why is she singing the "i miss you" song into my ears

Long post caution

why do we always try to fry our cake and bake it too? this is the story of the EX, why is it ok to make us break down and then she turns around and wants to be friends. while being friends is sometimes a good thing, why has she been singing some darn "i miss you" song in my ears lately.

lil past into:

we were friends for a minute. while we were friends i was in another relationfish at the time. she knew all about it and how i had handled the previous relationship. she knew how i could treat her with respect and how i could care for her and all. maibe that was wat made her want more. so anyway, when i became a free agent again, she had stated that she gbadun-ed my ringtone and all that good stuff.(NO i am not the next best thing after sliced bread) i had initially refused, talk about a girl asking a guy out and him saying no. lol. my initialy no had been bcos i didnt want to put myself on the line so soon after the past breakdown. anyway, after a while my No mutated into a Yes and we started kicking things.

sure everything was all cool beans till she realised she wasnt getting younger and wanted some more committment from me. In all honestly i didnt have a problem with that. Thing is, she wasnt making me feel secure enough to commit to her the way she wanted. not like i was chasing after anything and everything else in skirt (i dont do those) but i wasnt feeling the peace of mind that would make me consider raising her up to another level.

short story long, she cheated. i found out(insector gadget) she didnt want to let me go. she actually wanted to date the twice of us at the same time although she knew i knew she was telling someone else the L word as well. (i have suffered). dude treated her like crap, or had been twice dating her as well.  all this happened so fast, i thot even God gives a second chance so who am i not to. fact remained things werent the same, i started to grow distant from her (unknowingly) yet i still treated her awesome.  she then started beating the drums of committment even louder, and the first thought in my head was. after all this u made me experience u would have to do more than simply request for committment u would have to show me serious reason to want to. anyway turned out she was more self centered than i thot. she became nasty, picked arguments with everything, something as simple as me taking a deep breath could have sparked off an argument.
e.g.
ex: whats wrong?
me: nothing
ex: why did u take a deep breath, there must be something?
me: nothing seriously.
ex: there must be something and then continue by pissing me off and get pissed at me for getting pissed off.

anywho by this time the distance between us had put us in different time zones, she kept on with her attitude and got pissed at me more for telling her the truth about how i felt and she also got pissed cos even with that i was calm and kept my head. i tried to put us back right, call it reassemble, call it recycle, call it repackaging, call it whatever u want. i tried but it still had the flavor of the past. simple she was just a self first person, she wanted something and since i wasnt moving an inch. she figured to act up maibe i'd do wat she wanted. lil did she know that she was building a gentle monster. another funny thing is, she wont breakup with me so she could move on and find her committment somewhere else. i asked her once too, i hit the nail on the head so hard she was shocked. i asked without stumble, why wont u break up with me. she said she didnt know and she went ahead and got pissed for asking. using the, "are u tired of this relationfish? if u r tired let me know" line. i was just there laughing inside me.(im not evil by the way)

anywho, sometime after that, we were talking and she got into one of her kini and i was like, i dont think we could fix this. i gave my whole going away speech and she was like if thats what i want then fine. im like its not what i want but if thats what would fix things then why not. anywho we stayed friends per her earlier request. her sister and her kids still call me. we spoke a few times for like 5minutes. conversation was colder than alaska, i asked her why she didnt want to do the breaking down and she tried to get pissed, i simply closed the conversation.

ok now she has been trying to hold conversations. she would call, send a mail or leave me a message on FB. now heres the thing, she has been saying she misses me each chance she gets, i have been acting like i didnt hear or i'll just respond by saying 4real? and would keep it moving. what does she want from me? when she found out i was going to naija, she already asked if i would attend her other sistes wedding. i asked, AS WHAT? plus she wont be there.


anyway thanks for reading whats on my mind today, watch out for my next post. its titled, AN ONLINE PICTURE OF VERA EZIMORA. yes u read right, she has begged, bribed, threatened, seduced, romanticized, canoodled and whateverumacallited me into not blogging about this. she even said if i did, she would make me swim with the fishes (think italian mob) i was quick to remind her that she was russian not italian. i know people who know people. i'm still thinking about her offers though, im a democratic dictator so i'll be fair. i'll consider both sides of the coin and pick.