The mind of Engineer_AYO

sup all u woman beings, i know there is a warrant out for my arrest for not updating my blog for a long minute now. no be my fault o, it is laziness mixed with a whole bunch of things thats been keeping me away from blogvilla. anywho, hope u guys ahd a nice xmas, mines was BORING. but its about to be spiced up. bijou is coming to the big apple. she is meeting up with some of her friends. we probably would hang out and all. maibe go dancing, salsa, techno, zouk, soukous, ati be be lo. bijou wants an owambe to go to but unfortunately i'm not an owambe person. talking about bijou and her coming to the big apple, abeg u all should warm bijou o. she is trying me! she is seriously trying me! she has refused to organized some nice shrimp fried rice when she comes and to think i was about to make her a deal. the deal is that i'll supply her with ingredients for pepper soup and even supply myself to PA to fix her the pepper soup and she dey use me do shakara. u guys should warm her o! c...

I cant believe i'm doing this tag. Vera the next time you tag me abeg make sure its something i'd do and get paid doing it. if not,"dont even ask to bother" tagging me. OK 5 OR MORE WIERD AND NOT SO WIERD THINGS ABOUT ME. unce--- i smile all the time and i'm always in an upbeat mode. this isnt a problem but fact is even when i'm pissed i'll still be shining my teeth like i just brush them in 3weeks. twice... i wear my wristwatch on my right hand, it started when i got my first wristwatch some 18somn years ago and never looked back ever since. i dont eat cold food, not for nothing but if its not blazing hot, i cannot eat. finish cooking now and when i want to eat some half hour from now, i'd have to macrowave the thing b4 i can eat watever it is. thrice... i used to put ketchup on my pizza, dont know why but it kinda sorta tasted better that way. but now that i found gino's villa monte pizza. i dont need no ketchup cos that pizza is the hot shit. mo...

nice music videos, enjoy!

"Mr. Biggs is a Naughty Man" those were the words of my 4 year old niece (call her lil miss 'Mo) on one of the battle of the titans she had with her mum and dad. ok it all happened some months ago, my mum and my second mum were going out to XYZ (girls day out) and lil miss 'Mo was bent on tagging along. they didnt have a problem with it but her parents (my sister and her husband) didnt want her to go, their reason being she had school the next day or somn close enough. but b4 they could say shokolokobangoshe, lil miss 'Mo had takena nice shower, was dressed to kill and waiting for "ganma and ganma doto" thats wat she calls them. anyways, time came for them to leave, my sister and her husband still bend on derailing her plans out tagging along, sprung into action. parents: 'Mo dont go you know u have XYZ and XYZ to do 'Mo: sad faced, no reply, just keeps walking out the door. parents: we'll take you to the zoo (she loves animals) 'Mo: zoo,...

i was going to blog about some good stuff. but the abcnews report on scammers made nigeria kinda changed my blog route. for the record if u hear from the streets that i'm from benin republic please dont be surprised, na condition make cray fish bend. its not like i'm pissed or surprised at the report. the thing just caught me on the wrong foot and all. i'll be back later to blog about everything and everything i had intended to blog about initially. but in case you didnt see the report click on me http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2705157 or me http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2711477

how has ur weekend been so far? mine has been work work work (i need some distraction, abeg u, any takers?) anywho i just got back from JFK. the sight of people travelling brought up thots of how my xmas would be boring being in this NYC. i took my second mum to the airport. yes, i have two mums and no, she is not my step mum. two weeks ended faster than i could say shokolokobangoshe. the last two weeks have been fun though, although my sister had more fun with her than i did. work work work is all i do. simple english, a trip to JFK made the reality of not going to naija sink in deeper than i sank my teeth into this meatpie. what makes it worse is that i'm working against my wish and under duress for that matter. anyway i go beta we go buy toyota. i need help. i've started bottling things up again and i fear the next melt down might hurt more than i can handle. been searching for my outlet valve for some days now but i cant find it. i need to find it soon b4 kinikon and kiniyi...

