Friday, December 29, 2006

random yarning

sup all u woman beings, i know there is a warrant out for my arrest for not updating my blog for a long minute now. no be my fault o, it is laziness mixed with a whole bunch of things thats been keeping me away from blogvilla.
anywho, hope u guys ahd a nice xmas, mines was BORING. but its about to be spiced up. bijou is coming to the big apple. she is meeting up with some of her friends. we probably would hang out and all. maibe go dancing, salsa, techno, zouk, soukous, ati be be lo. bijou wants an owambe to go to but unfortunately i'm not an owambe person. talking about bijou and her coming to the big apple, abeg u all should warm bijou o. she is trying me! she is seriously trying me! she has refused to organized some nice shrimp fried rice when she comes and to think i was about to make her a deal. the deal is that i'll supply her with ingredients for pepper soup and even supply myself to PA to fix her the pepper soup and she dey use me do shakara. u guys should warm her o! cos if i vex ehnnn. if i vex ehnnn. i wont even tell u wat i'll do.

now that i have that off my mind. i have been listen to too much awilo longomba lately. its kinda my driving soundtrack. then i mix it up with dbanj and eldee. anyway i'll be fine, all these inner melons(thots and issues) trying to hold me down shall not be given the dark of nite not to even talk about the light of day.

so until i come ur way again, i remain engineerAyo. the adopted step-grandson of the idi of idi araba.

PS: i intend to do a 2006 recap b4 the end of the year so help me God.

Monday, December 18, 2006

5 wierd thingies about me.............................NOT!

I cant believe i'm doing this tag. Vera the next time you tag me abeg make sure its something i'd do and get paid doing it. if not,"dont even ask to bother" tagging me.
i smile all the time and i'm always in an upbeat mode. this isnt a problem but fact is even when i'm pissed i'll still be shining my teeth like i just brush them in 3weeks.
i wear my wristwatch on my right hand, it started when i got my first wristwatch some 18somn years ago and never looked back ever since. i dont eat cold food, not for nothing but if its not blazing hot, i cannot eat. finish cooking now and when i want to eat some half hour from now, i'd have to macrowave the thing b4 i can eat watever it is.
i used to put ketchup on my pizza, dont know why but it kinda sorta tasted better that way. but now that i found gino's villa monte pizza. i dont need no ketchup cos that pizza is the hot shit. moving on, i also wont eat SALATU for anything (maibe some couple of million dollars might change that) but till then i REFUSE TO EAT SALATU (salad) no matter wat shape, size, texture, form, figure, brand or color it comes. i guess my not eating salad has to do with the fact that i dont eat cold food, and since i cannot warm it up with and it still same afterwards, its a no go area. i still owe missDBL a salad orgy and i sure would honor the raincheck when she decides to redeem it. only u could make me eat SALATU.
i always have two pairs of socks on. dont wear one for anything. i wear sweatpants under my pants during the winter cos i hate thermal wear pants. i wear my wristwatch for 23hrs 40minutes everyday. i've been sleeping with socks on for almost 13 years now.
i tend not to accept gifts from people, very few times i have accepted birthday gifts, sometime i dont even expect gifts sef. i dont ask people whether enemy, friends, family or wateverumacallit for money even if i know i'll get it and might not need to pay it back.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

where is the KOKO?

nice music videos, enjoy!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Mr. Biggs is a Naughty Man

"Mr. Biggs is a Naughty Man" those were the words of my 4 year old niece (call her lil miss 'Mo) on one of the battle of the titans she had with her mum and dad. ok it all happened some months ago, my mum and my second mum were going out to XYZ (girls day out) and lil miss 'Mo was bent on tagging along. they didnt have a problem with it but her parents (my sister and her husband) didnt want her to go, their reason being she had school the next day or somn close enough. but b4 they could say shokolokobangoshe, lil miss 'Mo had takena nice shower, was dressed to kill and waiting for "ganma and ganma doto" thats wat she calls them.
anyways, time came for them to leave, my sister and her husband still bend on derailing her plans out tagging along, sprung into action.
parents: 'Mo dont go you know u have XYZ and XYZ to do
'Mo: sad faced, no reply, just keeps walking out the door.
parents: we'll take you to the zoo (she loves animals)
'Mo: zoo, (tempted but no thanks) N0.
parents: we'll take you to Mr. Biggs.

then she dropped the bombshell that broke the deadlock, she won the battle no questions asked.

'Mo: No o! i dont like Mr. Biggs! Mr. Biggs is a naughty man!

i guess all you adults didnt know that, did you? u better start thanking my niece, for finding out who mr biggs really is and what kinda man he actually is too. all you mr biggs craving adults in blogville.
from that point on my sister and her husband had no more firepower to conquer this determined lil angel. because for her to disown Mr. Biggs in this hard time meant she had to go with "ganma and ganma doto" at all cost.

on the way back after their "girls trip" she looked at my mum and second mum and she asked, "Are we still going to Mr. Biggs?" the looked at each other and both said, i thought you said Mr. Biggs was a naughty man. but no anymore, she had accomplished what she wanted so why not try to push buttons just in case she could get some meat pie, ice cream and all the other good stuff, because Mr. Biggs might not be so naughty afterall.

and on this note, i have decided to do vera's tag the next time out.

have a nice day you all, and stay away from mr biggs, dont ask me why.

Friday, December 08, 2006

naija on blast

i was going to blog about some good stuff. but the abcnews report on scammers made nigeria kinda changed my blog route. for the record if u hear from the streets that i'm from benin republic please dont be surprised, na condition make cray fish bend. its not like i'm pissed or surprised at the report. the thing just caught me on the wrong foot and all.

i'll be back later to blog about everything and everything i had intended to blog about initially. but in case you didnt see the report click on me
or me

Sunday, December 03, 2006

running mouth!

how has ur weekend been so far? mine has been work work work (i need some distraction, abeg u, any takers?) anywho i just got back from JFK. the sight of people travelling brought up thots of how my xmas would be boring being in this NYC. i took my second mum to the airport. yes, i have two mums and no, she is not my step mum. two weeks ended faster than i could say shokolokobangoshe. the last two weeks have been fun though, although my sister had more fun with her than i did. work work work is all i do. simple english, a trip to JFK made the reality of not going to naija sink in deeper than i sank my teeth into this meatpie. what makes it worse is that i'm working against my wish and under duress for that matter. anyway i go beta we go buy toyota.

i need help. i've started bottling things up again and i fear the next melt down might hurt more than i can handle. been searching for my outlet valve for some days now but i cant find it. i need to find it soon b4 kinikon and kiniyi starts to happen to me. anyways, i'll be fine.

veruchka ezimora has tagged me again. i wonder when she would understand that sharing pain is not the right way to show affection. or should i call it inflicting pain cos she obviously aint feeling the pain. i can only complain this much though, cos one thing i know is thats what makes her who she is.

have a nice nite y'all. i need to go sauté my soul with the moin moin my second mum made b4 she left for naija. when i'm done, I'LL HAVE A REASON TO SOW! (translate the last phrase to yoruba and you'll be glad you did)

have a nice week y'all.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

over my hangover

yes o, its unofficially official! i finally recovered from my thanksgiving hangover. not like i over nourished or anything o but for some reason i've been having this severe case of excusitis which has been holding me back from blogging.

anywho, people never seem to amaze me with the kinda things they do or say. i've come in contact with a lot of orisirisi people in this my simple life. i've met those that are willing to download their life history to u within a few minutes of meeting u and leaving no stones unturned at detailing things. anywho thats not the koko thats amazing me today neither is it their asking me why u have to put gasoline inside a generator and why not have an "electric" electric generator. anywho i hope that kinda gave all y'all a lil insight into the kinda people i meet on a daily basis.

anywho, i met this lady today who wants to buy a treadmill for her DOG! yes, you read right, her DOG! said dog is a 3month old german shepherd who weights over 70lbs, doesnt eat dog biscuits (healthy foods only, i.e. carrots, apples et all). she says scoobydoo has too much energy, is growing fast (might grow up to 150lbs) and she cannot keep up with scooby whenever she takes scooby for a walk. long story short, she is willing to cuff out $600.00 for a treadmill for scoopy to keep in shape(damn dog got a xmas gift already while vera is still here hoping and praying to get somn). her words went somewhat like,"i'll use it to tire him out b4 i take him for a walk that way i wont have to chase after him." all i could say is some dogs got it good. but then i'm not surprised cos i've seen people push their dogs in strollers and something close to a baby carriage

Thursday, November 23, 2006

happy thanksgiving!

hey yall, i havent been on here in a minute. i've been running around in circles trying to catch my turkey o. it tried to run away from but i finally got it on lock down now. that means i'll be having a turkey orgy tomorrow. sad i cant eat too much cos i'll have to be awake earlier than early on friday cos i got to be at work by 4.45am. DAM BO RO BA SHEGE! THIS COUNTRY NA NONSENSE!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

if you'll fOOk HER in the ass, show some respect, KISS HER first damn it!

i'm not a rape victim but i know of a certain miss lady who got gang raped.
growing up, i watched, same as every chidi, dele, and mustafa, as you all took turns on her like the village bicycle. you all gang raped her, sucked out all the useful life in her milk factory till they made rotten paw paw feel like there was hope.

