4, during and after the party made me loose my sense of &*^%^$%#$#$%^&^ (feel free to fill in)

anywho, i don tire make i go find food, hungry is happening to me.

HAPPY ESTHER TO ALL MY CHRISTIAN PEOPLE!

update!

2007-03-30T19:20:00.000-04:00

hey womanbeings and manbeings. how una dey o? hope y'all good people are doing great and you all not so good people .... all well. i've been aiight. keeping myself sane as always. i've not been able to post up jhud's beyonce diss song but yall can go on youtube and type in UPSTAGE YOU and voila be ready to get ur ribs cracked over and over again. this time tomorrow i'll be in baltimore with miss vera and her peeps. not to worry y'all u have a nice rep to go represent you guys. i can eat for more than one person. i'll try to dance for more than one person. and i'll sure be glad to help upgrade ur software with stuff that went down.

as per my woman bruhaha. it is well! thats all i can say. soon enough u'll hear about it. including the scenes that i would normally delete. make i go this isi-ewu woman house go remind am about my order tomorrow morning. i no wan hear story say the goat head jump comot from pot begin dey make noise o.

ms DBL is in naija. i was gonna ask her a favor but who knows she might have plans of her own. was gonna havve her $%^&*&*(())_)%^&&&***(**&*%^$#@@@@#%^()( for me but all well. make i leave story for another day. hopefully she is doing ok cos i havent spoken with her yet.

moving on, i wanna go to ireland or london in may but damn tickets damn flippking high. make we see sha. i might hook myself up with a sugar mummy at vera's party so maibe she'll make that her first project.

anywho i dey go jare enough talk for one sitting. i'll be back with more. dont forget to go to youtube and check out the UPSTAGE YOU clip i talked about earlier.

random mouthing

2007-03-19T18:26:00.000-04:00

hey my people, make una no vex o. i've been trying to put up my much talked about jhudd, beyonce diss song. but this shockwave thing abi wetin dem dey call am sef, no gree me. maibe i'll try a lil more and if i cant i'll jsut have to whitemail it to y'all to listen to.

other stuff, orisirisi has been happening o, between this northeast weather changing from nice to freezing every 3days and my practicing dance moves i'd use to sweeps vera's grandma off her feet. then with the side dish of this united nations state i am in.(yes i said united nations and i'll explain when i get the chance to) but be sure its about this state of woman bruhaha that i've been hinting you guys about lately.

so it is official i am on my way to baltimore for vera's grandma's party already. cherub is going to NSBE so i'll be attending as single as a dollar bill. i was gonn use her as my handbag b4 but i realised why take sand to the beach when theres enough sand at the beach. short story long, cherub can go to pittsburg and ohio, i'll be in baltimore doing my own "engineering project"(wink wink)

anywho, i also heard the most hilarious 911 call last week while driving to work. i'll check and see if i can find some audio clip for it. if not i'll type out the dialogue between the caller and the 911 operator for y ou guys to read. na GOD talk say make olopa no stop me for overlaughing on the highway.

anywho, make i go nourish something. i'll be back for my blogrounds later.

ICEPICK! where my heart used to be...

2007-03-08T21:52:00.000-05:00

enjoy...

Naming Places...

2007-03-03T23:09:00.000-05:00

this has been the long minute i have had between blog entries since i bought my house in blogville. orisirisi has been going on beside the scene, most of it i cant throw on here yet cos its not ripe enough. anywho, body still dey inside cloth, but as usually during one of the silent minutes i had while i was MIA, this came up and i thot to seek wat you all think.

have you ever wondered how places get their names or how certain places got their names. I could assume places like new england, new york, were most likely named by the first settlere who crossed the big water to the new world, most likely from west europe, thus they named their new homeland as a reminder of where they originally came from.

theres a place on slanting island called snake hill, first thot after hearing the name snake hill might be that its infested or was infested by snakes. but driving up or down snake hill and the way the road meanders makes u think u r doing the snake dance.

anywho moving on, u probaby be wondering where this talk of names if taking me to right. not to worry i'll let u in on it soon. i've come up with some reason for some names, somewhere like buffalo,ny might have been named cos tehre used to be a large buffalo population, a place like great kills (another place on slanting island), jamaica,ny might have been named for numerous reasons i'm not willing to find out.

but of all the names and places whose names get me into the wonder wonder mode, nothing gets me in the wonder wonder mode like the names of some places in new jersey. some names in NJ, are so thot provoking that it has provoked my thots past its limit.

OK take for excampdle, names like ESSEX county, MIDDLESEX county, i cant help but think that those places had enough redlight districts for them to be named such, even sometimes when i hear SOMMERSET sp. county, it sounds more like SUMMERSEX county to me, but going by my buffalo, ny or my snake hill theories, am i free to assume that SEX really had something to do in the naming of those places.

i'll be back later with more of my thinkings.. i'll make updating my blog a lot regular than it was in february.

its been a long minute

2007-02-18T09:21:00.000-05:00

its been a long micronanomicromini second i've updated this piece of contraption. no be my fault o. i wasnt feeling too good for a minute, then my non eating and sleeping demons called so i had to focus on getting them back on track. doctor cherub actually helped out as always,(I OWE U A PACK OF CHOCOMILO) aside from that i've been deep freezing in the northeast like everyother person who go hit with the deep freeze of the past minute. anywho, i am back and havent felt this good for a minute now.

more talk, everyone has been trying to hook my up and play MATCHdontCOME in my life lately, actually some people have been at it for a minute. they relaxed for a while and now that i'm as single as a dollar bill again (or so i would like to assume cos these days u never know, u might have been married off without u knowing) i've been getting requesteseses from left right and center. "engineerAyo theres this chicki know u would gbadun" "chiefo theres this hottie i want to hook u up with""engineerAyo chick this, engineerAyo chick that"
and i'm not complaining o. nnbanu (my igbo is rusty like the guys from radiator springs) thats far from it. the koko is that, these people unknowingly try to hook me up with each other.miss A would call, engineerAyo, when last did u call missB? u know she is a nice chick. why u no enter her runs now?then miss B would call a lil while later, engineerAyo, u r still single, i said i want to hook u up with miss A u dey do like slacker. na wa for u o.
even ate LEE aka AFROPINAY wants to hook me up with a pinoy chick. (ate LEE i know who HE is, i know where HE is, and i know why u want to know about pinoy restaurante in MD)

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!(but dont bet ur dollar on it)

and innocent me would just stay there and smile like i always do.even my coworkers are not left out. any new hire these days, they want me to test the waters if they had their way. anyway NO LONG THING.

on other news, YB emailed me on valentino day and the valentino message kinda sorta started off some reaction in my head that i couldnt explain. anywho, God dey! "WHAT IF?"

missdbl is vexing for me although i didnt mean it that way. i knew i should have done wat she expected of me, but i just never got the chance to. we hadnt spoken for more than a short minute since i started, and didnt get to talk about it and all. i know i should have at least called and left u a message and all though. I AM GUILTY 150%.

i picked up a flat tire on friday in the below freezing cold weather we have in the northeast. i dont know how i pulled it off but one minute i was driving like a normal person, the next minute i was in the african store and the next minute i was back on the road only to hear some click click on my wheely. i got to my friends stepped out and did a quick check noticed i was loosing air, a closer look and voila this was wat i picked up...

its been taken care of now though, after these nonsense reep offs made me pay a whole $20+tax and some other cowshit like that, just to get one simple good for nothing flat fixed. if not for God na donut i for dey carry around, i for do strong head no pay the $20.

"Poetic Justice"

2007-01-31T22:21:00.000-05:00

i have always known that letting out our inner demons most times help us heal or somewhat help put those demons in check. some do it by blogging, some by lashing out at everything around them, some by talking to people about it, some by messing with people (vera) and some by writting poetry. i tend to do some of the aforementioned but still i find out i have more to let out. i guess i have more held up in me than i actually thot.
been reading the unconfusing posts confusednaijagirl had put up since the short minute ago she started blogging, particularly the culture of silence blog post. dont know what or how but it got me thinking about naija, its society and how they take things like this with less than a grain of salt.
anywho, while running thru newspapers this morning, one in particular caught my detention. its headline read,"POETIC JUSTICE" and i was like these slanting island paparazzi people don come again o. KI LO TUN DE? (meaning, whats it this time?) reading on, it then dawned on me, there more to this than just a newspaper headline.
said, story was about how a traumatized -slanting island girl who was sexually abused by her FAMILY FRIEND three years ago- finally broke her silence by letting out demons from her being in the form of a heartbreaking poem and handing it in to her teacher. who acted right and thus got the 48 years old man arrested.
her distressing cry for help, which was submitted as a school homework assignment led to the arrest of her assaulter. the poem wasnt published but excerpts from the poem she wrote is what i retyped below.

"As i lay in bed with tears in my eyes all i could do is ask myself, why?"

she went further...

"He told me if i told anyone, he would beat me"
"No matter what, i'm scared no one would believe me"
"I said NO and screamed for help, but pain was all i felt"
"He touched me and forced me to do things i didnt want to do"
"A loving father is what he's supposed to be"
"But instead he's a rapist that just raped me"
"So as i lay in bed with tears in my eyes"
"all i could do is ask myself, why, oh why?"

reading this and trying to put it together the way she had put it in her homeowrk assignment, i cant help but feel the hurt the lil girl must be feeling. for some reason i dont know, i'm forced to think what if it is someone i know, what if its someone close to me. why do people act like goats who would run after their own offspring.

i dont know wat conclusion to give this piece, the hurt i feel cannot be compared to what the victims feel but it even hurts more to think of how many young nigerian girls are living with this DEMON perfectly engraved in their systems.

make i comot this blog b4 my own demons show face this nite. CAIO like my italian friends would say.

birthday

2007-01-26T08:34:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LIL' SISTER!

HAVE A TWO_DA_FUL BIRTHDAY!

come to slanting island make we go nourish serious nourishment of your choose on my bill.

what if....

2007-01-26T00:14:00.000-05:00

its been a long road, my short long life has had its ups and not so up moments. sometimes i wonder what if i had done some things differently. what would the outcome of the permutation and combination be. well i cant say for sure what the outcomes would have been but i sure know i'm totally ok with the way things turned out.

...what if on that faithful day, at age 18, i had signed up to join the marines on that faithful day at the American embassy in lagos. today i might just be getting outta service like my cousin did late last year and now studying to become a fashion guru.

...what if i had gone the way of some of my buddies and had joined them in science class. taking physics istead of finance, taking chemistry instead of commerce, taking further maths instead of accounting. who knows maibe i might have patented a pen that would do our course work and exams.

...what if i had given a lil more attention to sports, i might have gone on to become a professional athlete like david beckham or an henry.

...what if my music teacher in junior high was not such a boring, talent killing fellow, i might have been the next mozart or perhaps some music genius.

...what if i had picked literature over geography, and read shakespare's julius ceasar and macbeth, instead of map reading, landforms, and ocean currents. who knows i might be a better writer than i am now and not watch the discovery channel and national geographic all day.

...what if i was the last child in the family, would i be as spoilt as people expect last born children to be? or would i be who i am now, the only male child yet, i'm not anywhere close to being spoilt. or so i think.

anywhose on that note, i'd like to wish my darling lil sister, SHERIFAH, YESIDE, OYINDAMOLA, ADUFE, (last name withheld) a HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY. i've known you all your 24 years in this world and i could not ask for any other lil sister than you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL' SIS... MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME THROUGH.