yes o, its unofficially official! i finally recovered from my thanksgiving hangover. not like i over nourished or anything o but for some reason i've been having this severe case of excusitis which has been holding me back from blogging. anywho, people never seem to amaze me with the kinda things they do or say. i've come in contact with a lot of orisirisi people in this my simple life. i've met those that are willing to download their life history to u within a few minutes of meeting u and leaving no stones unturned at detailing things. anywho thats not the koko thats amazing me today neither is it their asking me why u have to put gasoline inside a generator and why not have an "electric" electric generator. anywho i hope that kinda gave all y'all a lil insight into the kinda people i meet on a daily basis. anywho, i met this lady today who wants to buy a treadmill for her DOG! yes, you read right, her DOG! said dog is a 3month old german shepherd who weigh...

hey yall, i havent been on here in a minute. i've been running around in circles trying to catch my turkey o. it tried to run away from but i finally got it on lock down now. that means i'll be having a turkey orgy tomorrow. sad i cant eat too much cos i'll have to be awake earlier than early on friday cos i got to be at work by 4.45am. DAM BO RO BA SHEGE! THIS COUNTRY NA NONSENSE!

i'm not a rape victim but i know of a certain miss lady who got gang raped. growing up, i watched, same as every chidi, dele, and mustafa, as you all took turns on her like the village bicycle. you all gang raped her, sucked out all the useful life in her milk factory till they made rotten paw paw feel like there was hope. you all gang raped her, passing her round like she was ur birth right, family inheriatnce and whateverumacallit. people cautioned u by saying she wasnt just for a select few, but you threw caution to the wind and tried to play god among men. you all gang raped her, by lying thru ur teeth, saying u were doing such and such in her best interest, tell me how and when did, dropping the soap in a male prison bathroom become a good thing for (BEST INTEREST OF) the new comers on the block. you all gang raped her, till the roaster got back to somewhat of a starting point. but this time out the rape wasnt done by all. some abstained, some didnt finish, while some just did...

hey y'all its YB's birthday today. i think she'll be some 20 somn years old now. she actually thot i had forgotten imagine. i know its been 8 years or less but then 8years aint enough to forget a birthdate is it. called to wish her a happy birthday and she was shocked i still remembered. asking me who told me and all that rice and beans. all well there are some things i forget, there are some i want to forget, and there sure are some i cant forget. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y.B....

first we were buddies then things grew between US two. you claimed you liked me just as liking you wasnt a bad idea... time passed, TA came into the picture you said he was a friend, you met thru TS things happened questions were asked you insisted he was "just a friend" he picked you up from work everyday he was still "just a friend" anytime i called, you were either in his car on your way to or from "somewhere" i wasnt born yesterday so i sure know bullshit when i saw one, i didnt actually have to taste it to figure it was bullshit he picked up ur fone a couple of times, he asked questions and i sure answered, to the best of my knowledge that is. then TA left you for TS claiming it was TS he wanted all the while not you, you were lung broken, you came whinning back to engineerAyo (mr. nice guy) your words were, "EngineerAyo see what TS did to me, i cant believe both of them could do such" you were quick to forget you had engineerAyo believe TA...

NB: your perception may vary depending on how sobber you are right now. the two pictures above helps us understand the effects of alcohol on male and female species give me one reason why u wouldnt support research saw this online and it just doesnt look right.

i finally fixed my pasta craving cells today. yes o, i've been craving pasta for like 6weeks now, if i was pregnant i'd have said it was due to the hormanal imbalance and all. but engineerAyo is nowhere near being female not to talk of being pregnant. anyways...today i specially ordered me a nice bowl (notice i didnt say plate) of pasta from gino's although my coworker brought me some macaroni pie. anywho, the pasta was awesome, i felt born twice while it lasted, not that it lasted long anyway. but it was tantalizingly awesome. next time i'll order a "ZOMBIE" to go with it, then that would really make my day. enough talk about food, FFF oshi. i got a call today about a job opening in parsipany, NJ. at first i was hesitant about the offer cos if u know where slanting island is, u'll know that parsipany aint no stone fling away. then u factor in rush hour traffic and snow days and what do i have, a contraption called a 90minutes commute. wat! engineerAyo doe...

are you that friend that stands by a friend during the good and not so good times... endangered specie you are are you that person that always listens... endangered specie you are are you that boyfriend/girlfriend that wont cheat even if ur life depended on it... endangered specie you are are you that guy or girl that would date someone not for what the person has but for who the person is... endangered specie you are are you that fellow that smiles no matter what breaking ball life hurls at you... endangered specie you are are you that fellow who would do favors without expecting anything in return... endangered specie you are are you that one person that makes life worth living for someone... endangered specie you are are you that stranger willing to sacrifice your sanity jsut so someone else could be sane... endangered specie you are are you that stranger that would treat a fellow stranger like yourself... end...