you all gang raped her, passing her round like she was ur birth right, family inheriatnce and whateverumacallit. people cautioned u by saying she wasnt just for a select few, but you threw caution to the wind and tried to play god among men.

you all gang raped her, by lying thru ur teeth, saying u were doing such and such in her best interest, tell me how and when did, dropping the soap in a male prison bathroom become a good thing for (BEST INTEREST OF) the new comers on the block.

you all gang raped her, till the roaster got back to somewhat of a starting point. but this time out the rape wasnt done by all. some abstained, some didnt finish, while some just didnt care and simply continued from where they had stopped but this time it included her children and childrens childrens children.

numerous years have passed since she began trying to heal the woulds of ur actions, its been a really rough road i must say. dele, chidi and mustafa have come of age, they have been joined by imabong, danladi, ekaete, kokosari, uchechukwu, ekamma, babawande, lagbaja, tamedu, lakashegbe, bala, and many more. and just when she thought she had finally come of age and was responding to therapy, we find out that kasali, mohammed, ifeayi who all lost family during one or more of the rape sessions are out there urging the rapists on, to come back and finish the "GOOD WORK THEY STARTED"

yeah fellow bloggers, some of u might have figured who the rapists are and who the victims are already. but if u havent then ask ur next door neighbour who knows. if not, i'll as well tell u...

i'm talking about that country south of the sahara, north of the equator just right around the corner, across the atlantic ocean. it hurts to think of happenings this way and i tried as much as i could to hold back a lot, but hopefully i let out enough to make my system balanced. this now brings me back to the title of the blog post.

how long would NIGERIA be held against her will and get gang fOOked in the A$$ by prison guards (no good leaders) and their supporters who have sold their birth right for a bottle of odeku and a plate of nkuobi. even if they are going to rape NIGERIA over and over and over and over, at least THEY SHOULD SHOW SOME RESPECT AND KISS HER FIRST B4 FOOKING HER IN THE A$$.

EngineerAyo take a deep breath and say WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

happy birthday Y.B.

hey y'all its YB's birthday today. i think she'll be some 20 somn years old now. she actually thot i had forgotten imagine. i know its been 8 years or less but then 8years aint enough to forget a birthdate is it. called to wish her a happy birthday and she was shocked i still remembered. asking me who told me and all that rice and beans. all well there are some things i forget, there are some i want to forget, and there sure are some i cant forget.


I dont feel for u the way i used to...dont u just get it

first we were buddies
then things grew between US two.
you claimed you liked me just as liking you wasnt a bad idea...

time passed, TA came into the picture
you said he was a friend, you met thru TS
things happened questions were asked
you insisted he was "just a friend"
he picked you up from work everyday
he was still "just a friend"

anytime i called, you were either in his car on your way to or from "somewhere"
i wasnt born yesterday so i sure know bullshit when i saw one,
i didnt actually have to taste it to figure it was bullshit
he picked up ur fone a couple of times,
he asked questions and i sure answered,
to the best of my knowledge that is.

then TA left you for TS
claiming it was TS he wanted all the while not you,
you were lung broken,
you came whinning back to engineerAyo (mr. nice guy) your words were,
"EngineerAyo see what TS did to me, i cant believe both of them could do such"

you were quick to forget you had engineerAyo believe TA was "just a friend"
if he was just a friend then why the tantrum and bitter words towards them both...
you asked if i still had anything for you
my response was i dont think so, you kept on the pressure in trying to make me substitute hubby,
but my leg stand for ground gidigba...

not because i was bitter with you,
i just didnt see myself being with you anymore.
but you kept on pestering my innocent soul.. i thot you got the message

then i met lovely missDBL
you started to beef me cos i was with her and i didnt tell u.
last time i checked i didnt have to consult you before i did anything,
but you forgot something though...
(i dont know if its engineerAyo that didnt understand the whole contraption u had but ... )

you forgot that right b4 missDBL came into the picture,
u told me about camera buying dude, (i thot u had gotten the message)
yes camera dude bought u a camera for ur birthday
being the friend i thot i was,
i told u camera dude was looking for somn more,
u insisted on him just being nice thats all.

voila two days after that
camera dude asked you to date him,
u turned camera dude down,
you shot him outta the sky even b4 he could gather altitude
due to the crashland camera dude suffered
he came back with these word,
"i cannot date you anyway cos you are not spiritual enough"
wat a comeback line from a hurt lion cub.

then you were with kay,
you claimed you werent dating
yet he waits for u to get off work so y'all could catch a movie or ten.
he buys you lunch and drops it off during ur lunch hour.
yet u kept brothering engineerAyo for something maryKAY and camera dude were available for.

and to think all this while u still were interested in engineerAyo is somewhat of a classic tale outta the daytime sponge opera's.
how was engineerAyo supposed to know to give u a twice chance(not that he thot of giving u a twice chance anyway)...
if maryKAY and camera dude were already by ur side.

soon enough u find yourself some dude,
you guys started dating and u were quick to say to engineerAyo,
"engineerAyo guess wat?"
engineerAyo not in the mood for BS was quick to cut the BS short, by saying,
then the sorry word came flying out,

u said it with that tone that has
"are you jealous yet written all over it"
far from it, i was happy for u,
i was thinking, attention finally moved awy from me MR. DBL.
but now i can put A and B together to form AB.
all the while u kept asking about missDBL and everyother thing u asked about.
u were only looking for a way to come back into play or worse still give ur two cents back to engineerAyo make him feel he missed out on somn.
yes he missed out on getting some and moving on

all i'll say is this, i stopped feeling for u the lil i used to feel for u long before now. all i have to offer is friendship, if i offer you otherwise, i'll hurt u more than you can handle, abeg let me be SHI#KENA!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

boredom and what i found

NB: your perception may vary depending on how sobber you are right now.

the two pictures above helps us understand the effects of alcohol on male and female species

give me one reason why u wouldnt support research

saw this online and it just doesnt look right.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

i got some of my sanity back!

i finally fixed my pasta craving cells today. yes o, i've been craving pasta for like 6weeks now, if i was pregnant i'd have said it was due to the hormanal imbalance and all. but engineerAyo is nowhere near being female not to talk of being pregnant. i specially ordered me a nice bowl (notice i didnt say plate) of pasta from gino's although my coworker brought me some macaroni pie. anywho, the pasta was awesome, i felt born twice while it lasted, not that it lasted long anyway. but it was tantalizingly awesome. next time i'll order a "ZOMBIE" to go with it, then that would really make my day. enough talk about food, FFF oshi.
i got a call today about a job opening in parsipany, NJ. at first i was hesitant about the offer cos if u know where slanting island is, u'll know that parsipany aint no stone fling away. then u factor in rush hour traffic and snow days and what do i have, a contraption called a 90minutes commute. wat! engineerAyo doesnt care o, even if its in far away kalamazoo na drive i go drive am. maibe after a short minute i might move out of slanting island where everyone seems to know someone that knows everyone that knows you, to parsipany where engineerAyo dont know nodoby. what the hell, no be this same world all of us dey.
my awesome reader, speaker of the house of representatives of the blogosphere, y'all should put me in both your serious and not so serious prayers (reason being you never know which prayer God would answer first) engineerAyo need all the prayers he could get. those of u that care to know. i'll be willing to split my paycheck with you on my own terms and conditioners.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Endangered Species

are you that friend that stands by a friend during the good and not so good times...
endangered specie you are
are you that person that always listens...
endangered specie you are
are you that boyfriend/girlfriend that wont cheat even if ur life depended on it...
endangered specie you are
are you that guy or girl that would date someone not for what the person has but for who the person is...
endangered specie you are
are you that fellow that smiles no matter what breaking ball life hurls at you...
endangered specie you are
are you that fellow who would do favors without expecting anything in return...
endangered specie you are
are you that one person that makes life worth living for someone...
endangered specie you are
are you that stranger willing to sacrifice your sanity jsut so someone else could be sane...
endangered specie you are
are you that stranger that would treat a fellow stranger like yourself...
endangered specie you are
are you that person who always sees the good things about the next person...
endangered specie you are
are you an accountant who is called an engineer...
endangered specie you are

Sunday, November 05, 2006

sunday is today

its a beautiful day out here on slanting island. the 2006 NYC marathon is today and the traffic situation is a day-mare. the slanting island expressway is pack bumper to bumper from start to finish and all the way into NJ. i had planned on going to the city today but i realised the subways are normally outta wack on weekends then factor in the marathon closures and u have chaos in the underground. anyways i have opted to stay aways from the city, the marathon and everything that comes with it.

yeah, i finally met my cousins girlfriend this weekend. she is actually at the house right now. she seems like a nice person and i think she is quiet too. all well maibe when she gets to know engineerAyo a lil better she would know that engineerAyo is also a quiet fellow (y'all didnt know that did you) but has learnt to become as playful as we come. but could still be very quiet if he wants to be. anywho, talking about my cousins girlfriend, my lil cousin is going to be a uncle soon. yes his brothers girlfriends is gonna have a baby. (i didnt mention she was pregnant right, yeah she is) she is due in march but i might be wrong cos i wasnt given the whole 411. i dont know why but all well, one more addition to the familia. one thing is, i never knew my cousin was into white chicks but then i only know this much about his choice of females anyway. cos the few GF i have met were all DUDU (yoruba word for black). enough of my talks about my cousins already.