This is to many more years of you being an INSPIRATION to many people and to yourself. This is to many more years of you making me take you on shopping sprees on my bill. This is to many more years of you being my lil sister. MAY ALL YOUR WISHES AND ASPIRATIONS BE YOURS. AMIN.

cheers! with a glass of ice tea which has been driven thru long island...

numerous talkings

2007-01-23T19:48:00.000-05:00

hey people, how una dey? kilon wassup? ke du? ba wo ni? ya ya de? i dont have much to blog about o. i just had to put stuff up all in the name of updating.

y'all guess wat happened to me today. the one and only green eyed yellow girl called me at 4 o'clock this afternoon, problem is, she has never called me earlier than 10pm b4 since i've known her. i didnt know whether to be scared and run like fire on the mountain. anyway, i was like vera how now? next thing she starts making passes at me. that one made me even more scared cos vera and I no dey use eye see. anyway long story short, she opened up to me that she was buttering me up cos of diamond hawks threat to search for her picture. damn i knew all that buttering up wasnt for nothing. anyway vera, u r still the only blue fish in my fish tank so i would treat u nicely till i find another blue fish.

moving on...i finally started sleeping and eating all over again. yeah i know i didnt tell you guys. i had not been eating neither had i been sleeping. last night i slept close to 7hours with lil or no break in transmission. i had made up my mind on friday while driving back from maryland, that not eating or sleeping wasnt an option. so if what it takes is for me to drink nyquil at night just so i could sleep. i'll be glad to get back to my sleeping ways. my eating, well all i'll do is think of mama eda( aka mama engineerAyo) and how she would sit beside me with EBA STICK while growing up and voila the plate is empty. ask cherub about me, she knows food and I are like twinces. so for me not to eat was a big concern for me. plus i actually lost weight, my lil self lost even more pounds.
anyways i'm getting back to my eating ways and in case y'all need someone to invite over for dinner, i'll be glad to do u a favor and honor ur call. i'll lend you a helping mouth...

i got a wedding notice in the mail today, my italian friend is getting married in september. she cant wait to see my ghanian friend and I throw it down that day plus I owe her a dance too cos i gave her a raincheck a while back and she is going to redeem it that day.

my space

2007-01-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

you gave me reason to be happy
you gave me reason to smile
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE

you made me a better person
you gave me reason to care
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE

you made me treat myself different
you made me grin from ear to ear
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE

you gave me someone to care for
you gave me something to live for
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE

you showed me parts of me i never knew existed
you showed me what i should do different
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE

you gave me a reason to give my 100%
you made me open up to a fourth person other than ME, MYSELF n I
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE

we were friends before this long minute passed
we will remain friends now that the long minute has passed
you dont have to feel bad about everything and anything
i should have known not to leave MY SPACE

it was fun sharing MY SPACE with you
i can still remember how it started
...but i should have stayed in MY SPACE
scrap all that you just read... i still share MY SPACE with you

i'm happy i shared MY SPACE with you
thanks for sharing MY SPACE with me

ONB's TAG

2007-01-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

this is in honor of ONB and her TAG! all these people who read her blog and wont do her tag.

1.) How old were you the first time? too young
2.) Name of your first? errmmmm she is isomewhere in the north east
3.) Good or Bad? hmmm! cant remember, think it was one of those things we rushed in and out of.
4.) Name of the worst and why? hmmmm dont know
5.) Name of the best and why? she knows herself, she knows she is.
6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? the place dont count in my books
7.) Favorite Position: dont know if it has a name, cant describe it for y'all either.
8.) Ever fake an orgasm? do guys have orgasms?
9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? do guys have orgasms?
10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? dont have a time table
11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? hmmm i'll be back make i rewind recount am.
12.) Same person? why not
13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? hmmmmmmm isnt that cheating...
14.) Restrictions during sex? ...depends on what the definition of restrictions is
15.) Accessories? i know where planet pleasure is on slanting island but i've never used any of their merchandise b4. plus are there any accessories for guys?
16.) What? WATER!
17.) Done it in the rain? does a wet body make the cut?
18.) Done it in a car? why not just hold the adrenalin till u get behind the door
19.) Had a Threesome? dont share
20.) Want to have sex now? nahhh

think think

2007-01-12T23:34:00.000-05:00

i've read some blog posts and comments on how people advocate orisirisi. i've seen people beat their chests harder than king kong all in support of NO SEXUAL HEALING TILL MARRIAGE....but being the deep thinker that i am. i start to think, i start to think think....if what is right is no sex b4 marriage, then wat happens to my neighbour ms white who got divorced a lil minute ago. now she is seeing mr. marker. would you say she has to wait to get married to mr marker b4 she can get her kerewa on. cos technically she married innit. she has fulfilled that requirement or maibe its just me. opinions needed abeg...

disgruntled shirt

2007-01-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

i dey vex o! i dey vex!
somebody beg me b4 i overvex!
i dey vex o! i dey vex!
no i'm not loosing it. i'm having a serious case of hypervexing like someone whose girlfriend just got stolen from him. this is matter of emergency someone contact the department of houseland security.
you wonder why i'mn over vexing right! its simple as ABC. i washed my awesome shirt today o, and b4 i could say shokolokobangoshe, the black color from the shirt had messed up the white cuffs and collar. i am so totally outraged (i sound like a white boy) about this its not even funny. i am mechanically and systematically confused about what to do with this expensive play this thing has caused. its so bad that u wont have to get close to me to realize that someting about my shirt isnt right. this is a serious case of shirt malfunction.
i am at a motor crossroad on wat to do with my shirt, the options are these:
1. throw the shirt in the trash after only wearing it one time.
2. take it to the cloth engineer(tailor) and have them take out the white part of the collar and i could always fold in the cuffs when i wear it.
3. go back to the store where i bought it and demand a refund and throw a tantrum while i'm at it. (after somn like 4 months)
4. just go out and buy more shirts.

now i'm scared to wear the all white one because i cant help but think of the possibility of the white washing against the white collar and cuffs. thats how traumatized i am.

on a non-vexing note, 2007 is just in its second week and things have started showing signs of them getting better. i finally went to see auntyD in amityville (bijou dont even open ur mouth there) after almost 5years. i told you 2007 is going to be different. and yes, talking about different, i've been called Akon by some people and i've been called seal(without the scars) by others all within 2weeks of 2007. hmmmmm thats a good start right. even my cousin couldnt help but rub my head when i got this not so new look of mines. BALD NUDE HEAD ... which had always been my style only this time i have decided to add on a goatee instead leaving my face nude as always. i dont know if thats wats been making people comment. at some point some lady(married) that i was talking to at work started asking orisirisi questions about igba awo koko baba ishasun (rusty yoruba). anyways i'll be back to blog about my amittyville trips, meeting omodudu and bijouxoxoxoxoxo.

2006...

2007-01-03T08:58:00.000-05:00

i know 2007 is 3 days old and is already clocking puberty. i just cant move on without rewinding 2006 for a last quick lil minute.

In 2006, i became of blogger. its been fun thus far. i've met quite some crazy bunch. read comments that made me think, read some that made me look sane, and i actually put up some comments that made me look even more insane than i thot i was. but all well its all part of what makes bloggers, bloggers.

In 2006, i got reconnected with humpty(my buddy from highschool), we hardly ever see each other cos he lives in jersey even though slanting island is just a bridge crossing away, i need to fix that in 2007.

In 2006, i met missDBL, she is awesome peoples. she brought out a better me that i didnt know really existed. you showed me the color of love, i really appreciate that a truch load much.

In 2006, i moved on to life after college, which is sure filled with a lot of ups and downs. it has given me a couple of headaches and brainaches but i sure will get past all that in 2007.

In 2006, i also learnt never to make someone my priority when to them i'm just an option. yeah, i know i shoulda known that long ago. i actually did know but then some things make you forget some things.

In 2006, close to its end that is, i had a lot of things, emotions, ati be be lo bottled up inside me. a change in 2007 would be that i'll say stuff out more often that way i wont have a close call like i did in 2006 where i almost did a Flambé
recipe with my system.

In 2006, i made a lot more trips to the masjid(mosque) than i made previously and i'm improving my stats in 2007. Insha Allah.

In 2006, i lost my uncle, and would do as much as i can to help out my cousins whom he left behind. So help me God.

In 2006, i became a lot more vocal. i think that was cos people saw me as somewhat a quiet pushover. lil did they know that the volcano in my being was being forced not to erupt. i even went past my all time high of 2005 which was when i went to naija and "friends" expected me to be the always quiet ME who they always tended to get away with murder with. i was referred to as being a loud person but i was only letting my voice be heard.

In 2006, i kept family away for too long a time. i'm sorry mum for not calling as often as u want me to call. i'm sorry dad for calling u only once in 3months, i'm sorry 'Mo(my niece) for not always calling even though u ask after me from ur mum all the time, to my sisters, i'm sorry i dont always call, although y'all take time out to call ur only brother. i'm sorry uncleseses and auntieseses for never calling to see how y'all are doing but i do ask after u from mum whenever i call though. i'm sorry Timi, wale and sherry for not calling or emailing u often, you all still are my most awesome cousins. and thanks for taking care of bashir ur lil brother. lil man donn grown now.

In 2007, FAMILY COMES FIRST, i'm going to make calling yall and keeping in touch with y'all my hobby. i'm not promising cos i dont promise. but when i say i'll do something i would. for starters, i've called mama eda (my mum) twice in 2007 already, i've called baba eda(dad) once, called a couple of uncles and would be calling my niece miss 'Mo this weekend. we need to have uncle and niece bonding. did i tell u all she asked when i was coming home. yeah she did, miss 'Mo misses me yet i dont call her often enough. thats all going to change in 2007.

random yarning

2006-12-29T12:24:00.000-05:00

sup all u woman beings, i know there is a warrant out for my arrest for not updating my blog for a long minute now. no be my fault o, it is laziness mixed with a whole bunch of things thats been keeping me away from blogvilla.
anywho, hope u guys ahd a nice xmas, mines was BORING. but its about to be spiced up. bijou is coming to the big apple. she is meeting up with some of her friends. we probably would hang out and all. maibe go dancing, salsa, techno, zouk, soukous, ati be be lo. bijou wants an owambe to go to but unfortunately i'm not an owambe person. talking about bijou and her coming to the big apple, abeg u all should warm bijou o. she is trying me! she is seriously trying me! she has refused to organized some nice shrimp fried rice when she comes and to think i was about to make her a deal. the deal is that i'll supply her with ingredients for pepper soup and even supply myself to PA to fix her the pepper soup and she dey use me do shakara. u guys should warm her o! cos if i vex ehnnn. if i vex ehnnn. i wont even tell u wat i'll do.

now that i have that off my mind. i have been listen to too much awilo longomba lately. its kinda my driving soundtrack. then i mix it up with dbanj and eldee. anyway i'll be fine, all these inner melons(thots and issues) trying to hold me down shall not be given the dark of nite not to even talk about the light of day.

so until i come ur way again, i remain engineerAyo. the adopted step-grandson of the idi of idi araba.

PS: i intend to do a 2006 recap b4 the end of the year so help me God.

5 wierd thingies about me.............................NOT!

2006-12-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

I cant believe i'm doing this tag. Vera the next time you tag me abeg make sure its something i'd do and get paid doing it. if not,"dont even ask to bother" tagging me.
OK 5 OR MORE WIERD AND NOT SO WIERD THINGS ABOUT ME.
unce---
i smile all the time and i'm always in an upbeat mode. this isnt a problem but fact is even when i'm pissed i'll still be shining my teeth like i just brush them in 3weeks.
twice...
i wear my wristwatch on my right hand, it started when i got my first wristwatch some 18somn years ago and never looked back ever since. i dont eat cold food, not for nothing but if its not blazing hot, i cannot eat. finish cooking now and when i want to eat some half hour from now, i'd have to macrowave the thing b4 i can eat watever it is.
thrice...
i used to put ketchup on my pizza, dont know why but it kinda sorta tasted better that way. but now that i found gino's villa monte pizza. i dont need no ketchup cos that pizza is the hot shit. moving on, i also wont eat SALATU for anything (maibe some couple of million dollars might change that) but till then i REFUSE TO EAT SALATU (salad) no matter wat shape, size, texture, form, figure, brand or color it comes. i guess my not eating salad has to do with the fact that i dont eat cold food, and since i cannot warm it up with and it still same afterwards, its a no go area. i still owe missDBL a salad orgy and i sure would honor the raincheck when she decides to redeem it. only u could make me eat SALATU.
forice...
i always have two pairs of socks on. dont wear one for anything. i wear sweatpants under my pants during the winter cos i hate thermal wear pants. i wear my wristwatch for 23hrs 40minutes everyday. i've been sleeping with socks on for almost 13 years now.
fivice...
i tend not to accept gifts from people, very few times i have accepted birthday gifts, sometime i dont even expect gifts sef. i dont ask people whether enemy, friends, family or wateverumacallit for money even if i know i'll get it and might not need to pay it back.

THANKS FOR READING....

where is the KOKO?

2006-12-14T20:28:00.000-05:00

nice music videos, enjoy!