its a beautiful day out here on slanting island. the 2006 NYC marathon is today and the traffic situation is a day-mare. the slanting island expressway is pack bumper to bumper from start to finish and all the way into NJ. i had planned on going to the city today but i realised the subways are normally outta wack on weekends then factor in the marathon closures and u have chaos in the underground. anyways i have opted to stay aways from the city, the marathon and everything that comes with it. yeah, i finally met my cousins girlfriend this weekend. she is actually at the house right now. she seems like a nice person and i think she is quiet too. all well maibe when she gets to know engineerAyo a lil better she would know that engineerAyo is also a quiet fellow (y'all didnt know that did you) but has learnt to become as playful as we come. but could still be very quiet if he wants to be. anywho, talking about my cousins girlfriend, my lil cousin is going to be a uncle soon. yes his ...

the last couple of days have been somewhat like sour tasting soup being pumped down my throat without having a choice of throwing it back out. i am that kinda person who doesnt allow things of his past hinder what the future would bring, but lately the past has been creeping back into my system at such a pace that it has finally started melting me from the inside out. it would have been a different case if those that would have helped by donating their time to hear me out as i offload my gutts are there when they are needed. unfortunately they have better things to be bothered with than to be held down by engineerAyo's soul melting impurities. at some point it feels like they dont care, never cared, or stopped caring long b4 now. i read somn on overwhelmed's blog and i left a comment, but my comment was laced with somn. her response to me was,"i sense theres stuff in you that you have to express..." i read her response and i thot about it for not so long a minute. YES...

sup y'all, i haven't blogged in quite a long minute. its note like i dont have stuff to blog about but the fact is whenever i get to this contraption about the life of engineerAyo, i just turn around and read other peoples blogs instead. e.g. as i type i have vera, bijou, and overwhelmed's blogs opened on other windows. i came to tell y'all about the lil red capri pants and wat them pants do or did to my system and also talk about my coworkers custom made JACK DANIEL BROWNIES but thots of sunday's plane crash just keeps hopping, skipping and jumping back into my head. My friends lost their step-dad in it and we've all been kinda playing things down but we all know things alright. hopefully something would be done to the aviation sector to make it a lot safer sooner than later. and sooner than later wont be until half the population of nigeria get sacrificed. and if they dont have any solutin to it. I SAY WE SHOULD WIRE UP THE BRAINS OF OUR LEADERS AND THE TRIGGE...

hmmm, where do i start? i accompanied my sister to traffic court today, we had to fight a ticket she got about two months ago. the cop gave her a ticket for no reason even after she pleaded with him and even mixed it with her sorry face. the cop no buy am o. anywho, she pleaded not guilty. Thus, we went to court today to fight the ticket out. we got to the DMV on slanting island and she was like,"i pray that cop doesnt come to court so they could throw out the case." while we were waiting the nonsense OLOPA(cop) just appeared from nowhere o. her lungs just did a cart-wheel. but trust engineerAyo, i was like we got this. anywho, the court proceedings started and the first two cases heard by the judge were thrown out cos the olopa who gave them their tickets didnt have all his paperwork ready. then it was our turn, come and see the acceptance speech this nonsense olopa of a guy had as his paperwork. damn, was he a SUM-of-a-shit. anywho, judge asked if there were any weakness, t...

i dont have much happening around me at the moment, or at least nothing i would want to talk about for now. hopefully soon i would spill my gutts or forever hold my peace. i got to work "ON TIME" today and went to drop off my coat in the locker/coat room after strolling in about 10minutes late. i was hanging up my coat and somn prompted me to look up. i noticed some shinning matter on the shelf above the coat hanger. A closer examination of the specimen, i noticed it was a chrome plated or stainless steel object. hmmmmmmmm. the detective in me made me look with keen interest. that was when i got the shocker of the morning. it turned out that the said shinny matter was nothing more than a VIBRATOR aka DILDO aka LIL'JOHN. the other fellow in the coat room was said, "its been there for a minute," and i was like for real. i havent been in the coat room for a long minute now, cos i leave it in the car most times, but did my bringing it in today give me something to t...