i'll be back later, i have talks to give y'all.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

something inside

the last couple of days have been somewhat like sour tasting soup being pumped down my throat without having a choice of throwing it back out. i am that kinda person who doesnt allow things of his past hinder what the future would bring, but lately the past has been creeping back into my system at such a pace that it has finally started melting me from the inside out.
it would have been a different case if those that would have helped by donating their time to hear me out as i offload my gutts are there when they are needed. unfortunately they have better things to be bothered with than to be held down by engineerAyo's soul melting impurities. at some point it feels like they dont care, never cared, or stopped caring long b4 now.
i read somn on overwhelmed's blog and i left a comment, but my comment was laced with somn. her response to me was,"i sense theres stuff in you that you have to express..." i read her response and i thot about it for not so long a minute. YES I DO HAVE SOMN I HAVE TO EXPRESS. its eating me up, dont want to dig them back up but recent happenings have sparked off my deep thinking self and it was my deep thinking self that wrote this some years ago on one of those days when things just werent kosha
i have a lot of things held up inside of me.
Some in my head,
Some in my heart,
Some in my mind and thoughts.
Those in my head i use daily,
Those in my heart i cherish,
Those in my mind i think of all the time.
But people do not understand, and some just do not care.
What they do not realize is that i have something else inside that hurts deep inside.
i can not tell you but it really does hurt me deep inside.
i'm trying to fight back, but its harder now than it used to be. i guess my theory of not letting stuff out, building up heat and causing a meltdown from the inside out kinda slipped me by this time out. i have got back up though. YES, i have got back up. engineerAyo is going to start self therapy. my self therapy would be blogging my every thought whenever the need arises. make it kinda like an escape valve or release valve.

its been a long minute

sup y'all, i haven't blogged in quite a long minute. its note like i dont have stuff to blog about but the fact is whenever i get to this contraption about the life of engineerAyo, i just turn around and read other peoples blogs instead. e.g. as i type i have vera, bijou, and overwhelmed's blogs opened on other windows. i came to tell y'all about the lil red capri pants and wat them pants do or did to my system and also talk about my coworkers custom made JACK DANIEL BROWNIES but thots of sunday's plane crash just keeps hopping, skipping and jumping back into my head. My friends lost their step-dad in it and we've all been kinda playing things down but we all know things alright. hopefully something would be done to the aviation sector to make it a lot safer sooner than later. and sooner than later wont be until half the population of nigeria get sacrificed. and if they dont have any solutin to it. I SAY WE SHOULD WIRE UP THE BRAINS OF OUR LEADERS AND THE TRIGGER SHOULD BE LINKED TO THE DECISIONS THEY MAKE. ANY WRONG DECISION, WRONG THOT, OR ACTION MADE SHOULD TRIGGER OFF SAID EXPLOSIVE, THUS WE HAVE ONE LESS DUMB DECISION MAKER TO WORRY ABOUT.

note: the anger i feel made me type some of the aforesaid in uppercase. anger partly caused by the happens in nigeria and by things happening in me, to me, around me, within me, ati be be lo......

Thursday, October 26, 2006

my day at the DMV traffic court

hmmm, where do i start? i accompanied my sister to traffic court today, we had to fight a ticket she got about two months ago. the cop gave her a ticket for no reason even after she pleaded with him and even mixed it with her sorry face. the cop no buy am o.
anywho, she pleaded not guilty. Thus, we went to court today to fight the ticket out. we got to the DMV on slanting island and she was like,"i pray that cop doesnt come to court so they could throw out the case." while we were waiting the nonsense OLOPA(cop) just appeared from nowhere o. her lungs just did a cart-wheel. but trust engineerAyo, i was like we got this. anywho, the court proceedings started and the first two cases heard by the judge were thrown out cos the olopa who gave them their tickets didnt have all his paperwork ready. then it was our turn, come and see the acceptance speech this nonsense olopa of a guy had as his paperwork. damn, was he a SUM-of-a-shit. anywho, judge asked if there were any weakness, that was where my inspector gadget skill came into play. first she asked me to step outside the hearing room, while the olopa and my sister stated their case. then some other cop called me into the hearing room and the following dialogue played out.

judge: where you a weakness to the incident
engineerAyo: yes i was.
judge: raise ur right hand
judge: do u swear to say the truth and nonthing but the truth.
engineerAyo: I DOES!
engineerAyo: on said day, my sisters car's right breaklights were out and we were on our way to get it fixed so as not to get a ticket. she also needed to pump some gas and we pulled into a gas station on the corner of vanderbilt, van duzer and richmond. she then realized she needed to use the bathroom b4 doing all this cos she was pressed and didnt wanna wait to pump gas, plus she doesnt use public bathrooms, therefore the gas station bathroom was not an option. she pulled out of the gas station and thats when she was pulled over and given a ticket. with the officer stating the reason as,"she used a gas station to avoid a red light"

at this point watever i had said had matched wat my sister had said so the officer was down by points already. the judge asked if there was more and that was a sign that the cops story was cock and bull. anyways i saved the extra stuff i had to say cos b4 i could even say anything else the the judge was like. DISMISSED! see my sister wheel herself out of the DMV faster than it took for the cop to move back to his seat.

anyways, my sister later told me that the olopa admitted that he was hidden and yada yada yada.
RULE #1 make sure u are seen, do not hide from peoples u trying to catch.
RULE #2 should be sure he got his shit straight. dont pull pople over for beating the green light.
imagine, the light he claimed we were trying to avoid was green. who on this earth would use a gas station to avoid a green light. short story long. the cop wasted our time making us go to DMV to prove ourselves.

my sister now has serious beef with slanting island cops. they got somn for her that she dont know. cos this aint the first time they writing her up for nothing.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Ranting and Rambling

i dont have much happening around me at the moment, or at least nothing i would want to talk about for now. hopefully soon i would spill my gutts or forever hold my peace.

i got to work "ON TIME" today and went to drop off my coat in the locker/coat room after strolling in about 10minutes late. i was hanging up my coat and somn prompted me to look up. i noticed some shinning matter on the shelf above the coat hanger. A closer examination of the specimen, i noticed it was a chrome plated or stainless steel object. hmmmmmmmm. the detective in me made me look with keen interest. that was when i got the shocker of the morning. it turned out that the said shinny matter was nothing more than a VIBRATOR aka DILDO aka LIL'JOHN. the other fellow in the coat room was said, "its been there for a minute," and i was like for real.

i havent been in the coat room for a long minute now, cos i leave it in the car most times, but did my bringing it in today give me something to talkabout or wat? i doubt if the owner of the shinny specimen would come clean and claim her merchandise but at least its good to know that someone has been having on good time at work. those bathroom breaks must have been really satisfying, i can only imagine the smile on the persons face after every bathroom break.

hmmmmmmmmmmm! i'll sure be taking my coat to the coat room now. u never know i might meet the lucky fellow who forgot her LIL'JOHN in the coat room.

Thanks for reading y'all

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

sup human beings

hey peoples, kilon wassup? its been a minute. i've been blog-deprived for a minute now, but i'm back. read my update about DREAM STEALERS and make sure u comment or forever hold you peace. EID-MUBARAK to all my muslim reader. May the almighty accept fasts as an act of IBADA.AMIN.

talking about fasting, not eating and all that. i think my body doesnt know wat they call lunch anymore o. abeg any doctors in the blogonostosphere should help an engineer out. i ate yesterday afternoon after 30days of not eating at said time only for me to have a stomach downset o (cos upset would be an understatement). i was fine until i ate o. only for me to finish the food workout and my belle started giving me the noises, soundtrack and whateverumacallit. right now its 7.05pm and i still cannot bring myself to go eat cos i fear imma have another round out a downsetting stomach. anywho, maibe its cos i ate a lil and my belly was expecting me to dismantle a mountain all in the name of fasting is over and i can now eat. the thing don tire me o. but if its request is for me to eat a mountain and even eat the valley plus. this belly should have simply told me that now. instead of inconviniencing me for every last sane cell in my system. anyway sha, i go beta we go buy toyota.

Dream Stealers

Have you ever experienced a situation where you told someone about your dreams and aspirations in life and said person would tell you anything or go to any length to tell you how what you just told him or her is "not a good idea."

person: what do you do?
You: i'm an undergrad...
You: studying accounting and engineering or engineering finance or Language antropology
Person: rubbish! why are you studying such
you: thats what i love, my passion lies in that
Person: cant you do somn else such as integrated Yoruba
Person: people are making it in that field you know
You: Yes, i know but we all cant swim in the same river
Person: True that, i'm not trying to discourage you or anything but....

i know we have all heard this or had such dialogue at one time or the other in our not so young lives. but closely examining these people, one would realise they havent done much with themselves, you could argue that, thats the reason why ther are saying such, they are only advising you (trying to steer us in the right path) but i beg do be a rebel against that opinion. one thing is for you to advise me another thing is for you not to have anything positive to say about whatever goals and aspirations i have or have planned for myself. there is a not so crooked line between hateration and bad belle.

people like said fellow, in my books are simply referred to as DREAM STEALERS! Their being dream stealers dont mean that they would discourage you from whatever idea you have come up with and then turn around and take your idea and use it to their benefit. NO! totally not the case. they are DREAM STEALERS in that they dont have anything good or positive to offer as an alternative to whatever dream you have for yourself. they are thieves who try to rub u of ur dreams by negating whatever dreams you have planned.