Mr. Biggs is a Naughty Man

2006-12-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

"Mr. Biggs is a Naughty Man" those were the words of my 4 year old niece (call her lil miss 'Mo) on one of the battle of the titans she had with her mum and dad. ok it all happened some months ago, my mum and my second mum were going out to XYZ (girls day out) and lil miss 'Mo was bent on tagging along. they didnt have a problem with it but her parents (my sister and her husband) didnt want her to go, their reason being she had school the next day or somn close enough. but b4 they could say shokolokobangoshe, lil miss 'Mo had takena nice shower, was dressed to kill and waiting for "ganma and ganma doto" thats wat she calls them.
anyways, time came for them to leave, my sister and her husband still bend on derailing her plans out tagging along, sprung into action.
parents: 'Mo dont go you know u have XYZ and XYZ to do
'Mo: sad faced, no reply, just keeps walking out the door.
parents: we'll take you to the zoo (she loves animals)
'Mo: zoo, (tempted but no thanks) N0.
parents: we'll take you to Mr. Biggs.

then she dropped the bombshell that broke the deadlock, she won the battle no questions asked.

'Mo: No o! i dont like Mr. Biggs! Mr. Biggs is a naughty man!

i guess all you adults didnt know that, did you? u better start thanking my niece, for finding out who mr biggs really is and what kinda man he actually is too. all you mr biggs craving adults in blogville.
from that point on my sister and her husband had no more firepower to conquer this determined lil angel. because for her to disown Mr. Biggs in this hard time meant she had to go with "ganma and ganma doto" at all cost.

on the way back after their "girls trip" she looked at my mum and second mum and she asked, "Are we still going to Mr. Biggs?" the looked at each other and both said, i thought you said Mr. Biggs was a naughty man. but no anymore, she had accomplished what she wanted so why not try to push buttons just in case she could get some meat pie, ice cream and all the other good stuff, because Mr. Biggs might not be so naughty afterall.

and on this note, i have decided to do vera's tag the next time out.

have a nice day you all, and stay away from mr biggs, dont ask me why.

naija on blast

2006-12-08T23:03:00.000-05:00

i was going to blog about some good stuff. but the abcnews report on scammers made nigeria kinda changed my blog route. for the record if u hear from the streets that i'm from benin republic please dont be surprised, na condition make cray fish bend. its not like i'm pissed or surprised at the report. the thing just caught me on the wrong foot and all.

i'll be back later to blog about everything and everything i had intended to blog about initially. but in case you didnt see the report click on me http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2705157
or me
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2711477

running mouth!

2006-12-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

how has ur weekend been so far? mine has been work work work (i need some distraction, abeg u, any takers?) anywho i just got back from JFK. the sight of people travelling brought up thots of how my xmas would be boring being in this NYC. i took my second mum to the airport. yes, i have two mums and no, she is not my step mum. two weeks ended faster than i could say shokolokobangoshe. the last two weeks have been fun though, although my sister had more fun with her than i did. work work work is all i do. simple english, a trip to JFK made the reality of not going to naija sink in deeper than i sank my teeth into this meatpie. what makes it worse is that i'm working against my wish and under duress for that matter. anyway i go beta we go buy toyota.

i need help. i've started bottling things up again and i fear the next melt down might hurt more than i can handle. been searching for my outlet valve for some days now but i cant find it. i need to find it soon b4 kinikon and kiniyi starts to happen to me. anyways, i'll be fine.

veruchka ezimora has tagged me again. i wonder when she would understand that sharing pain is not the right way to show affection. or should i call it inflicting pain cos she obviously aint feeling the pain. i can only complain this much though, cos one thing i know is thats what makes her who she is.

have a nice nite y'all. i need to go sauté my soul with the moin moin my second mum made b4 she left for naija. when i'm done, I'LL HAVE A REASON TO SOW! (translate the last phrase to yoruba and you'll be glad you did)

have a nice week y'all.

over my hangover

2006-12-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

yes o, its unofficially official! i finally recovered from my thanksgiving hangover. not like i over nourished or anything o but for some reason i've been having this severe case of excusitis which has been holding me back from blogging.

anywho, people never seem to amaze me with the kinda things they do or say. i've come in contact with a lot of orisirisi people in this my simple life. i've met those that are willing to download their life history to u within a few minutes of meeting u and leaving no stones unturned at detailing things. anywho thats not the koko thats amazing me today neither is it their asking me why u have to put gasoline inside a generator and why not have an "electric" electric generator. anywho i hope that kinda gave all y'all a lil insight into the kinda people i meet on a daily basis.

anywho, i met this lady today who wants to buy a treadmill for her DOG! yes, you read right, her DOG! said dog is a 3month old german shepherd who weights over 70lbs, doesnt eat dog biscuits (healthy foods only, i.e. carrots, apples et all). she says scoobydoo has too much energy, is growing fast (might grow up to 150lbs) and she cannot keep up with scooby whenever she takes scooby for a walk. long story short, she is willing to cuff out $600.00 for a treadmill for scoopy to keep in shape(damn dog got a xmas gift already while vera is still here hoping and praying to get somn). her words went somewhat like,"i'll use it to tire him out b4 i take him for a walk that way i wont have to chase after him." all i could say is some dogs got it good. but then i'm not surprised cos i've seen people push their dogs in strollers and something close to a baby carriage

happy thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T00:20:00.000-05:00

hey yall, i havent been on here in a minute. i've been running around in circles trying to catch my turkey o. it tried to run away from but i finally got it on lock down now. that means i'll be having a turkey orgy tomorrow. sad i cant eat too much cos i'll have to be awake earlier than early on friday cos i got to be at work by 4.45am. DAM BO RO BA SHEGE! THIS COUNTRY NA NONSENSE!

if you'll fOOk HER in the ass, show some respect, KISS HER first damn it!

2006-11-16T01:23:00.000-05:00

i'm not a rape victim but i know of a certain miss lady who got gang raped.
growing up, i watched, same as every chidi, dele, and mustafa, as you all took turns on her like the village bicycle. you all gang raped her, sucked out all the useful life in her milk factory till they made rotten paw paw feel like there was hope.

you all gang raped her, passing her round like she was ur birth right, family inheriatnce and whateverumacallit. people cautioned u by saying she wasnt just for a select few, but you threw caution to the wind and tried to play god among men.

you all gang raped her, by lying thru ur teeth, saying u were doing such and such in her best interest, tell me how and when did, dropping the soap in a male prison bathroom become a good thing for (BEST INTEREST OF) the new comers on the block.

you all gang raped her, till the roaster got back to somewhat of a starting point. but this time out the rape wasnt done by all. some abstained, some didnt finish, while some just didnt care and simply continued from where they had stopped but this time it included her children and childrens childrens children.

numerous years have passed since she began trying to heal the woulds of ur actions, its been a really rough road i must say. dele, chidi and mustafa have come of age, they have been joined by imabong, danladi, ekaete, kokosari, uchechukwu, ekamma, babawande, lagbaja, tamedu, lakashegbe, bala, and many more. and just when she thought she had finally come of age and was responding to therapy, we find out that kasali, mohammed, ifeayi who all lost family during one or more of the rape sessions are out there urging the rapists on, to come back and finish the "GOOD WORK THEY STARTED"

yeah fellow bloggers, some of u might have figured who the rapists are and who the victims are already. but if u havent then ask ur next door neighbour who knows. if not, i'll as well tell u...

i'm talking about that country south of the sahara, north of the equator just right around the corner, across the atlantic ocean. it hurts to think of happenings this way and i tried as much as i could to hold back a lot, but hopefully i let out enough to make my system balanced. this now brings me back to the title of the blog post.

how long would NIGERIA be held against her will and get gang fOOked in the A$$ by prison guards (no good leaders) and their supporters who have sold their birth right for a bottle of odeku and a plate of nkuobi. even if they are going to rape NIGERIA over and over and over and over, at least THEY SHOULD SHOW SOME RESPECT AND KISS HER FIRST B4 FOOKING HER IN THE A$$.

EngineerAyo take a deep breath and say WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday Y.B.

2006-11-15T10:50:00.000-05:00

hey y'all its YB's birthday today. i think she'll be some 20 somn years old now. she actually thot i had forgotten imagine. i know its been 8 years or less but then 8years aint enough to forget a birthdate is it. called to wish her a happy birthday and she was shocked i still remembered. asking me who told me and all that rice and beans. all well there are some things i forget, there are some i want to forget, and there sure are some i cant forget.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y.B....

I dont feel for u the way i used to...dont u just get it

2006-11-15T01:27:00.000-05:00

first we were buddies
then things grew between US two.
you claimed you liked me just as liking you wasnt a bad idea...

time passed, TA came into the picture
you said he was a friend, you met thru TS
things happened questions were asked
you insisted he was "just a friend"
he picked you up from work everyday
he was still "just a friend"

anytime i called, you were either in his car on your way to or from "somewhere"
i wasnt born yesterday so i sure know bullshit when i saw one,
i didnt actually have to taste it to figure it was bullshit
he picked up ur fone a couple of times,
he asked questions and i sure answered,
to the best of my knowledge that is.

then TA left you for TS
claiming it was TS he wanted all the while not you,
you were lung broken,
you came whinning back to engineerAyo (mr. nice guy) your words were,
"EngineerAyo see what TS did to me, i cant believe both of them could do such"

you were quick to forget you had engineerAyo believe TA was "just a friend"
if he was just a friend then why the tantrum and bitter words towards them both...
you asked if i still had anything for you
my response was i dont think so, you kept on the pressure in trying to make me substitute hubby,
but my leg stand for ground gidigba...

i told you over and over, ALL WE COULD HAVE WAS NOTHING BUT FRIENDSHIP.
not because i was bitter with you,
i just didnt see myself being with you anymore.
but you kept on pestering my innocent soul.. i thot you got the message

then i met lovely missDBL
you started to beef me cos i was with her and i didnt tell u.
last time i checked i didnt have to consult you before i did anything,
but you forgot something though...
(i dont know if its engineerAyo that didnt understand the whole contraption u had but ... )

you forgot that right b4 missDBL came into the picture,
u told me about camera buying dude, (i thot u had gotten the message)
yes camera dude bought u a camera for ur birthday
being the friend i thot i was,
i told u camera dude was looking for somn more,
u insisted on him just being nice thats all.

voila two days after that
camera dude asked you to date him,
u turned camera dude down,
you shot him outta the sky even b4 he could gather altitude
due to the crashland camera dude suffered
he came back with these word,
"i cannot date you anyway cos you are not spiritual enough"
wat a comeback line from a hurt lion cub.

then you were with kay,
you claimed you werent dating
yet he waits for u to get off work so y'all could catch a movie or ten.
he buys you lunch and drops it off during ur lunch hour.
yet u kept brothering engineerAyo for something maryKAY and camera dude were available for.

and to think all this while u still were interested in engineerAyo is somewhat of a classic tale outta the daytime sponge opera's.
how was engineerAyo supposed to know to give u a twice chance(not that he thot of giving u a twice chance anyway)...
if maryKAY and camera dude were already by ur side.

soon enough u find yourself some dude,
you guys started dating and u were quick to say to engineerAyo,
"engineerAyo guess wat?"
engineerAyo not in the mood for BS was quick to cut the BS short, by saying,
I CANT GUESS SAY WAT U HAVE TO SAY...
then the sorry word came flying out,
"engineerAyo! I NOW HAVE A BOYFRIEND"

u said it with that tone that has
"are you jealous yet written all over it"
far from it, i was happy for u,
i was thinking, attention finally moved awy from me MR. DBL.
but now i can put A and B together to form AB.
all the while u kept asking about missDBL and everyother thing u asked about.
u were only looking for a way to come back into play or worse still give ur two cents back to engineerAyo make him feel he missed out on somn.
yes he missed out on getting some and moving on

all i'll say is this, i stopped feeling for u the lil i used to feel for u long before now. all i have to offer is friendship, if i offer you otherwise, i'll hurt u more than you can handle, abeg let me be SHI#KENA!

boredom and what i found

2006-11-09T18:32:00.000-05:00

NB: your perception may vary depending on how sobber you are right now.

the two pictures above helps us understand the effects of alcohol on male and female species

give me one reason why u wouldnt support research

saw this online and it just doesnt look right.

i got some of my sanity back!