hey peoples, kilon wassup? its been a minute. i've been blog-deprived for a minute now, but i'm back. read my update about DREAM STEALERS and make sure u comment or forever hold you peace. EID-MUBARAK to all my muslim reader. May the almighty accept fasts as an act of IBADA.AMIN. talking about fasting, not eating and all that. i think my body doesnt know wat they call lunch anymore o. abeg any doctors in the blogonostosphere should help an engineer out. i ate yesterday afternoon after 30days of not eating at said time only for me to have a stomach downset o (cos upset would be an understatement). i was fine until i ate o. only for me to finish the food workout and my belle started giving me the noises, soundtrack and whateverumacallit. right now its 7.05pm and i still cannot bring myself to go eat cos i fear imma have another round out a downsetting stomach. anywho, maibe its cos i ate a lil and my belly was expecting me to dismantle a mountain all in the name of fasting is o...

Have you ever experienced a situation where you told someone about your dreams and aspirations in life and said person would tell you anything or go to any length to tell you how what you just told him or her is "not a good idea." person: what do you do? You: i'm an undergrad... You: studying accounting and engineering or engineering finance or Language antropology Person: rubbish! why are you studying such you: thats what i love, my passion lies in that Person: cant you do somn else such as integrated Yoruba Person: people are making it in that field you know You: Yes, i know but we all cant swim in the same river Person: True that, i'm not trying to discourage you or anything but.... i know we have all heard this or had such dialogue at one time or the other in our not so young lives. but closely examining these people, one would realise they havent done much with themselves, you could argue that, thats the reason why ther are saying such, they are only advising you...

Hello, man-beings and woman-beings of the blogosphere. i know its been a minute i updated this blog of mine. u guys wont be mad at me for one second. i was getting over somn that was kinda new to me. I EXPERIENCED MY FIRST GHANIAN PARTY! yes o, i was invited to a ghanian party o. my friend told me almost a month ago so i could have excused myself from not going. i found out a whole bunch of my passies were going so i tagged along too. i picked my friends, AA, OE and L up at about 10.15. we got there at 10.30pm thinking we were late, to our surprise we were the third or forth group of people to land. picked a sit, waited and waited, while we waited, we got to gisting and cracking up ourselves cos the boredom had started to creep in. anyway the couple who were naming their baby strolled in at about 12midnite. i thot nigerians were the only ones who started their owambe's (parties) late but this one gave a run for our money. after the owners of the party had arrived, i thot the whole...

MUMU Vera justt tagged me FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE 1. Loss prevention at a drug store 2. Customer service (damn people are annoying) 3. 4. FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD 1. that guy that does nothing and gets paid for it. 2. food taster at the cheesecake factory 3. 4. FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN 1. Hotel Rwanda 2. Remember the Titans 3. Pirates of the Caribbean (the twice of them) Savvy! 4. FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN 1. iKeJA 2. Clinton,MD 3. NYC 4. Slanting Island FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH i'm not a TV person but... 1. The contender (wonder why they cancelled it) 2. Desperate House-Husbands 3. Sports (baseball, soccer, basketball, football, hockey, tennis) 4. Simpsons FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO 1. Boston 2. North Dakota 3. Blair, Nebraska 4. Houston FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY 1. OrisirisiBlogs.com 2. Monster.com 3. Nigeriaworld.com 4. The original TalkNaija "where running of the mouth is a pleasant ...

its almost a week i updated this kinikon called a blog. y'all wont be mad at me o. a lot of things have happened between then and now. my co-worker passed away on sunday, she was found on the floor of her bathroom by her daughter. i wanted to go to the wake but my manager just had to give me this nonsense project to do. some say she might have had a heart attack in her bathroom and fell or maibe she just slipped and fell, one thing led to another and she passed. MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE! AMIN! engineerAyo is confused o (thats why he hasnt blogged in a long minute) things aint going his way or at least no the way he would have wanted. he is hanging in there though. "a strong being is not the one who has all the muscles, a strong being is one who picks himself up after every fall." anywho, i'll blog about it sooner than later. i just need some time to take a deep breath and say, "WHOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" anywho, my lamborghini eclipse friend had his ...

