Monday, December 15, 2008

'who owns the child,' disVIRGIN NIGERIA and other stories

hey my people, this is a public service announcement.
i should have done this long ago but i was busy battling some oloshious fellow under the name virgin nigeria(VN). i'll keep it simple and straight forward.


idiotic VN cancelled and changed my flight on me without notifying me, i only found out that they did such when i called to do the runaround of trying to change my flight. now as it stands i'm missing my highschool reunion which is one of the reasons i decided to go to naija in the first place. im staying in london for twice days(my aunt and my cousins are happy with that by the way, instead of staying a few hours im now staying a few days)

i doubt if a lot of people have found out that their flights might be leaving days late or might be leaving from a totally different airport. yeah they might arrive at heathrow and depart for lagos from gatwick. it is depressing and i have made up my mind never to fly anything virgin nigeria again. by the way did i mention that its a possibility that only part of the flight might be changed, meaning ur flight to london might be the same but ur flight from london to lagos might have been changed. and for ur return flight, ur flight from lagos to london might be delayed by one day but ur connecting flight might not have changed. so chances that u would be in th air on ur way to london, while ur connecting flight might be leaving london for NY is a VERY GREAT POSSIBILITY.

anyway enough of the mess called virgin nigeria, my mate from highschool put this as her faceCRAPbook status message a while ago and i thot to share.

who would have thought throwing of a show is considered an act of protest. how many nigerian political thieving elite would we need to throw shoes at? and with their overfed selves, we would most often hit the target cos their hanging bellies would sure get in their way as they try to dock.

thanks for hearing my rant, im off to naija of friday night so i might be off blogville for a minute. i'll try to blog but just in case i cant blog while in naija. i got a new huge and improved mail box. i can still accept gifts, so feel free to send my new year, hanukah, kwanzaa, yomkipur, xmas, ati be be lo gifts i have enough space to receive each and everyone of them.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

100th Blog Post: ITS MY LIFE!

It`s My Life
It's my life
take it or leave it
set me free
What's that crap-papa-know-it-all? I got my own life
Live your life and set me free mind your business
And leave my business you know everything papa-know-it-all
Very little knowledge is dangerous
Stop bugging me
stop bothering me
Stop bugging me
stop forcing me
Stop fighting me
stop yelling me
It's my life.
It's my life
it's my life my worries
It's my life
it's my life my problems
It's my life
it's my life my worries
It's my life
it's my life my problems.
It's my life
do you understand?
I live the way I want to live
I make decisions day and night
show me signs and good exemples.
Stop telling people how to run your business
Take a trip to east and west you find
that you don't know anything
Every's getting tired of you sometime
you have to look and listen
You can even lears from me little knowledge is dangerous
It's my life.
It's my life ...
It's my life set me free so you bed so you lie
What you see is what you get listen to people and sort things out
Things I do I do them no more things I say I say them no more
Changes comes once in life
Stop bugging me
stop bothering me
Stop bugging me
stop forcing me
Stop fighting me
stop yelling me
Stop telling me
stop seeing me
It's my life!

Dr. Alban

Friday, November 21, 2008

Date-Rape: when Laws protect the predator

We have a society where there are spelt out consequences for every crime/offence you can think of. Some crimes/offences even have more than one consequence just for effects or better still to drive the message home. But depending on how some are committed, the laws broken are interpreted differently thus the consequence is interpreted differently. Heck, a few of us might have contested a traffic ticket or two even though we knew the very moment we got pulled over that we were wrong. We notice the officer spelt our name wrong, got the color of our car wrong (its dark green but he wrote down black), got the time and place wrong, and we choose to fight the ticket due to that fact. Yes, if you get your story perfected you would probably come out tops in traffic court.