2006-11-08T00:22:00.000-05:00

i finally fixed my pasta craving cells today. yes o, i've been craving pasta for like 6weeks now, if i was pregnant i'd have said it was due to the hormanal imbalance and all. but engineerAyo is nowhere near being female not to talk of being pregnant. anyways...today i specially ordered me a nice bowl (notice i didnt say plate) of pasta from gino's although my coworker brought me some macaroni pie. anywho, the pasta was awesome, i felt born twice while it lasted, not that it lasted long anyway. but it was tantalizingly awesome. next time i'll order a "ZOMBIE" to go with it, then that would really make my day. enough talk about food, FFF oshi.
i got a call today about a job opening in parsipany, NJ. at first i was hesitant about the offer cos if u know where slanting island is, u'll know that parsipany aint no stone fling away. then u factor in rush hour traffic and snow days and what do i have, a contraption called a 90minutes commute. wat! engineerAyo doesnt care o, even if its in far away kalamazoo na drive i go drive am. maibe after a short minute i might move out of slanting island where everyone seems to know someone that knows everyone that knows you, to parsipany where engineerAyo dont know nodoby. what the hell, no be this same world all of us dey.
my awesome reader, speaker of the house of representatives of the blogosphere, y'all should put me in both your serious and not so serious prayers (reason being you never know which prayer God would answer first) engineerAyo need all the prayers he could get. those of u that care to know. i'll be willing to split my paycheck with you on my own terms and conditioners.

Endangered Species

2006-11-06T17:43:00.000-05:00

are you that friend that stands by a friend during the good and not so good times...
endangered specie you are
are you that person that always listens...
endangered specie you are
are you that boyfriend/girlfriend that wont cheat even if ur life depended on it...
endangered specie you are
are you that guy or girl that would date someone not for what the person has but for who the person is...
endangered specie you are
are you that fellow that smiles no matter what breaking ball life hurls at you...
endangered specie you are
are you that fellow who would do favors without expecting anything in return...
endangered specie you are
are you that one person that makes life worth living for someone...
endangered specie you are
are you that stranger willing to sacrifice your sanity jsut so someone else could be sane...
endangered specie you are
are you that stranger that would treat a fellow stranger like yourself...
endangered specie you are
are you that person who always sees the good things about the next person...
endangered specie you are
are you an accountant who is called an engineer...
endangered specie you are
HELP SAVE THE ENDANGERED SPECIES....

sunday is today

2006-11-05T13:37:00.000-05:00

its a beautiful day out here on slanting island. the 2006 NYC marathon is today and the traffic situation is a day-mare. the slanting island expressway is pack bumper to bumper from start to finish and all the way into NJ. i had planned on going to the city today but i realised the subways are normally outta wack on weekends then factor in the marathon closures and u have chaos in the underground. anyways i have opted to stay aways from the city, the marathon and everything that comes with it.

yeah, i finally met my cousins girlfriend this weekend. she is actually at the house right now. she seems like a nice person and i think she is quiet too. all well maibe when she gets to know engineerAyo a lil better she would know that engineerAyo is also a quiet fellow (y'all didnt know that did you) but has learnt to become as playful as we come. but could still be very quiet if he wants to be. anywho, talking about my cousins girlfriend, my lil cousin is going to be a uncle soon. yes his brothers girlfriends is gonna have a baby. (i didnt mention she was pregnant right, yeah she is) she is due in march but i might be wrong cos i wasnt given the whole 411. i dont know why but all well, one more addition to the familia. one thing is, i never knew my cousin was into white chicks but then i only know this much about his choice of females anyway. cos the few GF i have met were all DUDU (yoruba word for black). enough of my talks about my cousins already.

i'll be back later, i have talks to give y'all.

something inside

2006-11-01T23:51:00.000-05:00

the last couple of days have been somewhat like sour tasting soup being pumped down my throat without having a choice of throwing it back out. i am that kinda person who doesnt allow things of his past hinder what the future would bring, but lately the past has been creeping back into my system at such a pace that it has finally started melting me from the inside out.

it would have been a different case if those that would have helped by donating their time to hear me out as i offload my gutts are there when they are needed. unfortunately they have better things to be bothered with than to be held down by engineerAyo's soul melting impurities. at some point it feels like they dont care, never cared, or stopped caring long b4 now.

i read somn on overwhelmed's blog and i left a comment, but my comment was laced with somn. her response to me was,"i sense theres stuff in you that you have to express..." i read her response and i thot about it for not so long a minute. YES I DO HAVE SOMN I HAVE TO EXPRESS. its eating me up, dont want to dig them back up but recent happenings have sparked off my deep thinking self and it was my deep thinking self that wrote this some years ago on one of those days when things just werent kosha

i have a lot of things held up inside of me.
Some in my head,
Some in my heart,
Some in my mind and thoughts.
Those in my head i use daily,
Those in my heart i cherish,
Those in my mind i think of all the time.
But people do not understand, and some just do not care.
What they do not realize is that i have something else inside that hurts deep inside.
i can not tell you but it really does hurt me deep inside.

i'm trying to fight back, but its harder now than it used to be. i guess my theory of not letting stuff out, building up heat and causing a meltdown from the inside out kinda slipped me by this time out. i have got back up though. YES, i have got back up. engineerAyo is going to start self therapy. my self therapy would be blogging my every thought whenever the need arises. make it kinda like an escape valve or release valve.

its been a long minute

2006-11-01T23:27:00.000-05:00

sup y'all, i haven't blogged in quite a long minute. its note like i dont have stuff to blog about but the fact is whenever i get to this contraption about the life of engineerAyo, i just turn around and read other peoples blogs instead. e.g. as i type i have vera, bijou, and overwhelmed's blogs opened on other windows. i came to tell y'all about the lil red capri pants and wat them pants do or did to my system and also talk about my coworkers custom made JACK DANIEL BROWNIES but thots of sunday's plane crash just keeps hopping, skipping and jumping back into my head. My friends lost their step-dad in it and we've all been kinda playing things down but we all know things alright. hopefully something would be done to the aviation sector to make it a lot safer sooner than later. and sooner than later wont be until half the population of nigeria get sacrificed. and if they dont have any solutin to it. I SAY WE SHOULD WIRE UP THE BRAINS OF OUR LEADERS AND THE TRIGGER SHOULD BE LINKED TO THE DECISIONS THEY MAKE. ANY WRONG DECISION, WRONG THOT, OR ACTION MADE SHOULD TRIGGER OFF SAID EXPLOSIVE, THUS WE HAVE ONE LESS DUMB DECISION MAKER TO WORRY ABOUT.

note: the anger i feel made me type some of the aforesaid in uppercase. anger partly caused by the happens in nigeria and by things happening in me, to me, around me, within me, ati be be lo......

my day at the DMV traffic court

2006-10-26T23:01:00.000-04:00

hmmm, where do i start? i accompanied my sister to traffic court today, we had to fight a ticket she got about two months ago. the cop gave her a ticket for no reason even after she pleaded with him and even mixed it with her sorry face. the cop no buy am o.
anywho, she pleaded not guilty. Thus, we went to court today to fight the ticket out. we got to the DMV on slanting island and she was like,"i pray that cop doesnt come to court so they could throw out the case." while we were waiting the nonsense OLOPA(cop) just appeared from nowhere o. her lungs just did a cart-wheel. but trust engineerAyo, i was like we got this. anywho, the court proceedings started and the first two cases heard by the judge were thrown out cos the olopa who gave them their tickets didnt have all his paperwork ready. then it was our turn, come and see the acceptance speech this nonsense olopa of a guy had as his paperwork. damn, was he a SUM-of-a-shit. anywho, judge asked if there were any weakness, that was where my inspector gadget skill came into play. first she asked me to step outside the hearing room, while the olopa and my sister stated their case. then some other cop called me into the hearing room and the following dialogue played out.

judge: where you a weakness to the incident
engineerAyo: yes i was.
judge: raise ur right hand
judge: do u swear to say the truth and nonthing but the truth.
engineerAyo: I DOES!
engineerAyo: on said day, my sisters car's right breaklights were out and we were on our way to get it fixed so as not to get a ticket. she also needed to pump some gas and we pulled into a gas station on the corner of vanderbilt, van duzer and richmond. she then realized she needed to use the bathroom b4 doing all this cos she was pressed and didnt wanna wait to pump gas, plus she doesnt use public bathrooms, therefore the gas station bathroom was not an option. she pulled out of the gas station and thats when she was pulled over and given a ticket. with the officer stating the reason as,"she used a gas station to avoid a red light"

at this point watever i had said had matched wat my sister had said so the officer was down by points already. the judge asked if there was more and that was a sign that the cops story was cock and bull. anyways i saved the extra stuff i had to say cos b4 i could even say anything else the the judge was like. DISMISSED! see my sister wheel herself out of the DMV faster than it took for the cop to move back to his seat.

anyways, my sister later told me that the olopa admitted that he was hidden and yada yada yada.
RULE #1 make sure u are seen, do not hide from peoples u trying to catch.
RULE #2 should be sure he got his shit straight. dont pull pople over for beating the green light.
imagine, the light he claimed we were trying to avoid was green. who on this earth would use a gas station to avoid a green light. short story long. the cop wasted our time making us go to DMV to prove ourselves.

my sister now has serious beef with slanting island cops. they got somn for her that she dont know. cos this aint the first time they writing her up for nothing.

Ranting and Rambling

2006-10-25T18:16:00.000-04:00

i dont have much happening around me at the moment, or at least nothing i would want to talk about for now. hopefully soon i would spill my gutts or forever hold my peace.

i got to work "ON TIME" today and went to drop off my coat in the locker/coat room after strolling in about 10minutes late. i was hanging up my coat and somn prompted me to look up. i noticed some shinning matter on the shelf above the coat hanger. A closer examination of the specimen, i noticed it was a chrome plated or stainless steel object. hmmmmmmmm. the detective in me made me look with keen interest. that was when i got the shocker of the morning. it turned out that the said shinny matter was nothing more than a VIBRATOR aka DILDO aka LIL'JOHN. the other fellow in the coat room was said, "its been there for a minute," and i was like for real.

i havent been in the coat room for a long minute now, cos i leave it in the car most times, but did my bringing it in today give me something to talkabout or wat? i doubt if the owner of the shinny specimen would come clean and claim her merchandise but at least its good to know that someone has been having on good time at work. those bathroom breaks must have been really satisfying, i can only imagine the smile on the persons face after every bathroom break.

hmmmmmmmmmmm! i'll sure be taking my coat to the coat room now. u never know i might meet the lucky fellow who forgot her LIL'JOHN in the coat room.

Thanks for reading y'all

sup human beings

2006-10-24T19:02:00.000-04:00

hey peoples, kilon wassup? its been a minute. i've been blog-deprived for a minute now, but i'm back. read my update about DREAM STEALERS and make sure u comment or forever hold you peace. EID-MUBARAK to all my muslim reader. May the almighty accept fasts as an act of IBADA.AMIN.

talking about fasting, not eating and all that. i think my body doesnt know wat they call lunch anymore o. abeg any doctors in the blogonostosphere should help an engineer out. i ate yesterday afternoon after 30days of not eating at said time only for me to have a stomach downset o (cos upset would be an understatement). i was fine until i ate o. only for me to finish the food workout and my belle started giving me the noises, soundtrack and whateverumacallit. right now its 7.05pm and i still cannot bring myself to go eat cos i fear imma have another round out a downsetting stomach. anywho, maibe its cos i ate a lil and my belly was expecting me to dismantle a mountain all in the name of fasting is over and i can now eat. the thing don tire me o. but if its request is for me to eat a mountain and even eat the valley plus. this belly should have simply told me that now. instead of inconviniencing me for every last sane cell in my system. anyway sha, i go beta we go buy toyota.