hey peoples! hope u guys had loved my parade pictures? i havent updated this blog in a minute all i've been puting up is pictures and that i totally dont consider an update. enough of that jare. lets get down to the KOKO of the KINIKON. theres this dude i work with, code name SCHMUCK. you probably be wondering why the name schmuck right, why not give a better name. no be my fault o. by the time u finish u'll realize that the guy needs help. this is wat happened, a while ago, 3 months ago to be precise my ghanian passie got a job out in reno, nevada, so my italian friend V had a going away party for him and all. i heard it was fun but i didnt attend cos i was on vacation at missDBL's. anywho, pictures were taken by schmuck, my albanian friends Vally asked to have copies and schmuck sure agreed to get her copies when he gets them printed. mr. nice guy u might think. OH! did i mention that schmuck has been tring to get with vally since his quest to get my italian friend V got ...

i dey go fight this my friend (lanre) o. seriously! see as him use flag cover my face, is he trying to say my face doesnt make the cut or he thinks i'm trying to scope the kele not like she is not scope able but i have missDBL by my side so i dont know why he used style to substitute my face with a flag. u see this picture here ehn! i put it up for a reason. reason being the weeks that preceded the parade, there was noise that ramseh got into a motor cycle crash in SA or something like that. they went ahead to say the guys face would need reconstruction and all that orisirisi talkings. so when i saw him at the parade i was like no be the person wey some people wan swear say him face don scatter be this. cos if na surgery him come do for NY, those surgeons must have put fertilizer or is it quickfix on his face for it to have been back to normal within this quick minute. people and there talks. anyway, my advice to people out there, please dont spread gist that u cannot back up. so...

these are some pictures i got from someone. i'll post some more of ours when i get them from my buddy who has the cam. Ramseh noah is the one in the white tshirt on the far right next to the kaduna state sign I'll be back with more!

kingley(lamborghini eclipse owner) L-R: lanre, theodore, dada, fancy, lola, ben, onome squatting: random dude, captain naija thats the much talked about lamborghini eclipse. my passie cherishes this car more than woman. maibe thats why he is single. expect more picture y'all. my camera disgraced me so i got to get pics from my passies camera.

People! i'm back for the second part of my report. i've been away due to the hang under i had from my paparazzi wahala. anyway, hope y'all had fun reading so far. if you did then i guess i didnt do a good job, cos i tried to make it as uninviting as possible. moving on, there was an RV parked on 44th street, right on Kudirat Abiola corner (yeah thats wat the street corner at the nigerian embassy is called). there was this lady standing outside it yelling, "FREE HIV TESTING! FREE HIV TESTING! RESULTS OUT IN 30MINUTES!" or somn close to that. i was like, wat would make all these people wanna get tested on parade grounds when all they have in their heads is having fun and catching fishes. run the risk of a potential fish seeing u go in and out of the RV. anywho, the lady distributed free gloves for those wey no fit hold body. come see as this one dude load am like say him go sell am. abi sey na use him wan use am finish. all by himself? anywho watever floats his cano...

welcome back, i know some of y'all wanna kill me already for making u have to finish up ur reading b4 u read the concluding chapter. while some peoples cant wait to comment and say stuff. all well..... continuing from where i stopped, our minds are so made up that our ready made opinion about guys helps us attract guys with the same exact demenour that we dont want. why cant we approach every guy with a clean sheet and see what comes out of it. As regards naija guys dissing naija girls. its somewat of the same thing with a lil extra somn somn. look my gorgeous woman-beings, some guys date and expect somn somn from u (i know they gonn think i'm selling them out) but its the truth. the minute the girl doesnt give it up we start to complain. its worse if our ex's have been chicks that all they want is a man who can KEREWA all day all night. thus within a short minute of our previous relationships, we have been able to get wat we want, how much longer we stay with her is not t...

hey my fellow man-beings and woman-beings. how una dey? hope y'all dey gbadun. we thank god o. me sef i dey a rice take dey inside plate. KAMPE! anywho, i was talking to my buddy Lee the other day and we got talking about naija forums, blogs and all its online bruhaha. she had noticed how more than a handful of naija female bloggers had somn to say about men, relationships, cheating boyfriends and unrepentant ex's and the whole 100 yards. this led us to the usual battle of the sexes threads you find on most naija forums. how all you hear is naijaguys this, naijagirls that, naijagirls this, naijaguys that. this has led to threads that make you wanna break a pc or somn. yeah u know wat i'm talking about dont u, i'm talking about the,"why are naija guys heartless?", "why are naija girls in the US lonely?","all naija guys are dumb","why do naija girls front too much?""naija girls act like they are the koko when they are not more...