Do i hear you say,"BUT ITS ONLY A DREAM!" Yes! i totally agree with you on that. but i'll also add that, DREAMS ARE WHAT FUELS THE PROGRESS OF MANKIND." if people b4 now didnt dream who knows whether we would still be eating raw uncooked meat. if the explorers of old didnt dream of reaching the end of the world, we might not have discovered the different civilizations present in the world today. if sailors has not dreamt of a far away beautiful virgin land there would have not beed expeditions into the unknown that brought about the discovery of the numerous and less known places that were found during these quests for the beautiful virgin land.

My word to you on all this is for you to follow your dreams, never allow someone or anyone to put your dream down as being inferior or impossible especially if that person doesnt have anything better to contribute or give as an alternative. stand tall, follow your dream, i might also add that sometimes it might only be a dream but you would never know if its just a dream if you dont follow it far enough to realize what it really is. on a final note...BEWARE OF THE DREAM STEALERS WE HAVE AMONG US.

thanks for reading

Thursday, October 19, 2006

My first Ghanian party

Hello, man-beings and woman-beings of the blogosphere. i know its been a minute i updated this blog of mine. u guys wont be mad at me for one second. i was getting over somn that was kinda new to me. I EXPERIENCED MY FIRST GHANIAN PARTY!
yes o, i was invited to a ghanian party o. my friend told me almost a month ago so i could have excused myself from not going. i found out a whole bunch of my passies were going so i tagged along too.
i picked my friends, AA, OE and L up at about 10.15. we got there at 10.30pm thinking we were late, to our surprise we were the third or forth group of people to land. picked a sit, waited and waited, while we waited, we got to gisting and cracking up ourselves cos the boredom had started to creep in. anyway the couple who were naming their baby strolled in at about 12midnite. i thot nigerians were the only ones who started their owambe's (parties) late but this one gave a run for our money. after the owners of the party had arrived, i thot the whole thingie was going to start in good time, but was i wrong. i took another half hour for it to start, one the MC wasnt there yet. it was my friends dad who stepped in and all. multitasking as a cameraman and MC, the MC later arrived.
anywho, the thingie went on slowly and the next thing i heard was that they wanted the mama and papa of the baby to come and dance. my friend L was like how are they gonna dance without serving nohin and all. lil did he know that he was in for a shocker. anywho, they danced and soon enough there was soda being served and liquor was on display. L became happy after seeing the liquor but he was still waiting for item number 7. back on track, soda was served, snacks were served, stickmeat (kebab) was served. but my fellow naija people and i were still waiting for the real item number 7. a long minute later, MC asked everyone to come dance and whoever had gifts for the baby should go drop it off and so so and so spot. (we didnt have no gift cos we didnt even know wat the party was for, no be our fault now). people started dancing and i must say ghanian music is nice. at first people were reluctant to get up. then my passies and I stormed the dance floor. come and see how we overtook the whole place with our dance moves. its not easy u know. anywho we danced a lil more, but cos we all had work the next morning, we had to leave early thats when we got to know that item number 7 was to be taken away, with a bottle of sparkling cidar abi wetin be the name again sef. anywho, we said our goodnites and my friends dad was like who is driving? since my friend had made a couple of rounds to the liquor stand. anywho, i was the designated driver. short story long, i saw my friends mum the next day"she also attended the party" and she was like,"wat time did we leave?", "the party was boring" and i was like we left around 2.30am but that it became better later on after she had left.

anywho thats a long summary of my the first ghanian party i experienced.

have a nice day.


MUMU Vera justt tagged me

1. Loss prevention at a drug store
2. Customer service (damn people are annoying)

1. that guy that does nothing and gets paid for it.
2. food taster at the cheesecake factory

1. Hotel Rwanda
2. Remember the Titans
3. Pirates of the Caribbean (the twice of them) Savvy!

1. iKeJA
2. Clinton,MD
3. NYC
4. Slanting Island

i'm not a TV person but...
1. The contender (wonder why they cancelled it)
2. Desperate House-Husbands
3. Sports (baseball, soccer, basketball, football, hockey, tennis)
4. Simpsons

1. Boston
2. North Dakota
3. Blair, Nebraska
4. Houston

4. The original TalkNaija "where running of the mouth is a pleasant treat"

1. Cinnamon toast crunch, abeg scratch that! Golden Morn(i got reunited with it at the african store on tuesday)
2. cheesecake from juniors
3. Amala and Ewedu
4. Isi Ewu/ Suya/ Pepper soup

1. Octopus (ate it once, didnt know wat it was till i was done, i looks like cornflakes after frying)
2. SALATU (Salads, i totally refuse to eat it) though i still owe missDBL a salad orgy
4. pork...

1. Mr. Biggs meat pie
2. Fan yogourt
3. agege bread with ewa agoyin
4. Amala from AMALA Extra (anyone familiar with lagos state university would know about this)
5. Obalende Suya/
6. Suya from the University of SUYA on allen avenue
7. suya from ikoyi club
8. zobo, palmwine, mudslide, call-a-cab, long island iced tea,

1. Bed
2. Cloths/shoes
3. study table
4. TV thats never on

1. everything that could make it better than urs

1. wristwatch on my right hand
2. white polo
3. tan pants
4. and my good old aso-oke boxers

1. on some exotic island far from Slanting Island

1. with the marines in ############.

1. missDBL (thots always)
2. My Families

1. why is this mumu vera making me do this
2. its 1.20am i should be marinating with sleep
3. sleep is happening to me, same goes for hunger
4. Thanking God for allowing me see another day

1. my Wristwatches
2. Shoes
3. phone

1. whoever
2. anyone who reads this and hasnt been tagged

yeah i know i need to complete my list of things, no be my fault, my head is heavy like a plate of Amala Shitta or is it Obalende suya (not the boot leg one they have in london). i'll be back later with my blog update.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

i'm just there...

its almost a week i updated this kinikon called a blog. y'all wont be mad at me o. a lot of things have happened between then and now. my co-worker passed away on sunday, she was found on the floor of her bathroom by her daughter. i wanted to go to the wake but my manager just had to give me this nonsense project to do. some say she might have had a heart attack in her bathroom and fell or maibe she just slipped and fell, one thing led to another and she passed. MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE! AMIN!

engineerAyo is confused o (thats why he hasnt blogged in a long minute) things aint going his way or at least no the way he would have wanted. he is hanging in there though. "a strong being is not the one who has all the muscles, a strong being is one who picks himself up after every fall."
anywho, i'll blog about it sooner than later. i just need some time to take a deep breath and say, "WHOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

anywho, my lamborghini eclipse friend had his party on sunday, got there late though, it was aiight. dont have much to say or better still i have a lot to say but i dont have words for them.

good nite y'all.

dont let the bedbugs bite, turn the table around and bite the bedbugs instead.

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Tale of the Cheap SCHMUCK...

hey peoples! hope u guys had loved my parade pictures? i havent updated this blog in a minute all i've been puting up is pictures and that i totally dont consider an update. enough of that jare. lets get down to the KOKO of the KINIKON.
theres this dude i work with, code name SCHMUCK. you probably be wondering why the name schmuck right, why not give a better name. no be my fault o. by the time u finish u'll realize that the guy needs help.
this is wat happened, a while ago, 3 months ago to be precise my ghanian passie got a job out in reno, nevada, so my italian friend V had a going away party for him and all. i heard it was fun but i didnt attend cos i was on vacation at missDBL's. anywho, pictures were taken by schmuck, my albanian friends Vally asked to have copies and schmuck sure agreed to get her copies when he gets them printed. mr. nice guy u might think. OH! did i mention that schmuck has been tring to get with vally since his quest to get my italian friend V got crushed by the much awaited proposal by her BF of 5 years. (the tale of schmuck and V is for another day)

moving along, since it was now clear to schmuck that V was finally out of the spinsters market, the next person he saw fit was Vally. he brothers her and all, calls her his wifey and all and overall he was annoying her.
I remember one day vally and L my other italian friend were talking, and talks about guys managed to creep into the talks. vally was like she likes this, this, that and that in a guy yada yada yada. L now finised up by saying, "and he has to have money too." V was like yeah but money aint everything. (which we all agreed) Schmuck had heard them talking and was like,"i have money, i have money, i could go cash in my stocks, bonds, etc etc" yeah schmuck actually does have stocks and bonds and all. who wont have such if he is a thirty something year old college grad, who lives with his mom, mortgage paid off in full, doesnt pay no bills, he doesnt even pay his own cell fone bill, no car insurance nor car note cos he doesnt even have a learners permit talk less of a license, goes on vacation with his mum, even when his mum goes on vacation for a whole two weeks there is no action in the house.

