Friday, September 08, 2006

Shit is happening o!

hey people! una well done o! how body? hope say body dey inside cloth. oh! i forgot its not only broken english speaking readers i have. dont be mad get glad. All i said was how are y'all doing? and asked if y'all were aiight and shit.
a lot of shit is happening o. i call it shit cos thats wat it tastes like. u might ask if i tasted it. i didnt but the way it smells has shit written all over it. i see some of all you amebo's and news hounds have started taking positions and warming up ur ears or in this case ur eyes.
before i start talking about the shit of a thing i wanna talk about, i want y'all to know that i've been somewhat in a mourning state since steve irwin (crocodile hunter) got stung by a sting ray. one thing is that we would all die one day but we all should pray not to die in ways that would hurt. if someone had told him he was gonna be killed by a sting ray he would probably have placed a bet with his life that, that wont be possible. but then it has happened and it has happened. MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE.

i think there is some setup in this thing though. i might be wrong but i think its a clique of crocs that paid the sting ray to do their dirty work for them, u know now, the way NIGERIAN poliSTEALtians pay people to do their political killings for them. i think its some croc who had a bone to pick with steve that cooked up the whole thing. i might be wrong about the croc and stingray conspiracy but i sure am damn right when i say these NO GOOD, SELF_ENRICHMENT AIM HAVING, NO USEFUL CONTRIBUTION HAVING, GOOD FOR KILLING nigerian poliSTEALtians who snuff out their opponents or anyone they deem an opponent all in the name of getting into the CURRUPTdoors of power.

Anyways i will be back to shed more light on my views about nigerian poliTRICKS, poliSTEALtians, assHOLES rock (the nigerian equivalent of white house) and trust me i have a lot to say.

meanwhile lets talk about some of the shit thats is happening.
it all started last Xmas eve. we had this rocking house party right, and b4 the end of the night some of our friends were doing lovey dovey. we didnt read anything to it after all the liquor they had consumed we thot it was the gray goose and hipnotiq they had that was kicking in.
only for my female friend(lets call her BB) to end up sleeping in my male friends(lets call him DD) house that night. we woke up on xmas morning to hear that BB was aiight and was having a chat with DD's mum. all well we were like its all good, its nothing. by new years day they were dating and we were all like ok. this is a good start to 2006!

after a while, DD hardly ever stayed in school. if he dont have class he is in brooklyn at BB's house. sometimes we wont see him for almost two weeks, imet up with him a couple of times on his way to BB's place at about 11pm. young man would leave slanting island for brooklyn late at night just cos he has to be with BB. do i hear u say it is love? HELL maibe NO. thats actually not the problem, after a while DD stopped working and instead of him getting another job. he add that time to the time he spent at BB's.

even with that, nothing spoil or so it seemed. gradually the word on the street (i keep my ears close to the ground) was that DD hardly ever came home. all he did was come home on sunday morning go to church with his familia and be back out of the house in a jiffy. that still wasnt serious, but soon BB and DD got an apartment together and moved in together. do i hear u say they are married?

thats not my problem, actually none of this is my problem. its just that i heard that DD's mum is complaining and calling my other friend's fone telling her to tell BB to leave her son alone. and wat did BB say, yeah u guessed it "I LOVE DD" the nonsense DD even called a family slash pastors meeting on his mum cos she insists he should leave BB alone and that BB should stop using JAZZ for her son. this is where i come in the DD mama has said if BB dont leave her son she would go to naija and get "home help" i even heard that BB threatened to curse DD's mum out if she dont leave her alone. did i mention that BB is older than DD by about 3 years.

i don dey tire jare i'll continue next time.

y'all have a good night. make sure y'all bite the bed bugs.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very funny. Can't stop laughing.