hey people! how una dey o. its been quite a minute. the nigerian day parade was awesome, not without its usual orisirisi, but overall it was aiight. I got to see a whole bunch of nigerians in the same place all at once,(that hardly ever happens except at owambe sha o) with their different shades of green. my proples and i made the best out of it, my buddy odukun from MD came to NY with her friends although she jabo me went to hand out with whoever. she shall be dealt with accordingly. moving on, there were a couple of faces present, Ramsey Noah (with all his groupies running after him) Regina Askia, Nnenna from ANTM was there too. whoelse did i see sef, a whole bunch of PoliSTEALtians as always, sINnators, orisirisi Governators. i didnt even bother to know who they were or wat state they were from. they all came for "state visit" abi sey na "official visit" them call am sef. senator florence ita-give of cross rivers state was there, u wonder how i take know her name...

hey! its almost october 1st, it would be the 46th year since naija gained its independence from mama charley land. not like i'm excited about it or anything cos those in the curruptDOORS of power dont give me any reason to be excited. AnyWhichWay, the nigerian day parade is on saturday and imma be there as your one and only news paparazzi. there would definitely be gist to report cos between my fellow naija guys and girls acting like they are all this, their fronting and backing for each other and the orisirisi kinikon that would happen. there sure would be enough to run my mouth about. my guy, Fox was talking about coming over to NY with some members of the fela boys club so we might be setting up our own fela boys corner. he never got back to me though but watever happens sha, i'll let y'all know. i sure wont mind gyrating to some afrobeat on saturday since some of my people aint coming to NY no more. my passies friends are coming from outta state cos of the parade, so i ...

Hey y'all! kilon wassup? i was gonna say nohin had happened to me lately but just when i started typing, i remembered this miss who was hitting on me yesterday. My day started off just ok. i thanked God for allowing me the priviledge of seeing another day. did the usual morning ritual and went to get my alumni card so i could have access to their pc, unlimited paper for printing and all (stuff i paid for and hardly ever used while i was still a student). anywho i got that done, got back to the carpark only to find that some nonsense hound had given me a parking warning. the guy no even fear. giving a whole engineerAyo warning. what arant nonsense! all well i left and went to my friends mum's african store. she was there by herself thus i ended up helping her with some of the customers present. next thing o, this customer she was helping walked up behind me, looked at me for a minute and was like, "do u work here?" and i answered, yes, i do. how may i help u, wat do u ...

was gonna blog about the nigerian day parade coming up on saturday and also give u an update about my passies mitsubishi eclipse but i cant no more. my uncle passed away sometime last week and i just found out today.(my mum and aunt didnt want my sister and I to know) it was my other uncle who called my sister and told her and she told me. i've been moody on and off since i got the news. i dont really know the details though but i know he has been ill on and off for quite a long minute now. he fought back hard and almost came up tops but alas he couldnt go all the way. i'm going to call my mum today though. i need to know how his wife and kids are taking things and if they have told my grandma yet. he has been buried though. May Almighty Allah grant him paradise. Amin. "from him we have come and to him we shall return"

man-beings and woman-beings of this blogonosphere (see me speaking big oyinbo) i salute u o. i've not been here in a minute, partly because i've not really been running around this contraption called internet lately. i just speed thru most times like i speed thru free toll booths. and moreso its the month of Ramadan and i've been engaging myself with more religious stuff (guess some of y'all didnt know i was a muslim) all well now u know. anywho, my passie with the eclipse is back in full swing. the eclipse has been fixed and it made its first public appearance today. although ur one and only engineerAyo wasnt there to weakness the kinikon. anyway, my turn go soon come. he is driving the eclipse to school tomorrow and just cos of y'all i'll go there just to interview the eclipse on how it feels to have lamborghini style doors. pictures and autographs would be collected so stay tuned. Maa Salaam...