anyway, back to the KOKO! schmuck finally printed out the pictures he took for the going away party and printed copies for Vally(lover boy innit). the part that now got me fired up and acted as a catalyst to this, is that, HE COLLECTED $4 FROM VALLY FOR THE COPIES HE PRINTED FOR HER! WHAT A SCHMUCK HE IS! i mean common print her copies for free he cannot do, instead he pocketed $4 and to think the big schmuck still expected vally to agree to his proposals and sweet talks. the best part is his defence, he said," things would have been different if she was with him, but since she claims to have a man then .... my though at this point was that if he really wanted her and hoped one day her said man would suddenly become non-existent thus she would begin to dance to his makossa tune, the he should act like someone she can rely on to be a strong person to be with and not a CHEAP SCHMUCK!

thanks for reading, have a nice day.


i dey go fight this my friend (lanre) o. seriously! see as him use flag cover my face, is he trying to say my face doesnt make the cut or he thinks i'm trying to scope the kele not like she is not scope able but i have missDBL by my side so i dont know why he used style to substitute my face with a flag.

u see this picture here ehn! i put it up for a reason. reason being the weeks that preceded the parade, there was noise that ramseh got into a motor cycle crash in SA or something like that. they went ahead to say the guys face would need reconstruction and all that orisirisi talkings. so when i saw him at the parade i was like no be the person wey some people wan swear say him face don scatter be this. cos if na surgery him come do for NY, those surgeons must have put fertilizer or is it quickfix on his face for it to have been back to normal within this quick minute. people and there talks. anyway, my advice to people out there, please dont spread gist that u cannot back up. soon they would spread gist that obasanjo is the presidential servant and not the president. nonsense and maggi.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

More Pictures. Enjoy!

these are some pictures i got from someone. i'll post some more of ours when i get them from my buddy who has the cam.

Ramseh noah is the one in the white tshirt on the far right next to the kaduna state sign

I'll be back with more!

By popular demand

kingley(lamborghini eclipse owner)
L-R: lanre, theodore, dada, fancy, lola, ben, onome
squatting: random dude, captain naija

thats the much talked about lamborghini eclipse. my passie cherishes this car more than woman. maibe thats why he is single.

expect more picture y'all. my camera disgraced me so i got to get pics from my passies camera.

Post Parade Report...Part II

People! i'm back for the second part of my report. i've been away due to the hang under i had from my paparazzi wahala. anyway, hope y'all had fun reading so far. if you did then i guess i didnt do a good job, cos i tried to make it as uninviting as possible.
moving on, there was an RV parked on 44th street, right on Kudirat Abiola corner (yeah thats wat the street corner at the nigerian embassy is called). there was this lady standing outside it yelling, "FREE HIV TESTING! FREE HIV TESTING! RESULTS OUT IN 30MINUTES!" or somn close to that. i was like, wat would make all these people wanna get tested on parade grounds when all they have in their heads is having fun and catching fishes. run the risk of a potential fish seeing u go in and out of the RV. anywho, the lady distributed free gloves for those wey no fit hold body. come see as this one dude load am like say him go sell am. abi sey na use him wan use am finish. all by himself? anywho watever floats his canoe. that one pass and my people and i were chillin on the sidewalk o na so we hear noise and saw people running. a close up revealed to me that it was good old ramseh noah o. groupies were running after him ni o. with all the shielding from NYPD (na so talk say naija galaxies not stars get international absence) even heard some saying they wont wash their hands again cos he shook them. i say GOOD FOR THEM! STINK MY SISTER! STINK ON! the guy na nice guy i dont have anything against him. (i still have a skeleton to pick with naija rumor mills as regards his accident o)
i walked back up 44th st and heard some people got arrested for protesting the presence of governors and SINNERtors. i heard them chanting GOVERNORS GO HOME! GOVERNORS GO HOME! i guess some people got uncomfortable after a while and organized NYPD to take care of the innocent people exercising their right to be heard. i was gonna talk about some random chick but her own kinikon is not important so imma skip her like americans skips the letter T when pronouncing the word WATER. yeah we calling WA'ER.
my passie didnt bring his much talked about car but u guys trust me. i wont rest till i get to publish a whole book about that car. he said the rear wheels were making noise et all. so i was in the shop and to think i was gonna collect money from people to see the car at the parade(a brother got to make a buck or millions now. just see it as Pay Per View) he is having his birthday party on sunday though so urs trully would be there to report all the reportables and pictures would be taken.
Finally, we left the parade venue after all the happenings that we thot was going to happen. we hoped on the subway to connect with the ferry to slanting island. got off the ferry and walked to our illegal parking spot got in our limo and drove home.(talk about taking every mode of transportation just to honor nigeria. HOW MUCH MORE PATRIOTIC DO THEY WANT ME TO BE?) anywho while all this was happening we decided that when we got home we were gonna have a ISI-EWU ORGY. and sure enough we got home, ordered isi-ewu and some of us ordered some goat meat peppersoup. sad thing was that my nonsense passies had finished the palmwine that they bought. if not our isi-ewu orgy would have been over complete. but anywhich way we still had a scatterBlast, blastScatter whichever one u want me to call it. it was totally awesome, my fellow blogger, dont worry i ate ur own share if the ISI-EWU being the nice and caring person i am. i always remember y'all in ur time of need.

for those early planner who want to start preparing for next year. the parade would be on saturday september 29th 2007. May Allah spare our lives till then. Amin.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

LOVE 350 and LOVE 509.. Part 2

welcome back, i know some of y'all wanna kill me already for making u have to finish up ur reading b4 u read the concluding chapter. while some peoples cant wait to comment and say stuff. all well.....

continuing from where i stopped, our minds are so made up that our ready made opinion about guys helps us attract guys with the same exact demenour that we dont want. why cant we approach every guy with a clean sheet and see what comes out of it.

As regards naija guys dissing naija girls. its somewat of the same thing with a lil extra somn somn. look my gorgeous woman-beings, some guys date and expect somn somn from u (i know they gonn think i'm selling them out) but its the truth. the minute the girl doesnt give it up we start to complain. its worse if our ex's have been chicks that all they want is a man who can KEREWA all day all night. thus within a short minute of our previous relationships, we have been able to get wat we want, how much longer we stay with her is not the point but the fact that it was given up hassle free is wats the koko. we are loving things till we start to realise that, we needs to start getting serious and work towards increasing the worlds population in our own lil way. we know awesomely well that our mama would dis-son us if we came home with "mummy hi" or in short anything other than a naija wifey. We start to pull away from our KEREWA buddy and she knowing wat she wants from her men, starts doing the next guy that comes along thereby giving us the reason to want out. Short story long, we would break up with miss and embark on our quest for our miss nigeria, our nigerian queencess.
here is where the confluence of the two rivers (river naija guy and river naija girl) is located. they both know time is not in their favor, they both want some of wat they enjoyed in the past relationships but wont want to compromise by letting go of those things and approaching each other fresh like mama toyin bread. then u have it, the naija guy bashing and naija girl dissing contest kicks in.
we should all stop being in denial of the fact that we would love to get married to someone nigerian, stop all this venting, fronting, backing and in some cases siding all in the name of trying to create a front in our quest for our dream naija husband or wifey while we also eliminate the weakest links that might wanna act like the strongest.

thanks for coming to class today. we shall see next time out. but till then i remain the only accountant whois a member of NSBE (national society for black engineers) with the name EngineerAyo. thank you and have a nice week.

LOVE 350 and LOVE 509

hey my fellow man-beings and woman-beings. how una dey? hope y'all dey gbadun. we thank god o. me sef i dey a rice take dey inside plate. KAMPE! anywho, i was talking to my buddy Lee the other day and we got talking about naija forums, blogs and all its online bruhaha. she had noticed how more than a handful of naija female bloggers had somn to say about men, relationships, cheating boyfriends and unrepentant ex's and the whole 100 yards. this led us to the usual battle of the sexes threads you find on most naija forums. how all you hear is naijaguys this, naijagirls that, naijagirls this, naijaguys that. this has led to threads that make you wanna break a pc or somn. yeah u know wat i'm talking about dont u, i'm talking about the,"why are naija guys heartless?", "why are naija girls in the US lonely?","all naija guys are dumb","why do naija girls front too much?""naija girls act like they are the koko when they are not more than the kokoro" ati be be lo.
you would be surprised what these people have come to think of each other. its such that their generalization sometimes include their 3month old nieces and nephews who could barely keep their minds off breast milk. all in the name of painting naija guys and girls as being no good to each other. i know not everyone is into this kinikon but i wont be surprised if some of those bitter somebodies call for my head the minute they read this. but i ask them this, wat is my mouth for if it cannot say wat my head thinks about this whole naijaguy VS naija girl contraption.
i could also go on and on and start running my mouth about naija guys or naija girls or even the twice but me i dont have time for all their "why did the chicken cross the road stories" mixed in with their various arguments for and against.
what i have to say though is this, my only explanation to this whole thing is this, most of US are gradually realizing that we are no longer rug rats and sooner than later the pressure of getting settled, having a family, increase the worlds population etc etc would set in. the problem now is this, we all know deep down inside us that we mos def wanna end up with a naija person, but fact of the matter is that the lousy people (choices) we have made as regards the people we have dated or chosen to date is somewhat tormenting our being out of our sensible minds. most of us that engage in this naijagirl dissing, naijaguy bashing sessions have at one point in our pasts dated a nigerian. as much as i dont want to assume, i would still be right to say that our experiences havent been the best. it might have ended in heartbreak (or lung ache as some of us like it) but i ask you if u were blind when u decided to date him or her. do i hear u say he wasnt like that when y'al started talking and dating. OK! i agree with u but that just one person wat about guy #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,...#100. if they all started sweet and turned sour then should we all check ourselves cos i think the problem lies with us and not them. SIMPLE ENGLISH...your choice of guys or girls is rated -0 on the engineerAyo siasmic scale of 1 - 10. meaning u dont kinda sorta know how its doing you. u disagree dont you? aiight i give u the once again back down and agree that they were all no good, lying omo mummies. but dont generalize by saying all naija guys are the same and no good. most people do this and approach guys with this mind set then you wonder why guy #101 kinda sorta dont wanna date u even though you know he mos def wat u want and meets all ur pre-requisites for dating or marriage sef and sure better than guy 1-100 in all departments.