Are you wondering what I’m up to yet? Read on… I was running around the internet while taking a break from working today and I came across some article on msnbc. It’s a story about women drugged and raped yet the jury still couldn’t convict said offender. I don’t have to define rape on here, if you need its definition consult dictionary (don’t) com. I read through the report with my mouth wide open. According to the article, if a rape victim knows her assailant, there is an 80% chance that said assailant would walk free. It was hard to comprehend the actions of the affected women afterwards and what must have been going thru their heads. What they must be feeling? I read unbelievable statements like,

“Cases where a victim knows her assailant are still extraordinarily hard to win,”

“To a juror, a rapist is a guy who jumps out of the bushes and throws a woman to the ground,”

“She has terrible injuries, and she leaps up and reports it immediately to the police. Anything that falls short of that story is questionable.”

After reading thru the whole article, I am left wondering what are laws for if they do not protect you in all scenarios. I wondered why a jury is picked not to include anyone who has ever been sexually violated or who has ever had a direct/indirect experience with such previously, just so the offender could get a fair trial. I ask, what about the VICTIM? Doesn’t he or she have the right to a fair trial as well?

I’m beginning to feel anger building up inside me. it is a lengthy article but please read the article here and give me your 2cents.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

why is she singing the "i miss you" song into my ears

Long post caution

why do we always try to fry our cake and bake it too? this is the story of the EX, why is it ok to make us break down and then she turns around and wants to be friends. while being friends is sometimes a good thing, why has she been singing some darn "i miss you" song in my ears lately.

lil past into:

we were friends for a minute. while we were friends i was in another relationfish at the time. she knew all about it and how i had handled the previous relationship. she knew how i could treat her with respect and how i could care for her and all. maibe that was wat made her want more. so anyway, when i became a free agent again, she had stated that she gbadun-ed my ringtone and all that good stuff.(NO i am not the next best thing after sliced bread) i had initially refused, talk about a girl asking a guy out and him saying no. lol. my initialy no had been bcos i didnt want to put myself on the line so soon after the past breakdown. anyway, after a while my No mutated into a Yes and we started kicking things.

sure everything was all cool beans till she realised she wasnt getting younger and wanted some more committment from me. In all honestly i didnt have a problem with that. Thing is, she wasnt making me feel secure enough to commit to her the way she wanted. not like i was chasing after anything and everything else in skirt (i dont do those) but i wasnt feeling the peace of mind that would make me consider raising her up to another level.

short story long, she cheated. i found out(insector gadget) she didnt want to let me go. she actually wanted to date the twice of us at the same time although she knew i knew she was telling someone else the L word as well. (i have suffered). dude treated her like crap, or had been twice dating her as well.  all this happened so fast, i thot even God gives a second chance so who am i not to. fact remained things werent the same, i started to grow distant from her (unknowingly) yet i still treated her awesome.  she then started beating the drums of committment even louder, and the first thought in my head was. after all this u made me experience u would have to do more than simply request for committment u would have to show me serious reason to want to. anyway turned out she was more self centered than i thot. she became nasty, picked arguments with everything, something as simple as me taking a deep breath could have sparked off an argument.
ex: whats wrong?
me: nothing
ex: why did u take a deep breath, there must be something?
me: nothing seriously.
ex: there must be something and then continue by pissing me off and get pissed at me for getting pissed off.

anywho by this time the distance between us had put us in different time zones, she kept on with her attitude and got pissed at me more for telling her the truth about how i felt and she also got pissed cos even with that i was calm and kept my head. i tried to put us back right, call it reassemble, call it recycle, call it repackaging, call it whatever u want. i tried but it still had the flavor of the past. simple she was just a self first person, she wanted something and since i wasnt moving an inch. she figured to act up maibe i'd do wat she wanted. lil did she know that she was building a gentle monster. another funny thing is, she wont breakup with me so she could move on and find her committment somewhere else. i asked her once too, i hit the nail on the head so hard she was shocked. i asked without stumble, why wont u break up with me. she said she didnt know and she went ahead and got pissed for asking. using the, "are u tired of this relationfish? if u r tired let me know" line. i was just there laughing inside me.(im not evil by the way)

anywho, sometime after that, we were talking and she got into one of her kini and i was like, i dont think we could fix this. i gave my whole going away speech and she was like if thats what i want then fine. im like its not what i want but if thats what would fix things then why not. anywho we stayed friends per her earlier request. her sister and her kids still call me. we spoke a few times for like 5minutes. conversation was colder than alaska, i asked her why she didnt want to do the breaking down and she tried to get pissed, i simply closed the conversation.