Dream Stealers

2006-10-24T18:20:00.000-04:00

Have you ever experienced a situation where you told someone about your dreams and aspirations in life and said person would tell you anything or go to any length to tell you how what you just told him or her is "not a good idea."

person: what do you do?
You: i'm an undergrad...
You: studying accounting and engineering or engineering finance or Language antropology
Person: rubbish! why are you studying such
you: thats what i love, my passion lies in that
Person: cant you do somn else such as integrated Yoruba
Person: people are making it in that field you know
You: Yes, i know but we all cant swim in the same river
Person: True that, i'm not trying to discourage you or anything but....

i know we have all heard this or had such dialogue at one time or the other in our not so young lives. but closely examining these people, one would realise they havent done much with themselves, you could argue that, thats the reason why ther are saying such, they are only advising you (trying to steer us in the right path) but i beg do be a rebel against that opinion. one thing is for you to advise me another thing is for you not to have anything positive to say about whatever goals and aspirations i have or have planned for myself. there is a not so crooked line between hateration and bad belle.

people like said fellow, in my books are simply referred to as DREAM STEALERS! Their being dream stealers dont mean that they would discourage you from whatever idea you have come up with and then turn around and take your idea and use it to their benefit. NO! totally not the case. they are DREAM STEALERS in that they dont have anything good or positive to offer as an alternative to whatever dream you have for yourself. they are thieves who try to rub u of ur dreams by negating whatever dreams you have planned.

Do i hear you say,"BUT ITS ONLY A DREAM!" Yes! i totally agree with you on that. but i'll also add that, DREAMS ARE WHAT FUELS THE PROGRESS OF MANKIND." if people b4 now didnt dream who knows whether we would still be eating raw uncooked meat. if the explorers of old didnt dream of reaching the end of the world, we might not have discovered the different civilizations present in the world today. if sailors has not dreamt of a far away beautiful virgin land there would have not beed expeditions into the unknown that brought about the discovery of the numerous and less known places that were found during these quests for the beautiful virgin land.

My word to you on all this is for you to follow your dreams, never allow someone or anyone to put your dream down as being inferior or impossible especially if that person doesnt have anything better to contribute or give as an alternative. stand tall, follow your dream, i might also add that sometimes it might only be a dream but you would never know if its just a dream if you dont follow it far enough to realize what it really is. on a final note...BEWARE OF THE DREAM STEALERS WE HAVE AMONG US.

thanks for reading

My first Ghanian party

2006-10-19T14:33:00.000-04:00

Hello, man-beings and woman-beings of the blogosphere. i know its been a minute i updated this blog of mine. u guys wont be mad at me for one second. i was getting over somn that was kinda new to me. I EXPERIENCED MY FIRST GHANIAN PARTY!
yes o, i was invited to a ghanian party o. my friend told me almost a month ago so i could have excused myself from not going. i found out a whole bunch of my passies were going so i tagged along too.
i picked my friends, AA, OE and L up at about 10.15. we got there at 10.30pm thinking we were late, to our surprise we were the third or forth group of people to land. picked a sit, waited and waited, while we waited, we got to gisting and cracking up ourselves cos the boredom had started to creep in. anyway the couple who were naming their baby strolled in at about 12midnite. i thot nigerians were the only ones who started their owambe's (parties) late but this one gave a run for our money. after the owners of the party had arrived, i thot the whole thingie was going to start in good time, but was i wrong. i took another half hour for it to start, one the MC wasnt there yet. it was my friends dad who stepped in and all. multitasking as a cameraman and MC, the MC later arrived.
anywho, the thingie went on slowly and the next thing i heard was that they wanted the mama and papa of the baby to come and dance. my friend L was like how are they gonna dance without serving nohin and all. lil did he know that he was in for a shocker. anywho, they danced and soon enough there was soda being served and liquor was on display. L became happy after seeing the liquor but he was still waiting for item number 7. back on track, soda was served, snacks were served, stickmeat (kebab) was served. but my fellow naija people and i were still waiting for the real item number 7. a long minute later, MC asked everyone to come dance and whoever had gifts for the baby should go drop it off and so so and so spot. (we didnt have no gift cos we didnt even know wat the party was for, no be our fault now). people started dancing and i must say ghanian music is nice. at first people were reluctant to get up. then my passies and I stormed the dance floor. come and see how we overtook the whole place with our dance moves. its not easy u know. anywho we danced a lil more, but cos we all had work the next morning, we had to leave early thats when we got to know that item number 7 was to be taken away, with a bottle of sparkling cidar abi wetin be the name again sef. anywho, we said our goodnites and my friends dad was like who is driving? since my friend had made a couple of rounds to the liquor stand. anywho, i was the designated driver. short story long, i saw my friends mum the next day"she also attended the party" and she was like,"wat time did we leave?", "the party was boring" and i was like we left around 2.30am but that it became better later on after she had left.

anywho thats a long summary of my the first ghanian party i experienced.

have a nice day.

TAGGED!

2006-10-19T00:53:00.000-04:00

MUMU Vera justt tagged me

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Loss prevention at a drug store
2. Customer service (damn people are annoying)
3.
4.

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. that guy that does nothing and gets paid for it.
2. food taster at the cheesecake factory
3.
4.

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Hotel Rwanda
2. Remember the Titans
3. Pirates of the Caribbean (the twice of them) Savvy!
4.

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. iKeJA
2. Clinton,MD
3. NYC
4. Slanting Island

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
i'm not a TV person but...
1. The contender (wonder why they cancelled it)
2. Desperate House-Husbands
3. Sports (baseball, soccer, basketball, football, hockey, tennis)
4. Simpsons

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Boston
2. North Dakota
3. Blair, Nebraska
4. Houston

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. OrisirisiBlogs.com
2. Monster.com
3. Nigeriaworld.com
4. The original TalkNaija "where running of the mouth is a pleasant treat"

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Cinnamon toast crunch, abeg scratch that! Golden Morn(i got reunited with it at the african store on tuesday)
2. cheesecake from juniors
3. Amala and Ewedu
4. Isi Ewu/ Suya/ Pepper soup

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Octopus (ate it once, didnt know wat it was till i was done, i looks like cornflakes after frying)
2. SALATU (Salads, i totally refuse to eat it) though i still owe missDBL a salad orgy
3.
4. pork...

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Mr. Biggs meat pie
2. Fan yogourt
3. agege bread with ewa agoyin
4. Amala from AMALA Extra (anyone familiar with lagos state university would know about this)
5. Obalende Suya/
6. Suya from the University of SUYA on allen avenue
7. suya from ikoyi club
8. zobo, palmwine, mudslide, call-a-cab, long island iced tea,

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Bed
2. Cloths/shoes
3. study table
4. TV thats never on

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. everything that could make it better than urs
2.
3.
4.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. wristwatch on my right hand
2. white polo
3. tan pants
4. and my good old aso-oke boxers

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. on some exotic island far from Slanting Island
2.
3.
4. NAIJA

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. with the marines in ############.
2.
3.
4.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU'D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. missDBL (thots always)
2. My Families
3.
4.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. why is this mumu vera making me do this
2. its 1.20am i should be marinating with sleep
3. sleep is happening to me, same goes for hunger
4. Thanking God for allowing me see another day

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. my Wristwatches
2. Shoes
3. phone
4.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
1. whoever
2. anyone who reads this and hasnt been tagged

yeah i know i need to complete my list of things, no be my fault, my head is heavy like a plate of Amala Shitta or is it Obalende suya (not the boot leg one they have in london). i'll be back later with my blog update.

i'm just there...

2006-10-11T22:16:00.000-04:00

its almost a week i updated this kinikon called a blog. y'all wont be mad at me o. a lot of things have happened between then and now. my co-worker passed away on sunday, she was found on the floor of her bathroom by her daughter. i wanted to go to the wake but my manager just had to give me this nonsense project to do. some say she might have had a heart attack in her bathroom and fell or maibe she just slipped and fell, one thing led to another and she passed. MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE! AMIN!

engineerAyo is confused o (thats why he hasnt blogged in a long minute) things aint going his way or at least no the way he would have wanted. he is hanging in there though. "a strong being is not the one who has all the muscles, a strong being is one who picks himself up after every fall."
anywho, i'll blog about it sooner than later. i just need some time to take a deep breath and say, "WHOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

anywho, my lamborghini eclipse friend had his party on sunday, got there late though, it was aiight. dont have much to say or better still i have a lot to say but i dont have words for them.

good nite y'all.

dont let the bedbugs bite, turn the table around and bite the bedbugs instead.

The Tale of the Cheap SCHMUCK...

2006-10-06T01:08:00.000-04:00

hey peoples! hope u guys had loved my parade pictures? i havent updated this blog in a minute all i've been puting up is pictures and that i totally dont consider an update. enough of that jare. lets get down to the KOKO of the KINIKON.
theres this dude i work with, code name SCHMUCK. you probably be wondering why the name schmuck right, why not give a better name. no be my fault o. by the time u finish u'll realize that the guy needs help.
this is wat happened, a while ago, 3 months ago to be precise my ghanian passie got a job out in reno, nevada, so my italian friend V had a going away party for him and all. i heard it was fun but i didnt attend cos i was on vacation at missDBL's. anywho, pictures were taken by schmuck, my albanian friends Vally asked to have copies and schmuck sure agreed to get her copies when he gets them printed. mr. nice guy u might think. OH! did i mention that schmuck has been tring to get with vally since his quest to get my italian friend V got crushed by the much awaited proposal by her BF of 5 years. (the tale of schmuck and V is for another day)

moving along, since it was now clear to schmuck that V was finally out of the spinsters market, the next person he saw fit was Vally. he brothers her and all, calls her his wifey and all and overall he was annoying her.
I remember one day vally and L my other italian friend were talking, and talks about guys managed to creep into the talks. vally was like she likes this, this, that and that in a guy yada yada yada. L now finised up by saying, "and he has to have money too." V was like yeah but money aint everything. (which we all agreed) Schmuck had heard them talking and was like,"i have money, i have money, i could go cash in my stocks, bonds, etc etc" yeah schmuck actually does have stocks and bonds and all. who wont have such if he is a thirty something year old college grad, who lives with his mom, mortgage paid off in full, doesnt pay no bills, he doesnt even pay his own cell fone bill, no car insurance nor car note cos he doesnt even have a learners permit talk less of a license, goes on vacation with his mum, even when his mum goes on vacation for a whole two weeks there is no action in the house.

anyway, back to the KOKO! schmuck finally printed out the pictures he took for the going away party and printed copies for Vally(lover boy innit). the part that now got me fired up and acted as a catalyst to this, is that, HE COLLECTED $4 FROM VALLY FOR THE COPIES HE PRINTED FOR HER! WHAT A SCHMUCK HE IS! i mean common print her copies for free he cannot do, instead he pocketed $4 and to think the big schmuck still expected vally to agree to his proposals and sweet talks. the best part is his defence, he said," things would have been different if she was with him, but since she claims to have a man then .... my though at this point was that if he really wanted her and hoped one day her said man would suddenly become non-existent thus she would begin to dance to his makossa tune, the he should act like someone she can rely on to be a strong person to be with and not a CHEAP SCHMUCK!

thanks for reading, have a nice day.

pictures!

2006-10-06T00:24:00.000-04:00

i dey go fight this my friend (lanre) o. seriously! see as him use flag cover my face, is he trying to say my face doesnt make the cut or he thinks i'm trying to scope the kele not like she is not scope able but i have missDBL by my side so i dont know why he used style to substitute my face with a flag.

u see this picture here ehn! i put it up for a reason. reason being the weeks that preceded the parade, there was noise that ramseh got into a motor cycle crash in SA or something like that. they went ahead to say the guys face would need reconstruction and all that orisirisi talkings. so when i saw him at the parade i was like no be the person wey some people wan swear say him face don scatter be this. cos if na surgery him come do for NY, those surgeons must have put fertilizer or is it quickfix on his face for it to have been back to normal within this quick minute. people and there talks. anyway, my advice to people out there, please dont spread gist that u cannot back up. soon they would spread gist that obasanjo is the presidential servant and not the president. nonsense and maggi.

More Pictures. Enjoy!

2006-10-04T23:33:00.000-04:00

these are some pictures i got from someone. i'll post some more of ours when i get them from my buddy who has the cam.

Ramseh noah is the one in the white tshirt on the far right next to the kaduna state sign

I'll be back with more!

By popular demand

2006-10-04T22:33:00.000-04:00

kingley(lamborghini eclipse owner)
L-R: lanre, theodore, dada, fancy, lola, ben, onome
squatting: random dude, captain naija

thats the much talked about lamborghini eclipse. my passie cherishes this car more than woman. maibe thats why he is single.

expect more picture y'all. my camera disgraced me so i got to get pics from my passies camera.