i'll finish up in part 2. till then i remain ur one and only engineerAyo

Post Parade Report...Part I

hey people! how una dey o. its been quite a minute. the nigerian day parade was awesome, not without its usual orisirisi, but overall it was aiight. I got to see a whole bunch of nigerians in the same place all at once,(that hardly ever happens except at owambe sha o) with their different shades of green. my proples and i made the best out of it, my buddy odukun from MD came to NY with her friends although she jabo me went to hand out with whoever. she shall be dealt with accordingly.
moving on, there were a couple of faces present, Ramsey Noah (with all his groupies running after him) Regina Askia, Nnenna from ANTM was there too. whoelse did i see sef, a whole bunch of PoliSTEALtians as always, sINnators, orisirisi Governators. i didnt even bother to know who they were or wat state they were from. they all came for "state visit" abi sey na "official visit" them call am sef. senator florence ita-give of cross rivers state was there, u wonder how i take know her name and all innit. it was my friend BB that was like some sINnator kinikon kinikon was on the stage and i was like oh that woman i no like am, as i no like all sINnator and she was like she ugly anyway after u take off the make up or somn like that.
as NYPD held up traffic on 2nd ave cos we nigerians were doing our thing, a portion of 44th street was closed to traffic bcos of WE! not often do streets get closed to traffic cos of stuff like that, instead they'll close streets gue to scheduled destruction(construction) but destruction sounds better in my ear cos thats exactly wat i think tehy are doing.
Anywhichway, some guy tried to rip me the gutt off by trying to sell me a framed portrait of FELA ANIKULAPO KUTI, funny thing is the vendor sef was not naija. u might wanna know how much he wanted to bankrupt me with, 187,500 nigerian naira or 1500 american dollars. somebody help me ask him how he was able to figure that nigerians would be willing to pay that amount for a portrait at a parade when they know quite well that come sunday(parade was saturday) the price wont be the same again. anywho after i heard the price, my next question was oga u dey take credit. cos he must have smoked somn good to have actually thot nigerians would pay that amount for a portrait without any price negotiations like say na isale-eko market them dey.

all well, theres more to talk about o. i did my paparazzi work well well. i didnt rest cos i knew i couldn't afford not to get y'all orisirisi information for y'all. there still talk on the lamborghini style door eclipse, the random chick that tht she was all this and 2kobo, the parked RV, my comments about ramseh noah, the food, pictures and watever else happened after the parade. meanwhile u guys have to hold on a minute i have to go give my LOVE 509 and LOVE 350 lecture. stay tuned and dont change your dial as we say on NTA or in your own case dont close that brower window neither should u leave my blog. I no serious right, just say it already i know thats what you are thinking.

Off to class i go.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Nigerian Day Parade!

hey! its almost october 1st, it would be the 46th year since naija gained its independence from mama charley land. not like i'm excited about it or anything cos those in the curruptDOORS of power dont give me any reason to be excited.
AnyWhichWay, the nigerian day parade is on saturday and imma be there as your one and only news paparazzi. there would definitely be gist to report cos between my fellow naija guys and girls acting like they are all this, their fronting and backing for each other and the orisirisi kinikon that would happen. there sure would be enough to run my mouth about.
my guy, Fox was talking about coming over to NY with some members of the fela boys club so we might be setting up our own fela boys corner. he never got back to me though but watever happens sha, i'll let y'all know. i sure wont mind gyrating to some afrobeat on saturday since some of my people aint coming to NY no more.

my passies friends are coming from outta state cos of the parade, so i guess we'll go shoot pool, bowl, play darts, or somn tomorrow nite since i aint going for the miss independence day pageant abi wetin una dey call am. but i promise you that it is on, on saturday. i'll be at the parade live and direct(so long God doesnt have other plans for me). meanwhile stay tuned for my LOVE 350 and LOVE 509 class. i have to combine those two classes cos i want a large class size. you know the way we have it in naija where there are over 500 students taking the same course with only one professor and no mic to amplify the professors bedroom voice. exactly that how i want it.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I shall not be tempted!

Hey y'all! kilon wassup? i was gonna say nohin had happened to me lately but just when i started typing, i remembered this miss who was hitting on me yesterday. My day started off just ok. i thanked God for allowing me the priviledge of seeing another day. did the usual morning ritual and went to get my alumni card so i could have access to their pc, unlimited paper for printing and all (stuff i paid for and hardly ever used while i was still a student). anywho i got that done, got back to the carpark only to find that some nonsense hound had given me a parking warning. the guy no even fear. giving a whole engineerAyo warning. what arant nonsense! all well i left and went to my friends mum's african store. she was there by herself thus i ended up helping her with some of the customers present. next thing o, this customer she was helping walked up behind me, looked at me for a minute and was like, "do u work here?" and i answered, yes, i do. how may i help u, wat do u want or somn like that. Na so she open mouth o, "i want you!" her buddy who came in with her was like, "he looks young" (yeah i dont look my age, got them good genes in my system). she was now like, "i dont care, he looking hmmm! hmmm!" att his point i was thinking in my head, rewind back to 7months ago when engineerAyo was single and wasnt fasting. little did she know she was playing with kinikon.
anywho, i just ignored her and went on with my bidness. hopefully she wont keep coming back to the african store looking for me later on and start the stalking process. Amen! she aint gonn get anywhere anyway cos i got my one and only missDBL and she sure is all the different shades of sexy(overwhelmed abeg no sharge me for copyleft infrindgement o) that i ask for.

have a nice nite y'all.

sleep is happening to me early today.

Monday, September 25, 2006

R.I.P. Uncle...

was gonna blog about the nigerian day parade coming up on saturday and also give u an update about my passies mitsubishi eclipse but i cant no more. my uncle passed away sometime last week and i just found out today.(my mum and aunt didnt want my sister and I to know) it was my other uncle who called my sister and told her and she told me. i've been moody on and off since i got the news. i dont really know the details though but i know he has been ill on and off for quite a long minute now. he fought back hard and almost came up tops but alas he couldnt go all the way. i'm going to call my mum today though. i need to know how his wife and kids are taking things and if they have told my grandma yet. he has been buried though. May Almighty Allah grant him paradise. Amin.

"from him we have come and to him we shall return"

Sunday, September 24, 2006


man-beings and woman-beings of this blogonosphere (see me speaking big oyinbo) i salute u o. i've not been here in a minute, partly because i've not really been running around this contraption called internet lately. i just speed thru most times like i speed thru free toll booths. and moreso its the month of Ramadan and i've been engaging myself with more religious stuff (guess some of y'all didnt know i was a muslim) all well now u know. anywho, my passie with the eclipse is back in full swing. the eclipse has been fixed and it made its first public appearance today. although ur one and only engineerAyo wasnt there to weakness the kinikon. anyway, my turn go soon come. he is driving the eclipse to school tomorrow and just cos of y'all i'll go there just to interview the eclipse on how it feels to have lamborghini style doors. pictures and autographs would be collected so stay tuned.

