Friday, April 10, 2009

What Would You Do?

please what the clip below and share your thoughts.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Top 10 Monday

we all know the police are our friends, but there are some things you might say to them when they pull you over that could land you in more trouble. my top 10 today are the top 10 things you do not say to a police officer when you get stopped.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
its engineerAyo's TOP 10


1. You had a donut today?
2. Dont you have better things to do?
3. Did you make your quota for this month?
4. Whats your badge number?
5. Thats not mine, i dont know how it got there?
6. Dont you have criminals to catch?
7. I didn't know i was going that fast?
8. Stop wasting my time.
9. I only had a few drinks
10. eff the Police

feel free to add a few of your own and if you have had personal experiences you might want to share please feel free.

have an awesome work week guys....

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Feline Seduction

it is Saturday nite, its been windy all day but i heard the weather tomorrow is going to be off the hook. i've been having issues with getting myself on here to update. so i have decided to rebrand my blog, but unlike Dora, the explorer and her nigeria rebranding quest. i have decided to change some things as a way of rebranding and not simply going all over shouting rebranding without things really changing. i have a few things in mind and i'll need you guys to help me out when the time comes. listed below are some things im thinking of rebranding with.
1. EngineerAyo's Monday Top 10
2. EngineerAyo's private thought(inspired by FemiB)
3. EngineerAyo's journey to becoming a CPA
4. once in a while i hope to do a post about EngineerAyoRESS
5. etc etc etc (theres more rebranding to come)

ok, i got back from work last monday and as i did my parallel park magic. i noticed my neighbours cat out in the yard beside the house pacing back and forth. with my windows wound up i could hear its calls. it was obvious it was restless, something serious was going on. i finished with my parking magic, stepped out and the cat was right by the car door. strange, as i walked to the house, we walked side by side and i almost tripped over it a few times. all the while it kept on with its calling which kinda became louder by the way.

as i moved to let myself in the house, puss gets closer and was rubbing itself all over my leg. i made an attempt to check its collar, just in case its house address was somewhere on it, and it dipped its head down, bent its legs and raised its back side. hmmm, i tried again and it did the same thing. anywho, i let myself in grabbed me a can of tuna and headed back out to feed it and it wasnt there no more. all well i went back in and i got thinking. what was wrong with the cat? was it on heat? why did it follow me instead of the woman walking on the sidewalk? was it my testosterone? was its cat sign language an act of flirting? was it scoping me? does it not know the difference between feline testosterone and human testosterone? did it know, but just didnt care at that point and just needed to get laid? i had more questions running around in my head than you have in an exam test booklet.

i dont know much about cats but i did some lil research and found out that the position it took when i tried to check its collar was the mating position. the 'calling' was a mating call, its rubbing against the steps, my legs, my shoe were all signs of it being on heat. so in conclusion i think i got seduced by a cat. i got hit on by a cat. i can go on a on but u get the gist. imagine, temptation plenty for this world o. even cat dey try tempt people now.

y'all have an awesome sunday. be sure to stop by on monday for the first instalment of 'engineerAyo's Monday Top 10'

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

lets make babies

hi people, make una no vex. recession dey try catch my blog but it cannot fit to try it. theres a thin line between right and wrong. but this youtube video got me wondering. please watch it in its entirety and lets know wat u think.

i hope to update b4 the end og the week.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

my MUSHED UP naija trip

i was going to blog about the car stealing goat from naija but thats stale gist by now i assume. instead i'll talk a litte about my naija trip. my trip to naija was aiight. at least better than nothing, but it sure was a hell of a trip. you all remember all the BS they gave me even before i left good old JFK.

anyway, i left JFK a little delayed because we needed some plane de-icing (wings, wheels, tail even runway needed de-icing). the snow mixed with rain we had that day was one in a million. if i didnt know better i would have thot the prayers of people who wanted me to take them along but refused was being heard. moving on, we finally took off safely, a few minutes into the flight turbulence kicked in. no like the one i tried creating for yessie on our way back from maryland on one of our numberous road trips. this one was ebeano, if i learned anything from my flight that nite, it was to always heed to the fasten seatbelt calls we hear too often during flights. the turbulence kicked into overdrive and out of nowhere we were all jerked out of our seats violently enough for me to feel my butt lift way off the seat. u know the way it is on some rollercoasters (the ride NITRO at sixflagpoles in NJ comes to mind). anyway, we got thrown out of our seats and a little after that it was smoothflying all thru.

i arrived at heathrow and it was all cool beans and sauce. my aunt saw me for the first time in about 8yrs. long story short, i enjoyed my stay in the UK and soon it was time to pack my bags (which i never really unpacked) next stop naija.

then the wahala started, i got to the airport at about 7.45am, gatwick was a total mess that day by the way. got to the Virgin nigeria counter and then the bomb got dropped. somehow like this