ok now she has been trying to hold conversations. she would call, send a mail or leave me a message on FB. now heres the thing, she has been saying she misses me each chance she gets, i have been acting like i didnt hear or i'll just respond by saying 4real? and would keep it moving. what does she want from me? when she found out i was going to naija, she already asked if i would attend her other sistes wedding. i asked, AS WHAT? plus she wont be there.

anyway thanks for reading whats on my mind today, watch out for my next post. its titled, AN ONLINE PICTURE OF VERA EZIMORA. yes u read right, she has begged, bribed, threatened, seduced, romanticized, canoodled and whateverumacallited me into not blogging about this. she even said if i did, she would make me swim with the fishes (think italian mob) i was quick to remind her that she was russian not italian. i know people who know people. i'm still thinking about her offers though, im a democratic dictator so i'll be fair. i'll consider both sides of the coin and pick.

Sunday, November 09, 2008



today will soon be the past
then tomorrow will be today
time slips away so fast
so make each moment pay
because you can't recover lost time
there is no return to yesterday
life doesn't always rhyme
and the future is a new day
lost time is gone
the past has no replay
today is a new dawn
a chance to go a new way



Friday, November 07, 2008

what im thinking...

the stomping is over, the unlimited fliers being sent to me asking me to vote for Mr. A over Mr. B is no more. no more, who are you voting for? vote for Mr. Man. ok? Barack Obama has been elected the 44th president of "These United States".
But me being the engineer that i am, i have opted to doctor some of the facts from this election cycle. im not against obama, im not sure why i have decided to attend this school of thought but one thing is sure, i've been thinking these things for a minute. i dont know if its boredom or my love for viewing things different (thinking outside of outside the box) that has prompted this blog entry. but whatever it is got me thinking good.

would i have voted for McCain if he hadnt picked Sarah Palin? would i still have voted obama if his VP pick had been someone like Palin? would i have voted democrat if the nominee had been a Biden or a Clinton? Would i have voted for McCain if McCain/Palin hadn't started spilling verbal constipation by making such comments about Obama being socialist/terrorist/muslim/anti-american the list goes on till etc.
Some argue that most people of color voted for him because he is of color as well, whatever happened to the fact that he is hybrid. what reason would be given for the majority who are not like him yet voted for him.(bandwagoners u might say, correct?) or did they support him so as not to be labelled the "R" word? Al Sharpton contested a few times b4 him, Jesse Jackson did same but there was not this much support for them as Obama got. could it be that he is actually different and could deliver? would Americans ask for his head in a short time or would they allow him time as they did for Bush to mush things up?

all these questions i raised i might never get answers to, not like im expecting to anyway but i felt i needed to ask them.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


can someone please help me pick up my jaw, and shed a tear or 20 for the world we live in. read on to find out why.

my eyes have seen things, my ears have heard things, i know the world is on a moral downward spiral. i've had myself believe that things are not as bad as i might think. but am i wrong. they say grown men dont cry but i just shed a tear, for our world has mutated into something i can't put my finger on. i say mutated because i dont believe good old evolution could have been responsible for this. u might wonder where all this is coming from. what in the world could make engineerAyo shed a tear a 3. u'll find out at the end of the post. my friend sent me a clip on youtube and my jaw dropped i'll need a fork lift or a crane to raise it back into place. watch the youtube clip below and make sure u swear for whoever didnt do a good job at educating the kids in the video. help me formulate somn special for the adults present and didnt stop the madness u r about to watch.

the space above is for the invisible curses i rained on those responsible for all the moral breakdown in our world.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Thursday, October 02, 2008

ChiefO the driver-pilot....