people make noise all the time about love this love that and the question "how do u know if u are in love?" always comes up. After all has been said they ask u for ur opinion. i have taken it upon myself in my own giantly little way to help with this quest for finding or knowing when true love is felt. OK here goes! all this one wey una dey ask for people opinion about how love take be, na second hand una go get. nobody can define love for u. u have to define it yourself, do i hear u ask me how. ok make i talk. sit back, take a deep breath and say whooooooosaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! u done that innit. cool! now get a list of things that u hate the most, the things that make u throw up, or as the cliche goes," the things that turns u off in females or males" whichever applies and if it both then i can't really help u in that department. now that u have that, its time for elimination method, the one u've been using b4 now is substitution method. if anyone of these peo...

hey there! its been a minute innit. i've been caught up with a whole bunch of kinikon i cannot even explain. didnt have no sleep last night, got somn on my mind since last nite. thus the reason why i couldnt snooze. i'll keep u updated though. anywho, i brought u guys some update abi sey na downdate on my friends lamborghini doors fitted eclipse. yeah u know the one i was talking about a lil minute ago. the said lamborghini doors have been fitted successfully but the yawa now is that the eclipse wasnt compatible with the lamborghini, it is having allergic reactions and these allergic reactions has led to infections have caused eclipse to become brain damaged(engine no gree work again) and has packed up finally. u wonder wat i mean by pack up. its easy to figure out now. the eclipse is now stale news. it doesnt work anymore, engine problem. now u see why i say if it aint broken dont fix it. short story long my dude is replacing brain damaged eclipse with a BMW seven series. u se...

people! people! people! i dont know how come i have a handful of friends who are loco, some are naturally loco while some just act loco or do things that only loco people do. do i hear u ask me why i think of them like this. its simple some of them do stuff that cannot be explained. theres this friend of mine, he is the son of one of those people in naija that own luxury buses that make them long distance trips. this one is more into the lagos- benin route. anywho, this dude doesnt work right, why he doesnt i dont know, but i know his father downloads money to his pocket whenever he needs. the koko of my concern is that this dude uses his money for stuff a normal person wont do. do i hear u say wats my own is it my money or is it my father that is downloading money to his pocket. it sure aint my father but when people start to do irrational stuff then it means their heads don dey need lubrication. OK! u guys tell me wat u think about this friend of mine. he drives a mitsubishi eclipse ...

Three Pints of Guiness... An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for t...

i need help for real. i dont know wats wrong with me o. i mailed my home fone bill with no postage stamps, no wonder they have been calling my house and it wasnt like i didnt have stamps sef. anyway sha they returned my bill to me, my question is, isnt it the same 39cents they require to deliver it to the fone company that they used in sending it back to me? dem don craze gonn o. why couldnt they just simply deliver it free of stamp and call it a day. hopefully i wont be past due by the time they get it. but these people mean o. all well, i guess i'll take the fone company's offer and start paying my bills online and if they ask me for stamp again then i know they want me to sepelize for them.

I know we all meet orisirisi people everyday, and I know we all know that one person who thinks they are the shit meanwhile they aren't up to my shit. I have had contact with a whole bunch of them. To some extent I feels its more of being an olodo than actually being stupid. I has this coworker who always acted like she was the top bitch maibe cos she had a fat ass and every guy around tried to get some and got some. not like I have anything against her or anything but my filosophy is if u can claim to be the biggest shit around then have the brains to support ur claim. In my own books she was the stupid hot shit that everyone wanted to get in her pants. U might wonder why I think of her this way. I'll sure tell U. She proved herself to be the stupid hot shit some long minute ago at work. na so I sit my own jeje o and she was like "wat time is it" and I was like ten minutes to eleven. she turns around and was like "and wat does that mean?" I looked at her co...

yes o! i am craving mr biggs meat pie, and its thanks to VERA who talked about her cravings o. since i read about her cravings i've been fantasizing about having me some meat pie buffet. i know my friend ALOIB wouldnt wanna hear me talk about any kind of nigerian meals, hopefully she wont kill me when she reads this. talking about nigerian meals its been a minute i fixed me some amala and ewedu (salivating already) it is on this weekend. amala and ewedu is wat imma eat this weekend. DAMN FOOD IS GOOD! tell me u dont agree and i'll talkabout food some more. last week, we were at my friends place cos it was their dads birthday and all. we got talking and gisting, na so we gist reach food o. their dads friend was telling us about naija restaurants here in the states, and was describing this naija place in houston (little did they know i had marked attendance there) at first i didnt want to blow up my spot. but the man forgot the name of the place and was cracking his brain trying ...