VN staff: sir the flight was overbooked by the ticketing office in lagos.
VN staff: you wont be able to fly today, you've been bumped to tomorrow.

it sounded like april fools in december, cos first they had made me stay longer than i had planned. i had missed my highschool reunion because of that and now they were dashing me an extra day at my own expense. ok they paid for the hotel and all but that wasnt wat i paid for when i booked my flight damnit!

at this point i was fumming, ready to curse anyone from VN out. then it dawned on me, i wasnt the only one. checking in had started at 6am, they did a first come first serve thingie (so if u had checked in online, most likely u might still not have made that flight) and by 8am or thereabout the flight had been filled. my buddy L was lucky, he got to the airport just early enough to be able to check in. but they had overbooked damn flight by not 1 seat but by close to 30 seats. some lady also flew in from NY that same day, paid some 100 pounds for cab, even tipped the cab only to be told. YOU CANNOT TRAVEL TODAY, YOUR FLIGHT WAS OVERBOOKED. YOU FLY TOMORROW.
they said we would be checked in at about 10.30am after the flight we missed had left. they took our names, gave us vouchers to go get somn to eat and instructed us to come back. trust naija people, nobody left to use no voucher till after checking in.

anywho, part two of the whole thing happened when i tried to check in at 10.30am. they said they couldnt find my ticket to lagos on their system, WHAT! my aunt broke the guy a piece of her mind at this point. i called my agent and they had said they ot a call from the airline stating that i had been bumped to the next day so how come they couldnt see my trip tto lagos in their system(by the way they saw my return trip starting from lagos back to NY) i was on their fone on hold tryong to get them to talk to my agent for over 3hours(it had to be their fone cos i wasnt even going to use my money to call and stay on hold forever. Waste my money ke. IMPOSSICANT!) anyway, i had to pass the night at premier hotel,(london people fit know am well, it round the block from the airport). then found out from my amebo(very informed) hotel shuttle bus driver, that VN had been bumping people for a while, problem carried foreward if you ask me. and they had been checking them into the hotel for the nite. anyway, all nite i was on the fone with the agent, thank God for free internet calls. by morning i was the first person they saw at the checking counter, the guy whom had been giving me a hard time the day before was the one who eventually fixed the crap they caused.

they offered most of us free ticket valid for a year but i refused to even collect mine. you wonder why? its because i had the gutt feeling and based on some reliable info that they might not fly that route for much longer. THEY STOPPED FLIGHTS ON THAT ROUTE AS OF JAN 27TH WHICH HELPED ME CONFIRM. so i finally got to naija, caught a little fun as i could. it ended up being a serious trip instead of a relax myself trip. then part 3 got served, i tried checking in and the VN staff told me he couldnt locate my ticket again, i had to go to ticket desk for them to resync my ticket, whatever that means. i was about to start my very deserved tantrum when i looked at my mums face and she had noticed somn was wrong from far and had given me the calm-ur-nerves-and-dont-start-trouble-here look. anyway i did, they "resynced" my ticket and soon enough i was on my way, went thru security, customs, (they tried to make money off of me as usual) searched for souvenirs to buy for my co-workers. got them the I LOVE NIGERIA fridge magnet from duty free. then i got my GOOD BYE NAIJA gift. but unlike the welcome naija gift thats given to everyone on arrival (NO AIR CONDITIONING) my good bye gift was unique to our flight alone. guess what it is, u cant guess, no u cant try again, impossicant, u get a 2012 range rover before vera if u do.

oh you still want to know my gift, THERE WAS NO POWER/LIGHT/ELECTRICITY at the gate my flight was meant to leave from for quite a while thus we couldnt board. and with that i left naija with the hope of returning before the end of the year. if you think u have been given a better goodbye naija gift let us know.

see below for the pics i took of my gift, some nonsense lady thot i ws taking pics of her daughters while i tried taking pics of my gift by the way. SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL HER I DONT DO JAIL BAIT.

PS: i'll add the pics later tonight, i ned to get myself to upload it from the memory card first.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hope they are listening

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."

President Barack Obama

this whole inauguration thing has been all i've heard from most people for the past week. from people wanting to know what Mrs Obama would wear, to those wishing the day would come already so he'll get to work, t to those expecting his inaugural speech. talking about his inaugural speech. Number 44 as he would be called by some said something in his speech today that i hope nigerian/african poliSTEALtians heard as the whole world also did. its the quote above, i know you must have heard it but if not, join me in saying a prayer for our PEPPERSOUPing, SUYAing and BIG-STOUTing politician. not for them to keep up with the aforementioned but for them to take toposted quote and make it their new creed/mision statement/goal/purpose ati be be lo.

gist of my trip to naija later.