Post Parade Report...Part II

2006-10-04T00:47:00.000-04:00

People! i'm back for the second part of my report. i've been away due to the hang under i had from my paparazzi wahala. anyway, hope y'all had fun reading so far. if you did then i guess i didnt do a good job, cos i tried to make it as uninviting as possible.
moving on, there was an RV parked on 44th street, right on Kudirat Abiola corner (yeah thats wat the street corner at the nigerian embassy is called). there was this lady standing outside it yelling, "FREE HIV TESTING! FREE HIV TESTING! RESULTS OUT IN 30MINUTES!" or somn close to that. i was like, wat would make all these people wanna get tested on parade grounds when all they have in their heads is having fun and catching fishes. run the risk of a potential fish seeing u go in and out of the RV. anywho, the lady distributed free gloves for those wey no fit hold body. come see as this one dude load am like say him go sell am. abi sey na use him wan use am finish. all by himself? anywho watever floats his canoe. that one pass and my people and i were chillin on the sidewalk o na so we hear noise and saw people running. a close up revealed to me that it was good old ramseh noah o. groupies were running after him ni o. with all the shielding from NYPD (na so talk say naija galaxies not stars get international absence) even heard some saying they wont wash their hands again cos he shook them. i say GOOD FOR THEM! STINK MY SISTER! STINK ON! the guy na nice guy i dont have anything against him. (i still have a skeleton to pick with naija rumor mills as regards his accident o)
i walked back up 44th st and heard some people got arrested for protesting the presence of governors and SINNERtors. i heard them chanting GOVERNORS GO HOME! GOVERNORS GO HOME! i guess some people got uncomfortable after a while and organized NYPD to take care of the innocent people exercising their right to be heard. i was gonna talk about some random chick but her own kinikon is not important so imma skip her like americans skips the letter T when pronouncing the word WATER. yeah we calling WA'ER.
my passie didnt bring his much talked about car but u guys trust me. i wont rest till i get to publish a whole book about that car. he said the rear wheels were making noise et all. so i was in the shop and to think i was gonna collect money from people to see the car at the parade(a brother got to make a buck or millions now. just see it as Pay Per View) he is having his birthday party on sunday though so urs trully would be there to report all the reportables and pictures would be taken.
Finally, we left the parade venue after all the happenings that we thot was going to happen. we hoped on the subway to connect with the ferry to slanting island. got off the ferry and walked to our illegal parking spot got in our limo and drove home.(talk about taking every mode of transportation just to honor nigeria. HOW MUCH MORE PATRIOTIC DO THEY WANT ME TO BE?) anywho while all this was happening we decided that when we got home we were gonna have a ISI-EWU ORGY. and sure enough we got home, ordered isi-ewu and some of us ordered some goat meat peppersoup. sad thing was that my nonsense passies had finished the palmwine that they bought. if not our isi-ewu orgy would have been over complete. but anywhich way we still had a scatterBlast, blastScatter whichever one u want me to call it. it was totally awesome, my fellow blogger, dont worry i ate ur own share if the ISI-EWU being the nice and caring person i am. i always remember y'all in ur time of need.

for those early planner who want to start preparing for next year. the parade would be on saturday september 29th 2007. May Allah spare our lives till then. Amin.

LOVE 350 and LOVE 509.. Part 2

2006-10-01T23:29:00.000-04:00

welcome back, i know some of y'all wanna kill me already for making u have to finish up ur reading b4 u read the concluding chapter. while some peoples cant wait to comment and say stuff. all well.....

continuing from where i stopped, our minds are so made up that our ready made opinion about guys helps us attract guys with the same exact demenour that we dont want. why cant we approach every guy with a clean sheet and see what comes out of it.

As regards naija guys dissing naija girls. its somewat of the same thing with a lil extra somn somn. look my gorgeous woman-beings, some guys date and expect somn somn from u (i know they gonn think i'm selling them out) but its the truth. the minute the girl doesnt give it up we start to complain. its worse if our ex's have been chicks that all they want is a man who can KEREWA all day all night. thus within a short minute of our previous relationships, we have been able to get wat we want, how much longer we stay with her is not the point but the fact that it was given up hassle free is wats the koko. we are loving things till we start to realise that, we needs to start getting serious and work towards increasing the worlds population in our own lil way. we know awesomely well that our mama would dis-son us if we came home with "mummy hi" or in short anything other than a naija wifey. We start to pull away from our KEREWA buddy and she knowing wat she wants from her men, starts doing the next guy that comes along thereby giving us the reason to want out. Short story long, we would break up with miss and embark on our quest for our miss nigeria, our nigerian queencess.
here is where the confluence of the two rivers (river naija guy and river naija girl) is located. they both know time is not in their favor, they both want some of wat they enjoyed in the past relationships but wont want to compromise by letting go of those things and approaching each other fresh like mama toyin bread. then u have it, the naija guy bashing and naija girl dissing contest kicks in.
we should all stop being in denial of the fact that we would love to get married to someone nigerian, stop all this venting, fronting, backing and in some cases siding all in the name of trying to create a front in our quest for our dream naija husband or wifey while we also eliminate the weakest links that might wanna act like the strongest.

thanks for coming to class today. we shall see next time out. but till then i remain the only accountant whois a member of NSBE (national society for black engineers) with the name EngineerAyo. thank you and have a nice week.

LOVE 350 and LOVE 509

2006-10-01T22:39:00.000-04:00

hey my fellow man-beings and woman-beings. how una dey? hope y'all dey gbadun. we thank god o. me sef i dey a rice take dey inside plate. KAMPE! anywho, i was talking to my buddy Lee the other day and we got talking about naija forums, blogs and all its online bruhaha. she had noticed how more than a handful of naija female bloggers had somn to say about men, relationships, cheating boyfriends and unrepentant ex's and the whole 100 yards. this led us to the usual battle of the sexes threads you find on most naija forums. how all you hear is naijaguys this, naijagirls that, naijagirls this, naijaguys that. this has led to threads that make you wanna break a pc or somn. yeah u know wat i'm talking about dont u, i'm talking about the,"why are naija guys heartless?", "why are naija girls in the US lonely?","all naija guys are dumb","why do naija girls front too much?""naija girls act like they are the koko when they are not more than the kokoro" ati be be lo.
you would be surprised what these people have come to think of each other. its such that their generalization sometimes include their 3month old nieces and nephews who could barely keep their minds off breast milk. all in the name of painting naija guys and girls as being no good to each other. i know not everyone is into this kinikon but i wont be surprised if some of those bitter somebodies call for my head the minute they read this. but i ask them this, wat is my mouth for if it cannot say wat my head thinks about this whole naijaguy VS naija girl contraption.
i could also go on and on and start running my mouth about naija guys or naija girls or even the twice but me i dont have time for all their "why did the chicken cross the road stories" mixed in with their various arguments for and against.
what i have to say though is this, my only explanation to this whole thing is this, most of US are gradually realizing that we are no longer rug rats and sooner than later the pressure of getting settled, having a family, increase the worlds population etc etc would set in. the problem now is this, we all know deep down inside us that we mos def wanna end up with a naija person, but fact of the matter is that the lousy people (choices) we have made as regards the people we have dated or chosen to date is somewhat tormenting our being out of our sensible minds. most of us that engage in this naijagirl dissing, naijaguy bashing sessions have at one point in our pasts dated a nigerian. as much as i dont want to assume, i would still be right to say that our experiences havent been the best. it might have ended in heartbreak (or lung ache as some of us like it) but i ask you if u were blind when u decided to date him or her. do i hear u say he wasnt like that when y'al started talking and dating. OK! i agree with u but that just one person wat about guy #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,...#100. if they all started sweet and turned sour then should we all check ourselves cos i think the problem lies with us and not them. SIMPLE ENGLISH...your choice of guys or girls is rated -0 on the engineerAyo siasmic scale of 1 - 10. meaning u dont kinda sorta know how its doing you. u disagree dont you? aiight i give u the once again back down and agree that they were all no good, lying omo mummies. but dont generalize by saying all naija guys are the same and no good. most people do this and approach guys with this mind set then you wonder why guy #101 kinda sorta dont wanna date u even though you know he mos def wat u want and meets all ur pre-requisites for dating or marriage sef and sure better than guy 1-100 in all departments.

i'll finish up in part 2. till then i remain ur one and only engineerAyo

Post Parade Report...Part I

2006-10-01T22:00:00.000-04:00

hey people! how una dey o. its been quite a minute. the nigerian day parade was awesome, not without its usual orisirisi, but overall it was aiight. I got to see a whole bunch of nigerians in the same place all at once,(that hardly ever happens except at owambe sha o) with their different shades of green. my proples and i made the best out of it, my buddy odukun from MD came to NY with her friends although she jabo me went to hand out with whoever. she shall be dealt with accordingly.
moving on, there were a couple of faces present, Ramsey Noah (with all his groupies running after him) Regina Askia, Nnenna from ANTM was there too. whoelse did i see sef, a whole bunch of PoliSTEALtians as always, sINnators, orisirisi Governators. i didnt even bother to know who they were or wat state they were from. they all came for "state visit" abi sey na "official visit" them call am sef. senator florence ita-give of cross rivers state was there, u wonder how i take know her name and all innit. it was my friend BB that was like some sINnator kinikon kinikon was on the stage and i was like oh that woman i no like am, as i no like all sINnator and she was like she ugly anyway after u take off the make up or somn like that.
as NYPD held up traffic on 2nd ave cos we nigerians were doing our thing, a portion of 44th street was closed to traffic bcos of WE! not often do streets get closed to traffic cos of stuff like that, instead they'll close streets gue to scheduled destruction(construction) but destruction sounds better in my ear cos thats exactly wat i think tehy are doing.
Anywhichway, some guy tried to rip me the gutt off by trying to sell me a framed portrait of FELA ANIKULAPO KUTI, funny thing is the vendor sef was not naija. u might wanna know how much he wanted to bankrupt me with, 187,500 nigerian naira or 1500 american dollars. somebody help me ask him how he was able to figure that nigerians would be willing to pay that amount for a portrait at a parade when they know quite well that come sunday(parade was saturday) the price wont be the same again. anywho after i heard the price, my next question was oga u dey take credit. cos he must have smoked somn good to have actually thot nigerians would pay that amount for a portrait without any price negotiations like say na isale-eko market them dey.

all well, theres more to talk about o. i did my paparazzi work well well. i didnt rest cos i knew i couldn't afford not to get y'all orisirisi information for y'all. there still talk on the lamborghini style door eclipse, the random chick that tht she was all this and 2kobo, the parked RV, my comments about ramseh noah, the food, pictures and watever else happened after the parade. meanwhile u guys have to hold on a minute i have to go give my LOVE 509 and LOVE 350 lecture. stay tuned and dont change your dial as we say on NTA or in your own case dont close that brower window neither should u leave my blog. I no serious right, just say it already i know thats what you are thinking.

Off to class i go.

Nigerian Day Parade!

2006-09-28T22:48:00.000-04:00

hey! its almost october 1st, it would be the 46th year since naija gained its independence from mama charley land. not like i'm excited about it or anything cos those in the curruptDOORS of power dont give me any reason to be excited.
AnyWhichWay, the nigerian day parade is on saturday and imma be there as your one and only news paparazzi. there would definitely be gist to report cos between my fellow naija guys and girls acting like they are all this, their fronting and backing for each other and the orisirisi kinikon that would happen. there sure would be enough to run my mouth about.
my guy, Fox was talking about coming over to NY with some members of the fela boys club so we might be setting up our own fela boys corner. he never got back to me though but watever happens sha, i'll let y'all know. i sure wont mind gyrating to some afrobeat on saturday since some of my people aint coming to NY no more.

my passies friends are coming from outta state cos of the parade, so i guess we'll go shoot pool, bowl, play darts, or somn tomorrow nite since i aint going for the miss independence day pageant abi wetin una dey call am. but i promise you that it is on, on saturday. i'll be at the parade live and direct(so long God doesnt have other plans for me). meanwhile stay tuned for my LOVE 350 and LOVE 509 class. i have to combine those two classes cos i want a large class size. you know the way we have it in naija where there are over 500 students taking the same course with only one professor and no mic to amplify the professors bedroom voice. exactly that how i want it.