Heart breaks! Relationships! et all! people get heart broken due to many reasons. its not always the fault of the dumper neither is it always the fault of the dumpee. depending on how the players in relationships approach what they intend to have or wat they have, i think we could have less heart breaks or in some cases lung breaks. you might wonder where this is heading right. i bet u, u cannot even imagine. read on to find out. ok peoples lets examine this together and see if it makes sense. or better still lets see if we could make sense out of the nonsense i have to say. i think life/relationships would be better if guys make their intentions known to the girls right from the get go. my highschool of thought thinks guys should walk up to females and state wat their intentions are direct with no detours of any sort. e.g. A guy sees some chick he is interested in but his interest is not more that a quick fling. i think the guys words to the chick should be, Hi, i like you, wouldnt mi...

yeah its my birthday today! i know some of y'all might wanna know how old i became. sure i'll tell u, i'm one year older. anywho today was aiight sure better than the last couple of birthdays i have had. my birthdays for the last three years i've been in school all day. so having to work today for just six hours was like a birthday gift of some sort. i didnt do much, just hung out with my passies after i got off work, order food to go (i aint cooking nohin for nobody) and returned the calls of everyone who called me. more people actually called me on this birthday than i the last few years. i'm waiting for my gifts. i dont want anything i wont use so VERA if u think that nonsense 99cent store hausa perfume u bought would be accepted u must be smoking wat u cannot drink. wat else has been happening outside my birthday, lets see (thinking) nothing really. yeah my uncle is ill and has been in the hospital for two days now. he simply went for a checkup o and they said ...

hey people! una well done o! how body? hope say body dey inside cloth. oh! i forgot its not only broken english speaking readers i have. dont be mad get glad. All i said was how are y'all doing? and asked if y'all were aiight and shit. a lot of shit is happening o. i call it shit cos thats wat it tastes like. u might ask if i tasted it. i didnt but the way it smells has shit written all over it. i see some of all you amebo's and news hounds have started taking positions and warming up ur ears or in this case ur eyes. before i start talking about the shit of a thing i wanna talk about, i want y'all to know that i've been somewhat in a mourning state since steve irwin (crocodile hunter) got stung by a sting ray. one thing is that we would all die one day but we all should pray not to die in ways that would hurt. if someone had told him he was gonna be killed by a sting ray he would probably have placed a bet with his life that, that wont be possible. but then it has h...

i went for my interview and i thik i aced it. now i'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope my fone rings sooner than later. the position is in MD too. i had to drive back and forth but then i got to do wat i got to do. talking about MD, and driving back and forth. on my way back to NY yesterday i stopped by ODUKUN's place in BOWIE to say hi. the nonsense girl barely offered me a sit not to talk of food. but thats not even bad at all she is praying i get the job so she would have someone to bother. lil does she know that the job also comes with a restraining order against her. anyway she will learn one day. i also called my friend FUNMIE to see wat she was doing so i could go hang out with her b4 i hit the road. she no carry fone. i had wanted to see her and VERA the trouble maker but i didnt get to. all well, there is always another time, plus we'll mos def see when they come to Ny for the nigerian day parade anyway. i also heard ODUKUN's ex-BF is gonna be a celebrit...

na wa o! can somebody please help me find a way out of this shit hole called sears. i'm tired of their BS for real. anyways lil do they know that i'm on my way to better things. as i always say they will be fine and if they aren't they can kiss my ass and tell me the flavor. talking about flavor, its been a while i went to the city to get me some ice cream.(havent been their since the winter) do i hear u ask why i would go into the city just cos of ice cream. trust me that shit is worth every bit of it. i dont only go all the way, i also have to wait at least a half hour b4 i can get a table. the place is SERENDIPITY III for no reason my friends and i have this nonsense unusual ice cream craving at 10pm at night during the winter. all well thats that about ice cream. ernesto showed me pepper on saturday o. see as him dey blow like say him dey possessed. ask me how i knew. i was doing waka about ni o. i had to attend my cousins wedding, the cousin sef i never met him b4 o. b...