Maa Salaam...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

LOVE 101

people make noise all the time about love this love that and the question "how do u know if u are in love?" always comes up. After all has been said they ask u for ur opinion. i have taken it upon myself in my own giantly little way to help with this quest for finding or knowing when true love is felt.
OK here goes! all this one wey una dey ask for people opinion about how love take be, na second hand una go get. nobody can define love for u. u have to define it yourself, do i hear u ask me how. ok make i talk. sit back, take a deep breath and say whooooooosaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! u done that innit. cool! now get a list of things that u hate the most, the things that make u throw up, or as the cliche goes," the things that turns u off in females or males" whichever applies and if it both then i can't really help u in that department. now that u have that, its time for elimination method, the one u've been using b4 now is substitution method. if anyone of these people u want to know if u love them or not has all these things that get u disgusted the most and u still cannot stop thinking about them and can't stop feeling all what u feel for them then i guess u got yourself some GOOD SHIT right there. thats enough for now the KOKO of the HEAD of this whole contraption called love is self defined. if i start to talk now we wouldnt finish.

and to those of u that go into relationships thinking u can change the other person, u are the begining of the end of such relationships, u might wanna know why my opinion is such. i'll sure tell u... if i say i dont understand ur pain when u think u can change someone or mold someone into wat u consider perfect, i would be doing u a great injustice.
i totally understand u like i understand that food does not go into the nose. but there is also another factor in this equation, i didnt mention it earlier but its present. trying to change someone, yes thats possible. but what makes what u feel what it is, is your accepting them without even trying to change who they are. problems in relationships most times arise from one of the players trying to change some attribute of the other player, and if they don't succeed then friction is bound to come up, kinetic energy is produced which would later transform to heat energy, the heat then builds up till it cannot be contained any longer. thus, a melt down occurs and it mos def would lead to letting go although u know deep down inside u that u could make things work out if u want it to.

have a nice day y'all.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The end of something good

hey there! its been a minute innit. i've been caught up with a whole bunch of kinikon i cannot even explain. didnt have no sleep last night, got somn on my mind since last nite. thus the reason why i couldnt snooze. i'll keep u updated though. anywho, i brought u guys some update abi sey na downdate on my friends lamborghini doors fitted eclipse. yeah u know the one i was talking about a lil minute ago. the said lamborghini doors have been fitted successfully but the yawa now is that the eclipse wasnt compatible with the lamborghini, it is having allergic reactions and these allergic reactions has led to infections have caused eclipse to become brain damaged(engine no gree work again) and has packed up finally. u wonder wat i mean by pack up. its easy to figure out now. the eclipse is now stale news. it doesnt work anymore, engine problem. now u see why i say if it aint broken dont fix it. short story long my dude is replacing brain damaged eclipse with a BMW seven series. u see thats wat i'm talking about. one basement window close another garage door open.

i got to go now. i've got some phone calls to make.

have a great day.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

If it aint broken don't fix it

people! people! people!
i dont know how come i have a handful of friends who are loco, some are naturally loco while some just act loco or do things that only loco people do. do i hear u ask me why i think of them like this. its simple some of them do stuff that cannot be explained. theres this friend of mine, he is the son of one of those people in naija that own luxury buses that make them long distance trips. this one is more into the lagos- benin route. anywho, this dude doesnt work right, why he doesnt i dont know, but i know his father downloads money to his pocket whenever he needs. the koko of my concern is that this dude uses his money for stuff a normal person wont do. do i hear u say wats my own is it my money or is it my father that is downloading money to his pocket. it sure aint my father but when people start to do irrational stuff then it means their heads don dey need lubrication.
OK! u guys tell me wat u think about this friend of mine. he drives a mitsubishi eclipse right. u know how small a mitsubishi eclipse is dont u. u do, aiight cool. u cant imagine wat this guy has installed in this poor car o. ranging from neon lights on the rims and underneath the car to TV/DVD/satelite radio/CD player. lowering it so it could get closer to the ground, 90 of trunk space is occupied by a giant size speaker, navigation system sef dey. help me ask am where him dey navigate go o. all he does is come to school, go home and maibe once in a while hangout with us his passies. where he got the idea that he needed a navigation system to do this everyday things i dont know. actually that one is minor compared to wat this dude is up to now. u wanna know dont u? i'll sure tell u. the said car is in the shop, and it aint that its broken and needs fixing. dude is having lamborghini style doors installed. u know them doors that open up instead of out right. yes those ones o. how much he is paying i'll let y'all know as soon as i paparazzi that one out. but the part that is paining me in this whole loco-ness is that, due to our eclipse being in the shop for a not needed makeover, dude has been taking freaking metro to school. yes o, he has been taking all the modes of transportation u were thot in primary 1 except for flying, he takes the subway (train), ferry, bus, he even waka join sef, so ask me again why i think my friend is loco. i told u about DD who called his pastor to speak with his mum cos she is against his relationship right. that one i'mma go get a update on happenings tomorrow. hopefully i'll get something. anywho i thinks imma drop my car off at the shop too, i dont know wat i'll have installed but i sure will have somn installed. join the loco-ness y'all. satisfaction guaranteed or ur money wasted.

goodnite y'all, going to dream about the makeover i'm having done to my car tomorrow. i might even dream of more stuff i could do to it.

Three Pints of Guiness

Three Pints of Guiness...
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me..."
"...I've quit drinking!"

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

NIPOST don show me sege metala

i need help for real. i dont know wats wrong with me o. i mailed my home fone bill with no postage stamps, no wonder they have been calling my house and it wasnt like i didnt have stamps sef. anyway sha they returned my bill to me, my question is, isnt it the same 39cents they require to deliver it to the fone company that they used in sending it back to me? dem don craze gonn o. why couldnt they just simply deliver it free of stamp and call it a day. hopefully i wont be past due by the time they get it. but these people mean o. all well, i guess i'll take the fone company's offer and start paying my bills online and if they ask me for stamp again then i know they want me to sepelize for them.

Stupid people...

I know we all meet orisirisi people everyday, and I know we all know that one person who thinks they are the shit meanwhile they aren't up to my shit. I have had contact with a whole bunch of them. To some extent I feels its more of being an olodo than actually being stupid. I has this coworker who always acted like she was the top bitch maibe cos she had a fat ass and every guy around tried to get some and got some. not like I have anything against her or anything but my filosophy is if u can claim to be the biggest shit around then have the brains to support ur claim. In my own books she was the stupid hot shit that everyone wanted to get in her pants. U might wonder why I think of her this way. I'll sure tell U. She proved herself to be the stupid hot shit some long minute ago at work. na so I sit my own jeje o and she was like "wat time is it" and I was like ten minutes to eleven. she turns around and was like "and wat does that mean?" I looked at her confused like wat does she mean by "wat does that mean." she repeated herself and this time she was like,"wat time is that?" I said once again ten minutes to eleven. at this point she looked like she wasn't ok to me or better still I thot she was messing with me. I walked away and was giggling as I walked. she called me back and asked why I was laughing. at this time she had on this look on her face that had wat is wrong with this dude. I was like wat does she want me to do. She asked me a question and I answered shikena. na wetin concern fish with contraceptive. she say ok wats the time? And I was like some minutes to eleven. na so she talk say she no understand wetin I dey talk o. Meaning I should tell her the time in the 10:50(ten:fifty) format that she doesn't understand wat I meant by ten minutes to eleven. At this point I now understood her problem, and the only thing I could come up with was that she couldnt tell time. cos how hard is it to understand ten minutes past eleven. anywho sha wat can I do. I cannot teach her time not at that age. instead I would have recommended that she go back to 2nd grade and collect thetuition her parents paid cos she got ripped off.
these people always get me wired up though. theres this other time I was tryingt o sell a generator to this customer of mine. I was explaining to them how to use it and all o. and I was like this is the gas tank I could hold up to 5 gallons of gasoline. next thing I heard was, "do I have to put gas in it" I was like Yes, u do. and the next thing I heard was, "I don't want to deal with gasoline don't you have electric" see me thinking in my head that how can someone think of producing electricity with electricity during a power outage. anyways we will all learn one day one day. enough of this talk about olodo people sef. they will be fine.

fingers hurt, have a nice midnight

Food 4 Thought

yes o! i am craving mr biggs meat pie, and its thanks to VERA who talked about her cravings o. since i read about her cravings i've been fantasizing about having me some meat pie buffet. i know my friend ALOIB wouldnt wanna hear me talk about any kind of nigerian meals, hopefully she wont kill me when she reads this.
talking about nigerian meals its been a minute i fixed me some amala and ewedu (salivating already) it is on this weekend. amala and ewedu is wat imma eat this weekend. DAMN FOOD IS GOOD! tell me u dont agree and i'll talkabout food some more.
last week, we were at my friends place cos it was their dads birthday and all. we got talking and gisting, na so we gist reach food o. their dads friend was telling us about naija restaurants here in the states, and was describing this naija place in houston (little did they know i had marked attendance there) at first i didnt want to blow up my spot. but the man forgot the name of the place and was cracking his brain trying to remember the name of the place. BAM! engineerAYO to the rescue. i was like i know the place, my friends looked at me like waka waka, how u take reach houston. i was like its called FINGER LICKING BUKATERIA and its on BISONET street abi se na avenue in houston. he was like yeah thats the place, how could i forget a place like that, where the ogunfe(goat meat) was first class. even ordered their FISH TO GO that one sef na killer. OH! LA! LA! FOOD IS GOOD! there is this other one is baltimore, peju's their suya was something to remember. their amala nko that one had honors degree even my uncles philippino wife couldnt resist the force of Amala and ewedu.
anywho sleep don dey catch, i'll keep y'all updated on my quest for tantalizing naija restaurants in the continental US. hopefully sooner than later i'll bring back the good news i'll find at "ASO ROCK"and "GOOD COMBINATION" both in brooklyn,NY. but till then i remain your one and only engineer who majored in accounting and loves FOOD like there is no tomorrow.
good nite y'all. men i'm hungry after all this food talk. chei! and i cant cook at this 15million o'clock.