...or is it pilot-driver???

It was 4th of July '07. ChiefO suggested we head out to MD on a one day road trip for his friend's BBQ. I'm like cool. Yeah, I-95 is probably used to seeing Ayo and I do a quick round trip on the same day

I'm like who's your friend, he says, "Funmie and a couple of others I met in blogville" I so never visited blogville at the time because I just didn't have patience for it.

Anyway, whenever we have to drive back to NY on the same day we aim to leave home at about 4 a.m... never happens because ChiefO wouldn't get up from bed to get ready until I call him that I've arrived to pick him up. (We live on two extremes, I in Long Island and in on Slanting Island, he is closer to NY border so makes sense for me to do the picking/meeting up) And I have to leave L.I at 4a.m because my sprinklers got on at 4.13 a.m and it's a mad race to beat it so I don't get soaked. (funny to watch me racing to the car.. don't even try coming home after 4 a.m and u have suede shoes on, shoo u might as well kiss dem shoes goodbye,.. i've learned to leave them in the car till later in the day.)

Back to ChiefO. He finally gets ready, we head for I-95, get to MD by 8a.m. He calls Funmie, and she's just heading home from work. Funmie's mom is super nice, she hooks us up with Boiled yam and stew... I knocked out for a few hours... I woke up later and she's like "Are you okay?" Wondering if I'm feeling sick or so. I respond by saying, "Excuse me ma, it's your fault I slept off and for so long too, you fed me yam and it makes people sleep." She just burst out laughing at me. Plus before that day I couldn't remember the last time I ate yam, I felt I was in naija all of a sudden -- good stuff.

I met Vera and a few other blogvillers, Oh BTW Funmie's kid sister who happens to be my favorite person in that family, is totally Vera's mini-me(jealous Funmi always talking abt ahan, is she the only u know in this family?) ...
ChiefO works the grill as though he was born to do it, and Funmi and Vera try to stuff me with everything stuffable because there was everything grillable there... shoo, I'm salivating right just thinking about it.

But this post is meant to be about ChiefO, so lemme get back on track
It's about 8p.m we get on the road, ChiefO likes to do rest stops I HATE it. Anyway, a few hours later, I pullover at a rest stop for him, and ask him to take over driving...I grab my trusty blanket and off I was in dream land... I woke up a while later and said, "Damn, that sleep was so sweet it felt like the one you have in an airplane"...
while laughing hysterically ChiefO responds saying, "shoo do u want turbulence? I can go all the way to the right lane if you do, the road there is rough so you'll get some turbulence"... I just gave him 'the look' and went back to sleep.

Just one of a gazillion teasers I have to ensure from him, but trust me I always get him back, and real good too. Except, my friends then tell me, "why do u treat him like a step-brother?" shio to that, if only they see him in action too when he's picking on me

Sunday, September 21, 2008

"igwe", nigerian day parade, X

ok IGWE, that some song on Dbanj's latest CD. i dont know how that song is doing me but i've been feeling it a lil too much lately. im scared to listen to it on TRUSPOT cos IT might block it like they did DUDURADIO. maibe i'll just get the CD and rip it onto WMP, they cant block that can they. Igwe - DBanj "IGWE E! IGWE E! IGWE E!"