I shall not be tempted!

2006-09-27T21:28:00.000-04:00

Hey y'all! kilon wassup? i was gonna say nohin had happened to me lately but just when i started typing, i remembered this miss who was hitting on me yesterday. My day started off just ok. i thanked God for allowing me the priviledge of seeing another day. did the usual morning ritual and went to get my alumni card so i could have access to their pc, unlimited paper for printing and all (stuff i paid for and hardly ever used while i was still a student). anywho i got that done, got back to the carpark only to find that some nonsense hound had given me a parking warning. the guy no even fear. giving a whole engineerAyo warning. what arant nonsense! all well i left and went to my friends mum's african store. she was there by herself thus i ended up helping her with some of the customers present. next thing o, this customer she was helping walked up behind me, looked at me for a minute and was like, "do u work here?" and i answered, yes, i do. how may i help u, wat do u want or somn like that. Na so she open mouth o, "i want you!" her buddy who came in with her was like, "he looks young" (yeah i dont look my age, got them good genes in my system). she was now like, "i dont care, he looking hmmm! hmmm!" att his point i was thinking in my head, rewind back to 7months ago when engineerAyo was single and wasnt fasting. little did she know she was playing with kinikon.
anywho, i just ignored her and went on with my bidness. hopefully she wont keep coming back to the african store looking for me later on and start the stalking process. Amen! she aint gonn get anywhere anyway cos i got my one and only missDBL and she sure is all the different shades of sexy(overwhelmed abeg no sharge me for copyleft infrindgement o) that i ask for.

have a nice nite y'all.

sleep is happening to me early today.

R.I.P. Uncle...

2006-09-25T23:04:00.000-04:00

was gonna blog about the nigerian day parade coming up on saturday and also give u an update about my passies mitsubishi eclipse but i cant no more. my uncle passed away sometime last week and i just found out today.(my mum and aunt didnt want my sister and I to know) it was my other uncle who called my sister and told her and she told me. i've been moody on and off since i got the news. i dont really know the details though but i know he has been ill on and off for quite a long minute now. he fought back hard and almost came up tops but alas he couldnt go all the way. i'm going to call my mum today though. i need to know how his wife and kids are taking things and if they have told my grandma yet. he has been buried though. May Almighty Allah grant him paradise. Amin.

"from him we have come and to him we shall return"

Ramadan

2006-09-24T22:08:00.000-04:00

man-beings and woman-beings of this blogonosphere (see me speaking big oyinbo) i salute u o. i've not been here in a minute, partly because i've not really been running around this contraption called internet lately. i just speed thru most times like i speed thru free toll booths. and moreso its the month of Ramadan and i've been engaging myself with more religious stuff (guess some of y'all didnt know i was a muslim) all well now u know. anywho, my passie with the eclipse is back in full swing. the eclipse has been fixed and it made its first public appearance today. although ur one and only engineerAyo wasnt there to weakness the kinikon. anyway, my turn go soon come. he is driving the eclipse to school tomorrow and just cos of y'all i'll go there just to interview the eclipse on how it feels to have lamborghini style doors. pictures and autographs would be collected so stay tuned.

Maa Salaam...

LOVE 101

2006-09-20T23:00:00.000-04:00

people make noise all the time about love this love that and the question "how do u know if u are in love?" always comes up. After all has been said they ask u for ur opinion. i have taken it upon myself in my own giantly little way to help with this quest for finding or knowing when true love is felt.
OK here goes! all this one wey una dey ask for people opinion about how love take be, na second hand una go get. nobody can define love for u. u have to define it yourself, do i hear u ask me how. ok make i talk. sit back, take a deep breath and say whooooooosaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! u done that innit. cool! now get a list of things that u hate the most, the things that make u throw up, or as the cliche goes," the things that turns u off in females or males" whichever applies and if it both then i can't really help u in that department. now that u have that, its time for elimination method, the one u've been using b4 now is substitution method. if anyone of these people u want to know if u love them or not has all these things that get u disgusted the most and u still cannot stop thinking about them and can't stop feeling all what u feel for them then i guess u got yourself some GOOD SHIT right there. thats enough for now the KOKO of the HEAD of this whole contraption called love is self defined. if i start to talk now we wouldnt finish.

and to those of u that go into relationships thinking u can change the other person, u are the begining of the end of such relationships, u might wanna know why my opinion is such. i'll sure tell u... if i say i dont understand ur pain when u think u can change someone or mold someone into wat u consider perfect, i would be doing u a great injustice.
i totally understand u like i understand that food does not go into the nose. but there is also another factor in this equation, i didnt mention it earlier but its present. trying to change someone, yes thats possible. but what makes what u feel what it is, is your accepting them without even trying to change who they are. problems in relationships most times arise from one of the players trying to change some attribute of the other player, and if they don't succeed then friction is bound to come up, kinetic energy is produced which would later transform to heat energy, the heat then builds up till it cannot be contained any longer. thus, a melt down occurs and it mos def would lead to letting go although u know deep down inside u that u could make things work out if u want it to.

have a nice day y'all.

The end of something good

2006-09-19T10:13:00.000-04:00

hey there! its been a minute innit. i've been caught up with a whole bunch of kinikon i cannot even explain. didnt have no sleep last night, got somn on my mind since last nite. thus the reason why i couldnt snooze. i'll keep u updated though. anywho, i brought u guys some update abi sey na downdate on my friends lamborghini doors fitted eclipse. yeah u know the one i was talking about a lil minute ago. the said lamborghini doors have been fitted successfully but the yawa now is that the eclipse wasnt compatible with the lamborghini, it is having allergic reactions and these allergic reactions has led to infections have caused eclipse to become brain damaged(engine no gree work again) and has packed up finally. u wonder wat i mean by pack up. its easy to figure out now. the eclipse is now stale news. it doesnt work anymore, engine problem. now u see why i say if it aint broken dont fix it. short story long my dude is replacing brain damaged eclipse with a BMW seven series. u see thats wat i'm talking about. one basement window close another garage door open.

i got to go now. i've got some phone calls to make.

have a great day.

If it aint broken don't fix it

2006-09-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

people! people! people!
i dont know how come i have a handful of friends who are loco, some are naturally loco while some just act loco or do things that only loco people do. do i hear u ask me why i think of them like this. its simple some of them do stuff that cannot be explained. theres this friend of mine, he is the son of one of those people in naija that own luxury buses that make them long distance trips. this one is more into the lagos- benin route. anywho, this dude doesnt work right, why he doesnt i dont know, but i know his father downloads money to his pocket whenever he needs. the koko of my concern is that this dude uses his money for stuff a normal person wont do. do i hear u say wats my own is it my money or is it my father that is downloading money to his pocket. it sure aint my father but when people start to do irrational stuff then it means their heads don dey need lubrication.
OK! u guys tell me wat u think about this friend of mine. he drives a mitsubishi eclipse right. u know how small a mitsubishi eclipse is dont u. u do, aiight cool. u cant imagine wat this guy has installed in this poor car o. ranging from neon lights on the rims and underneath the car to TV/DVD/satelite radio/CD player. lowering it so it could get closer to the ground, 90 of trunk space is occupied by a giant size speaker, navigation system sef dey. help me ask am where him dey navigate go o. all he does is come to school, go home and maibe once in a while hangout with us his passies. where he got the idea that he needed a navigation system to do this everyday things i dont know. actually that one is minor compared to wat this dude is up to now. u wanna know dont u? i'll sure tell u. the said car is in the shop, and it aint that its broken and needs fixing. dude is having lamborghini style doors installed. u know them doors that open up instead of out right. yes those ones o. how much he is paying i'll let y'all know as soon as i paparazzi that one out. but the part that is paining me in this whole loco-ness is that, due to our eclipse being in the shop for a not needed makeover, dude has been taking freaking metro to school. yes o, he has been taking all the modes of transportation u were thot in primary 1 except for flying, he takes the subway (train), ferry, bus, he even waka join sef, so ask me again why i think my friend is loco. i told u about DD who called his pastor to speak with his mum cos she is against his relationship right. that one i'mma go get a update on happenings tomorrow. hopefully i'll get something. anywho i thinks imma drop my car off at the shop too, i dont know wat i'll have installed but i sure will have somn installed. join the loco-ness y'all. satisfaction guaranteed or ur money wasted.

goodnite y'all, going to dream about the makeover i'm having done to my car tomorrow. i might even dream of more stuff i could do to it.

Three Pints of Guiness

2006-09-14T09:53:00.000-04:00

Three Pints of Guiness...
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me..."
"...I've quit drinking!"

NIPOST don show me sege metala

2006-09-12T12:16:00.000-04:00

i need help for real. i dont know wats wrong with me o. i mailed my home fone bill with no postage stamps, no wonder they have been calling my house and it wasnt like i didnt have stamps sef. anyway sha they returned my bill to me, my question is, isnt it the same 39cents they require to deliver it to the fone company that they used in sending it back to me? dem don craze gonn o. why couldnt they just simply deliver it free of stamp and call it a day. hopefully i wont be past due by the time they get it. but these people mean o. all well, i guess i'll take the fone company's offer and start paying my bills online and if they ask me for stamp again then i know they want me to sepelize for them.

Stupid people...

2006-09-12T01:00:00.000-04:00

I know we all meet orisirisi people everyday, and I know we all know that one person who thinks they are the shit meanwhile they aren't up to my shit. I have had contact with a whole bunch of them. To some extent I feels its more of being an olodo than actually being stupid. I has this coworker who always acted like she was the top bitch maibe cos she had a fat ass and every guy around tried to get some and got some. not like I have anything against her or anything but my filosophy is if u can claim to be the biggest shit around then have the brains to support ur claim. In my own books she was the stupid hot shit that everyone wanted to get in her pants. U might wonder why I think of her this way. I'll sure tell U. She proved herself to be the stupid hot shit some long minute ago at work. na so I sit my own jeje o and she was like "wat time is it" and I was like ten minutes to eleven. she turns around and was like "and wat does that mean?" I looked at her confused like wat does she mean by "wat does that mean." she repeated herself and this time she was like,"wat time is that?" I said once again ten minutes to eleven. at this point she looked like she wasn't ok to me or better still I thot she was messing with me. I walked away and was giggling as I walked. she called me back and asked why I was laughing. at this time she had on this look on her face that had wat is wrong with this dude. I was like wat does she want me to do. She asked me a question and I answered shikena. na wetin concern fish with contraceptive. she say ok wats the time? And I was like some minutes to eleven. na so she talk say she no understand wetin I dey talk o. Meaning I should tell her the time in the 10:50(ten:fifty) format that she doesn't understand wat I meant by ten minutes to eleven. At this point I now understood her problem, and the only thing I could come up with was that she couldnt tell time. cos how hard is it to understand ten minutes past eleven. anywho sha wat can I do. I cannot teach her time not at that age. instead I would have recommended that she go back to 2nd grade and collect thetuition her parents paid cos she got ripped off.
these people always get me wired up though. theres this other time I was tryingt o sell a generator to this customer of mine. I was explaining to them how to use it and all o. and I was like this is the gas tank I could hold up to 5 gallons of gasoline. next thing I heard was, "do I have to put gas in it" I was like Yes, u do. and the next thing I heard was, "I don't want to deal with gasoline don't you have electric" see me thinking in my head that how can someone think of producing electricity with electricity during a power outage. anyways we will all learn one day one day. enough of this talk about olodo people sef. they will be fine.

fingers hurt, have a nice midnight

Food 4 Thought

2006-09-12T00:31:00.000-04:00

yes o! i am craving mr biggs meat pie, and its thanks to VERA who talked about her cravings o. since i read about her cravings i've been fantasizing about having me some meat pie buffet. i know my friend ALOIB wouldnt wanna hear me talk about any kind of nigerian meals, hopefully she wont kill me when she reads this.
talking about nigerian meals its been a minute i fixed me some amala and ewedu (salivating already) it is on this weekend. amala and ewedu is wat imma eat this weekend. DAMN FOOD IS GOOD! tell me u dont agree and i'll talkabout food some more.
last week, we were at my friends place cos it was their dads birthday and all. we got talking and gisting, na so we gist reach food o. their dads friend was telling us about naija restaurants here in the states, and was describing this naija place in houston (little did they know i had marked attendance there) at first i didnt want to blow up my spot. but the man forgot the name of the place and was cracking his brain trying to remember the name of the place. BAM! engineerAYO to the rescue. i was like i know the place, my friends looked at me like waka waka, how u take reach houston. i was like its called FINGER LICKING BUKATERIA and its on BISONET street abi se na avenue in houston. he was like yeah thats the place, how could i forget a place like that, where the ogunfe(goat meat) was first class. even ordered their FISH TO GO that one sef na killer. OH! LA! LA! FOOD IS GOOD! there is this other one is baltimore, peju's their suya was something to remember. their amala nko that one had honors degree even my uncles philippino wife couldnt resist the force of Amala and ewedu.
anywho sleep don dey catch, i'll keep y'all updated on my quest for tantalizing naija restaurants in the continental US. hopefully sooner than later i'll bring back the good news i'll find at "ASO ROCK"and "GOOD COMBINATION" both in brooklyn,NY. but till then i remain your one and only engineer who majored in accounting and loves FOOD like there is no tomorrow.
good nite y'all. men i'm hungry after all this food talk. chei! and i cant cook at this 15million o'clock.