Monday, September 11, 2006

"Can i have u for a fling"

Heart breaks! Relationships! et all! people get heart broken due to many reasons. its not always the fault of the dumper neither is it always the fault of the dumpee. depending on how the players in relationships approach what they intend to have or wat they have, i think we could have less heart breaks or in some cases lung breaks. you might wonder where this is heading right. i bet u, u cannot even imagine. read on to find out.

ok peoples lets examine this together and see if it makes sense. or better still lets see if we could make sense out of the nonsense i have to say.

i think life/relationships would be better if guys make their intentions known to the girls right from the get go. my highschool of thought thinks guys should walk up to females and state wat their intentions are direct with no detours of any sort. e.g. A guy sees some chick he is interested in but his interest is not more that a quick fling. i think the guys words to the chick should be, Hi, i like you, wouldnt mind having a fling with u. and if the chick is feeling him the she should go ahead with it and same goes for the girls, if a guy approaches you and all u want from him is a fling then let him know by answering him with; i kinda like you too but all i want is a fling. and if the guy is also down with it, the floor is all theirs they could dance all they want.
this way both sides know wat they are getting into since they are both ok with the terms.
this leads me to the KOKO of the problem with relationships, heart breaks, lung cracks and wateverumacallit. most girls want promises that cannot be kept, same goes for guys, the minute the promises cannot be met friction is bound to come up, kinetic energy is produced which would later transform to heat energy, the heat then builds up till it cannot be contained any longer. thus, a melt down occurs.

wat am i driving at, simple as ABC, its about time guys and girls start making their intentions known from the get go. statements like these would make things a lot easier CAN I AHVE YOU FOR MARRIAGE, CAN I HAVE YOU FOR A FLING, CAN I HAVE YOU AS A HAND BAG, CAN I HAVE YOU AS MY ASSISTANT BOYFRIEND, etc etc etc....

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Its my birthday!

yeah its my birthday today! i know some of y'all might wanna know how old i became. sure i'll tell u, i'm one year older. anywho today was aiight sure better than the last couple of birthdays i have had. my birthdays for the last three years i've been in school all day. so having to work today for just six hours was like a birthday gift of some sort.
i didnt do much, just hung out with my passies after i got off work, order food to go (i aint cooking nohin for nobody) and returned the calls of everyone who called me. more people actually called me on this birthday than i the last few years. i'm waiting for my gifts. i dont want anything i wont use so VERA if u think that nonsense 99cent store hausa perfume u bought would be accepted u must be smoking wat u cannot drink.

wat else has been happening outside my birthday, lets see (thinking) nothing really. yeah my uncle is ill and has been in the hospital for two days now. he simply went for a checkup o and they said his BP was high na so they admit am o. anyway i pray he get out soon cos me personally i have being admitted. i think all thru my life i've only been admitted maximum 3 times and that is if u count the times i slept overnight and was back home the next morning. hopefully he'll be back home by tomorrow.

good nite y'all.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Shit is happening o!

hey people! una well done o! how body? hope say body dey inside cloth. oh! i forgot its not only broken english speaking readers i have. dont be mad get glad. All i said was how are y'all doing? and asked if y'all were aiight and shit.
a lot of shit is happening o. i call it shit cos thats wat it tastes like. u might ask if i tasted it. i didnt but the way it smells has shit written all over it. i see some of all you amebo's and news hounds have started taking positions and warming up ur ears or in this case ur eyes.
before i start talking about the shit of a thing i wanna talk about, i want y'all to know that i've been somewhat in a mourning state since steve irwin (crocodile hunter) got stung by a sting ray. one thing is that we would all die one day but we all should pray not to die in ways that would hurt. if someone had told him he was gonna be killed by a sting ray he would probably have placed a bet with his life that, that wont be possible. but then it has happened and it has happened. MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE.

i think there is some setup in this thing though. i might be wrong but i think its a clique of crocs that paid the sting ray to do their dirty work for them, u know now, the way NIGERIAN poliSTEALtians pay people to do their political killings for them. i think its some croc who had a bone to pick with steve that cooked up the whole thing. i might be wrong about the croc and stingray conspiracy but i sure am damn right when i say these NO GOOD, SELF_ENRICHMENT AIM HAVING, NO USEFUL CONTRIBUTION HAVING, GOOD FOR KILLING nigerian poliSTEALtians who snuff out their opponents or anyone they deem an opponent all in the name of getting into the CURRUPTdoors of power.

Anyways i will be back to shed more light on my views about nigerian poliTRICKS, poliSTEALtians, assHOLES rock (the nigerian equivalent of white house) and trust me i have a lot to say.

meanwhile lets talk about some of the shit thats is happening.
it all started last Xmas eve. we had this rocking house party right, and b4 the end of the night some of our friends were doing lovey dovey. we didnt read anything to it after all the liquor they had consumed we thot it was the gray goose and hipnotiq they had that was kicking in.
only for my female friend(lets call her BB) to end up sleeping in my male friends(lets call him DD) house that night. we woke up on xmas morning to hear that BB was aiight and was having a chat with DD's mum. all well we were like its all good, its nothing. by new years day they were dating and we were all like ok. this is a good start to 2006!

after a while, DD hardly ever stayed in school. if he dont have class he is in brooklyn at BB's house. sometimes we wont see him for almost two weeks, imet up with him a couple of times on his way to BB's place at about 11pm. young man would leave slanting island for brooklyn late at night just cos he has to be with BB. do i hear u say it is love? HELL maibe NO. thats actually not the problem, after a while DD stopped working and instead of him getting another job. he add that time to the time he spent at BB's.

even with that, nothing spoil or so it seemed. gradually the word on the street (i keep my ears close to the ground) was that DD hardly ever came home. all he did was come home on sunday morning go to church with his familia and be back out of the house in a jiffy. that still wasnt serious, but soon BB and DD got an apartment together and moved in together. do i hear u say they are married?

thats not my problem, actually none of this is my problem. its just that i heard that DD's mum is complaining and calling my other friend's fone telling her to tell BB to leave her son alone. and wat did BB say, yeah u guessed it "I LOVE DD" the nonsense DD even called a family slash pastors meeting on his mum cos she insists he should leave BB alone and that BB should stop using JAZZ for her son. this is where i come in the DD mama has said if BB dont leave her son she would go to naija and get "home help" i even heard that BB threatened to curse DD's mum out if she dont leave her alone. did i mention that BB is older than DD by about 3 years.

i don dey tire jare i'll continue next time.

y'all have a good night. make sure y'all bite the bed bugs.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


i went for my interview and i thik i aced it. now i'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope my fone rings sooner than later. the position is in MD too. i had to drive back and forth but then i got to do wat i got to do.

talking about MD, and driving back and forth. on my way back to NY yesterday i stopped by ODUKUN's place in BOWIE to say hi. the nonsense girl barely offered me a sit not to talk of food. but thats not even bad at all she is praying i get the job so she would have someone to bother. lil does she know that the job also comes with a restraining order against her. anyway she will learn one day.

i also called my friend FUNMIE to see wat she was doing so i could go hang out with her b4 i hit the road. she no carry fone. i had wanted to see her and VERA the trouble maker but i didnt get to. all well, there is always another time, plus we'll mos def see when they come to Ny for the nigerian day parade anyway.

i also heard ODUKUN's ex-BF is gonna be a celebrity. i actually need to call VERA to confirm it cos she is the information minister. watever she says has some lie to it but it could be TRUE LIES so i'll still ask her.

on my way back from MD right after the delaware memorial bridge na so this MUMU guy wan follow me race on top I-95, lil did he know that even if i decided to race him, he'll be eating my dust cos his nonsense ford taurus got nothing on me. anyway sha i didnt race him cos i wasnt ready to get some stupid ticket cos of his ass, plus a clean driving record is one of the things my future employers would look at now tha i'm done with the second interview.

Monday, September 04, 2006

shit hole!

na wa o! can somebody please help me find a way out of this shit hole called sears. i'm tired of their BS for real. anyways lil do they know that i'm on my way to better things. as i always say they will be fine and if they aren't they can kiss my ass and tell me the flavor.

talking about flavor, its been a while i went to the city to get me some ice cream.(havent been their since the winter) do i hear u ask why i would go into the city just cos of ice cream. trust me that shit is worth every bit of it. i dont only go all the way, i also have to wait at least a half hour b4 i can get a table. the place is SERENDIPITY III for no reason my friends and i have this nonsense unusual ice cream craving at 10pm at night during the winter. all well thats that about ice cream.

ernesto showed me pepper on saturday o. see as him dey blow like say him dey possessed. ask me how i knew. i was doing waka about ni o. i had to attend my cousins wedding, the cousin sef i never met him b4 o. but he is sha my cousin, i had to show face at all cost of plus my big aunty that came from chicago wanted to see me by anyhow possible.(last time she saw me was almost 15 years ago). and she also wanted to introduce me to some other cousins that were present. i was all for it anyway that way she would introduction me to the female ones there. u wanna know why, simple, so i wont start scoping my cousin. i don tire for this thing sef cos these days all men have to be careful b4 i go dey chase my cousin. anyways God would help us. AMEN!