NIGERIAN INDEOENDENCE DAY PARADE NYC 2008 is on saturday, i dont know if i'll be attending yet. but im kinda like 70% on the side of attending. anyway, i'll be sure to get my paparazzi on for y'all to see if i decide to add the remaining 30% to my 70%. hopefully i'll have fun, cos parades tend to get boring after attending 3 yrs straight if i know how to count right. my passies from slanting island are attending. which is kinda why i might be there as well. if u need to know who i am. just simple look for that dude in a gray polo shirt with everyone around him in green. yeah i know im special like that. few yrs back i did my gray thing and my friends were cursing me out. i just didnt feel like being eco friendly (going green) dats all. im feeling the same way this year as well. but we'll see i might decide to go green afterall. maibe i wont want to be the only one not in green in my passie circle. talking about green, i need to call vera, is she driving to NYC for parade or is her chicken livered self staying put in good old Bmore as always. idiot like her, she has been making noise about attending for God knows how long. come to think of it, if vera were to attend, since she is already green, that means she wont need to wear anything since her birthday dress is green enough. not like that would be a good sight but anyway. on a second thot i doubt if she'll attend though. Her baby TAB lives in NY and she might not want to meet up with him in a public place. she prefares private sessions.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

guess who is back blogging

i'm blogging again, tell a friend. i could rant about OBAMA and McCAINT but im so tired of all the bruhaha i have decided to delete everything politics from my daily diet(i'll see how long that would last) anywho, for those wondering where i've been and what i've been up to. i've been running around the whole northeastern united states. I-95 seems to be my favorite interstate, but even with that, i have really cut back on my MD trips. i remember last year i was in MD so many times some pple actually thot i had finally relocated. u know somn funny though, the times i've gone to MD this year have all been because my mum is around and we've had a few family kinikon to attend which she didnt want to miss. ranging from my uncles surprise 60th birthday parry to family reunion (that i would later talk about). i'd rather endure the driving than have them dis-son or dis-nephew me. im not promising but the next time i go to MD this year, i'll have funmie's isi-ewu with me. for u see i didnt forget u. i've had ur isi-ewu between my mind for as long as u've requested it.

talking about isi-ewu, my isi-ewu lady is back from naija. she left since april and just got back. im thinking what in the world could she be doing in naija for that lng. instints tell me that she has gone to use our isi-ewu and pepper soup money to build some massive contraption in her village. anywho maibe just for the sake of amebo i'll ask her when i decide to go get me some pepper soup as medicine for this cold weather.

by the way, i think FALL is here too early. i've needed to dress warm the past few days and its not funny cos that is simply a sign that b4 we say shokolokobangoshe we'll be cleaning out snow for xmas. rewind maibe u cos i'll be in naija. hehehe. its been a minute. naija actually emailed me to invite me to come visit. talk about personal invite. its sending its not so private jet aka ??????airways.

i don dey tire abeg. ok honestly speaking a lot more stuff has happened since my last blog entry. aka my marriage proposal which i declined. the groom price that was offered my mum after i declined the marriage proposal and some other tantalizing drama. family reunion gist would wait till next time hopefully i wont have more juicy stuff to run my mouth over than i could put in one entry.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

from Gasoline to Ireland with love

hey my people. work is kicking my ass, almost to the extent i begining to regret taking my vacation. its like they all joined forces against ur one and only. anyway any over-working fashioned against me na simply beans talk.

gist of the week, i was running around on yahoo news the other day and i found this video clip about people going around syphoning gasoline from other peoples cars. i watched the clip with amusement, the first thot was my fellow american are so lagging behind in this great act. i remembered back in naija when my neighbours kids would raid their mum's car every night in their quest to "refill" their own car. and this wasn't around the time when gasoline was scarce, so imagine how they got when gasoline got scarce. i did my own fair share of syphoning, but mine was more for fueling the generator to watch champions league games than anything else. all this really shows how mushed up things have become. imagine costco limiting the number of bags of rice customers could buy. NO BE BEANS TALK O! but im not surprised though, for a long time it cost more to buy a gallon of milk than to buy a gallon of gas, so i'd be right to say that gas prices felt threatened it was getting upstaged by good old milk and it had to raise its game.