"Can i have u for a fling"

2006-09-11T00:46:00.001-04:00

Heart breaks! Relationships! et all! people get heart broken due to many reasons. its not always the fault of the dumper neither is it always the fault of the dumpee. depending on how the players in relationships approach what they intend to have or wat they have, i think we could have less heart breaks or in some cases lung breaks. you might wonder where this is heading right. i bet u, u cannot even imagine. read on to find out.

ok peoples lets examine this together and see if it makes sense. or better still lets see if we could make sense out of the nonsense i have to say.

i think life/relationships would be better if guys make their intentions known to the girls right from the get go. my highschool of thought thinks guys should walk up to females and state wat their intentions are direct with no detours of any sort. e.g. A guy sees some chick he is interested in but his interest is not more that a quick fling. i think the guys words to the chick should be, Hi, i like you, wouldnt mind having a fling with u. and if the chick is feeling him the she should go ahead with it and same goes for the girls, if a guy approaches you and all u want from him is a fling then let him know by answering him with; i kinda like you too but all i want is a fling. and if the guy is also down with it, the floor is all theirs they could dance all they want.
this way both sides know wat they are getting into since they are both ok with the terms.
this leads me to the KOKO of the problem with relationships, heart breaks, lung cracks and wateverumacallit. most girls want promises that cannot be kept, same goes for guys, the minute the promises cannot be met friction is bound to come up, kinetic energy is produced which would later transform to heat energy, the heat then builds up till it cannot be contained any longer. thus, a melt down occurs.

wat am i driving at, simple as ABC, its about time guys and girls start making their intentions known from the get go. statements like these would make things a lot easier CAN I AHVE YOU FOR MARRIAGE, CAN I HAVE YOU FOR A FLING, CAN I HAVE YOU AS A HAND BAG, CAN I HAVE YOU AS MY ASSISTANT BOYFRIEND, etc etc etc....

Its my birthday!

2006-09-09T23:06:00.000-04:00

yeah its my birthday today! i know some of y'all might wanna know how old i became. sure i'll tell u, i'm one year older. anywho today was aiight sure better than the last couple of birthdays i have had. my birthdays for the last three years i've been in school all day. so having to work today for just six hours was like a birthday gift of some sort.
i didnt do much, just hung out with my passies after i got off work, order food to go (i aint cooking nohin for nobody) and returned the calls of everyone who called me. more people actually called me on this birthday than i the last few years. i'm waiting for my gifts. i dont want anything i wont use so VERA if u think that nonsense 99cent store hausa perfume u bought would be accepted u must be smoking wat u cannot drink.

wat else has been happening outside my birthday, lets see (thinking) nothing really. yeah my uncle is ill and has been in the hospital for two days now. he simply went for a checkup o and they said his BP was high na so they admit am o. anyway i pray he get out soon cos me personally i have being admitted. i think all thru my life i've only been admitted maximum 3 times and that is if u count the times i slept overnight and was back home the next morning. hopefully he'll be back home by tomorrow.

good nite y'all.

Shit is happening o!

2006-09-08T21:51:00.000-04:00

hey people! una well done o! how body? hope say body dey inside cloth. oh! i forgot its not only broken english speaking readers i have. dont be mad get glad. All i said was how are y'all doing? and asked if y'all were aiight and shit.
a lot of shit is happening o. i call it shit cos thats wat it tastes like. u might ask if i tasted it. i didnt but the way it smells has shit written all over it. i see some of all you amebo's and news hounds have started taking positions and warming up ur ears or in this case ur eyes.
before i start talking about the shit of a thing i wanna talk about, i want y'all to know that i've been somewhat in a mourning state since steve irwin (crocodile hunter) got stung by a sting ray. one thing is that we would all die one day but we all should pray not to die in ways that would hurt. if someone had told him he was gonna be killed by a sting ray he would probably have placed a bet with his life that, that wont be possible. but then it has happened and it has happened. MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE.

i think there is some setup in this thing though. i might be wrong but i think its a clique of crocs that paid the sting ray to do their dirty work for them, u know now, the way NIGERIAN poliSTEALtians pay people to do their political killings for them. i think its some croc who had a bone to pick with steve that cooked up the whole thing. i might be wrong about the croc and stingray conspiracy but i sure am damn right when i say these NO GOOD, SELF_ENRICHMENT AIM HAVING, NO USEFUL CONTRIBUTION HAVING, GOOD FOR KILLING nigerian poliSTEALtians who snuff out their opponents or anyone they deem an opponent all in the name of getting into the CURRUPTdoors of power.

Anyways i will be back to shed more light on my views about nigerian poliTRICKS, poliSTEALtians, assHOLES rock (the nigerian equivalent of white house) and trust me i have a lot to say.

meanwhile lets talk about some of the shit thats is happening.
it all started last Xmas eve. we had this rocking house party right, and b4 the end of the night some of our friends were doing lovey dovey. we didnt read anything to it after all the liquor they had consumed we thot it was the gray goose and hipnotiq they had that was kicking in.
only for my female friend(lets call her BB) to end up sleeping in my male friends(lets call him DD) house that night. we woke up on xmas morning to hear that BB was aiight and was having a chat with DD's mum. all well we were like its all good, its nothing. by new years day they were dating and we were all like ok. this is a good start to 2006!

after a while, DD hardly ever stayed in school. if he dont have class he is in brooklyn at BB's house. sometimes we wont see him for almost two weeks, imet up with him a couple of times on his way to BB's place at about 11pm. young man would leave slanting island for brooklyn late at night just cos he has to be with BB. do i hear u say it is love? HELL maibe NO. thats actually not the problem, after a while DD stopped working and instead of him getting another job. he add that time to the time he spent at BB's.

even with that, nothing spoil or so it seemed. gradually the word on the street (i keep my ears close to the ground) was that DD hardly ever came home. all he did was come home on sunday morning go to church with his familia and be back out of the house in a jiffy. that still wasnt serious, but soon BB and DD got an apartment together and moved in together. do i hear u say they are married?

thats not my problem, actually none of this is my problem. its just that i heard that DD's mum is complaining and calling my other friend's fone telling her to tell BB to leave her son alone. and wat did BB say, yeah u guessed it "I LOVE DD" the nonsense DD even called a family slash pastors meeting on his mum cos she insists he should leave BB alone and that BB should stop using JAZZ for her son. this is where i come in the DD mama has said if BB dont leave her son she would go to naija and get "home help" i even heard that BB threatened to curse DD's mum out if she dont leave her alone. did i mention that BB is older than DD by about 3 years.

i don dey tire jare i'll continue next time.

y'all have a good night. make sure y'all bite the bed bugs.

INTERVIEW IN MARYLAND

2006-09-07T12:02:00.000-04:00

i went for my interview and i thik i aced it. now i'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope my fone rings sooner than later. the position is in MD too. i had to drive back and forth but then i got to do wat i got to do.

talking about MD, and driving back and forth. on my way back to NY yesterday i stopped by ODUKUN's place in BOWIE to say hi. the nonsense girl barely offered me a sit not to talk of food. but thats not even bad at all she is praying i get the job so she would have someone to bother. lil does she know that the job also comes with a restraining order against her. anyway she will learn one day.

i also called my friend FUNMIE to see wat she was doing so i could go hang out with her b4 i hit the road. she no carry fone. i had wanted to see her and VERA the trouble maker but i didnt get to. all well, there is always another time, plus we'll mos def see when they come to Ny for the nigerian day parade anyway.

i also heard ODUKUN's ex-BF is gonna be a celebrity. i actually need to call VERA to confirm it cos she is the information minister. watever she says has some lie to it but it could be TRUE LIES so i'll still ask her.

on my way back from MD right after the delaware memorial bridge na so this MUMU guy wan follow me race on top I-95, lil did he know that even if i decided to race him, he'll be eating my dust cos his nonsense ford taurus got nothing on me. anyway sha i didnt race him cos i wasnt ready to get some stupid ticket cos of his ass, plus a clean driving record is one of the things my future employers would look at now tha i'm done with the second interview.

shit hole!

2006-09-04T22:14:00.000-04:00

na wa o! can somebody please help me find a way out of this shit hole called sears. i'm tired of their BS for real. anyways lil do they know that i'm on my way to better things. as i always say they will be fine and if they aren't they can kiss my ass and tell me the flavor.

talking about flavor, its been a while i went to the city to get me some ice cream.(havent been their since the winter) do i hear u ask why i would go into the city just cos of ice cream. trust me that shit is worth every bit of it. i dont only go all the way, i also have to wait at least a half hour b4 i can get a table. the place is SERENDIPITY III for no reason my friends and i have this nonsense unusual ice cream craving at 10pm at night during the winter. all well thats that about ice cream.

ernesto showed me pepper on saturday o. see as him dey blow like say him dey possessed. ask me how i knew. i was doing waka about ni o. i had to attend my cousins wedding, the cousin sef i never met him b4 o. but he is sha my cousin, i had to show face at all cost of plus my big aunty that came from chicago wanted to see me by anyhow possible.(last time she saw me was almost 15 years ago). and she also wanted to introduce me to some other cousins that were present. i was all for it anyway that way she would introduction me to the female ones there. u wanna know why, simple, so i wont start scoping my cousin. i don tire for this thing sef cos these days all men have to be careful b4 i go dey chase my cousin. anyways God would help us. AMEN!

Good Bad Day

2006-08-31T23:36:00.000-04:00

to start with i have had just 3 hours of sleep and my eyes have started giving me signs. started of quite early and then things kinda got kinky. but we prevailed. yes o! we did, ALL BAD DAYS FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL NOT PROSPER!

anyways aside from the not so appealing stuff that happened. guess wat? i saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by going with geico. do i hear u call me silly, i'm actually not as silly as u might think cos ireally saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. ok if u dont believe me analyse this...PROGRESSIVE = $4000; ALL STATE = $2500; GEICO = $1500. so do the math. i actually saved a whole bunch of money.

the next five days are going to be hectic, between our party, this nonsense shit hole called sears and my interview in MD. i know i would have my plate extra full. but as i be omo naija, i am totally up to the task. i'm ready for any curveball that comes my way.

i'll keep u all posted on all my runnings.

sleep is catching me.

goodmidnight.

Boring Day

2006-08-30T23:54:00.000-04:00

hello people! i got good news! i ended up not driving to JFK. although i still got my sleep interupted though. but all well, i still got the chance to catch some snooze.
went to work today, was there for just over 5 hours and it felt like forever. most of the work i did was done in the last 2hours. that shit hole called sears needs to be repackaged b4 its extra too late. why do i worry anyway, i'm getting my ass out of there sooner than they could imagine and to think one of my former managers actually tried talking me into transfering to the department she is in now. lil does she know that all men dont have a career in sears. anyways she will be alright. she said i should think about it like its some jamb question. my mind hasnt been there for quite a minute now and they all dont get it. my motivation to be in sears is ZERO! soon enough they'll learn.
i have my second interview with enterprise on tuesday, so i'll be going to MD this weekend probably monday though my cry baby manager wants me to work. can someone help me tell her she can kiss my ass and tell me the flavor.

my good people i got to go now, sleep don dey catch me. o da ro.