on a similar but different note, i went to ireland for my vacation, and it felt so awkward. from their driving on the wrong side of the road, the cars looking like toys and their not ever going past the speed limit. did i mention that the widest road had just 4lane (two in either direction) even lil richmond ave has 8 lanes in some places. it was an experience that was hard to swallow. it was made worse when i decided to go shopping, i got to the mall at about 6pm only to find out all the stores had closed for the day and all that was open was the grocery store.(where is SUPER WALMART) i wanted to blow a fuse, for God sake it was a saturday and the stores were closed by 6pm thats so not right. cos even my slanting island mall stays open till 10pm on saturdays. i learnt a lot of hard lessons on my trip, but if u ask me if i'd go to ireland again, i sure would. just that this time i'd make sure i go with strictly water proof clothing cos the way rain falls in that country get K leg pass one of my friends. one minute its sunny, next minute its raining cows and chickens. it was such that i thot it was some kinda game. (i guess dats why ireland is called a green country)

i'd gist y'all about my KFC experience next time.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

happy birthday grandma

my grandma turned 81 yesterday. someone please join me in saying a lil' big prayer for her.

i'll be back for the post of the day.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

talking the talk

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it"
those are the words spoken by Aung San Suu Kyi(political activist) those words are also the only explanation i could give to the shabang thats happening in southern africa today. i know im meant to blog about fun stuff but its hard to ignore the happenings in a certain country thats looking to set new standards for a failed state.

anyway, back to fun stuff. is it just me or is there a viral infection spreading in the name of ASA. she has been around for a minute(once upon a time i listened to her songs at work for 10 hrs straight) and due to my binge listening antics, DUDURADIO has been blocked by our IT dept. oooffffing eefffers! i call it a viral infection because even my fellow nigerians who would normally consider speaking yoruba or anything close to it as being local, razzzzz etc are bumping their heads to her songs and Gongo So by 9ice. short story summarized, "RAZZZZZ is the NEW COOL" but the flip side to this could be that everyone and their twins are tired of these naija artists singing about money and KELE's although most of them signed "SLAVE CONTRACTS" that wont allow them make as much as they should be making. but some things have to be kept the way they are, the fans built these lil monsters and the artists are only keeping up with the monsters their fans have built.

Can someone please tell MAMA CHELSEA and her MARATHON RUNNER rival to cut out all their bullManure already(actually its too late for that now) back in january i had said that these twice people should sort it out between themselves, basically cook up somn where one is president and the other takes vice-president. but NO they just had to play though guy till now, thus allowing their bullManure to start giving off perfume. e.g. marathon runners ex-pastor's comment bruhaha and MAMA CHELSEA's Sniper attack LIE.

Pennsylvania primary is on tuesday. make we see wetin go happen cos at this time T, junction J and point P. i'd really wanna know who either of them would pick as vice if they end up getting the nomination. i saw a clip from their debate few days ago when they were asked if they could make each other vice and i couldnt figure out what answer they both gave as answers cos they linked it up to a whole bunch of anything else.

anywho, i'll be back with gist about my vacation, YEAH I WAS ON VACATION FOR A MINUTE. till i come your way again, i remain engineerAYO FFF, BBC, CNN, AIT, NTA, MITV, DBN, the adopted step grandson of her royal wineness.

Sunday, March 30, 2008


"PEACE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GONE, YEEEEEPA! FOR THE ONES NOT YET BORN" Those are the words/lyrics of ASA. On my journeys while dining with princes and scoping princesses. i heard said song and i felt some feelings i hadnt felt for quite a while now. i'm really not the politics junkie that some people might expect but when i see whats happening in this world of ours. i cant help but pitch in my 2 cents.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


last time i blogged was like 15million cat years ago. i dont know whats been keeping me from bloging but i think i need to get back to my blogging ways.

i've been away dinning with princes, flying with kings and queens (trying to hook up with their daughters)

by the way, does anyone know where vera, OFAwhemed, afropinay, funmie, mari, cherub (baltimore gal), stranger's life ati be be lo. all the important ppl on my blog street. anyway i dey go come. make una wait me.